‘Live With Purpose’ (a tidbit of Chapter 1 of my book)

How often do we think ‘September thoughts’? “Since the school year is starting, I will do ____” or “I can have 30 weeks to study ____ a little bit more.” It’s easy to think we can let our schedules and circumstances determine our life; to help our future along. It’s like living on autopilot: letting social life, full calendars, games, appointments, and homework become our purpose for living. And for us college women and beyond, it’s easy to think housework and college and chores is all that’s worth living for.

These activities are all worthy and many are necessary to living. Chores need to be completed. Homework must be finished. Doctors need to be seen. Teeth need to be filled. It’s life.

But, when we start to look to our calendars to determine what’s next, our lives are set to live on autopilot. And when a huge change comes (like graduation, for example), we aren’t sure what we’re supposed to do. We feel lost, like our social life has been stripped away; we feel like we have no reason to exist: like we have no purpose… like God has taken everything we liked to do away!

I confess I used to live on autopilot. Looking to the next thing on the list to determine what I should do. It is how we young single women start to feel discontent when we’re 18 or 21 or 30 and not married- or even seeing anyone. We’re too used to everything coming at us in an orderly fashion, being in control of our lives. When things like a job, marriage, or college don’t come our way, the discontentment sets in.

In reality, God is not taking anything away from us. WE are living without purpose.

“Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You.” Saint Augustine

So often, we’re caught up in living life to simply live life, we forget what we’re here for. We were made for God, not the next big thing! It is only when we live for God do we genuinely begin live vibrantly, wholly, and fully.

How do we do that?

Well… that’s what my book is all about!

Hyper-patriarchy vs. Biblical-patriarchy

Hyperpatriarchy is a type of demanding fatherhood and husband-hood ( ) that requires nothing less than exact obedience all the time- even on minute issues. Hyperpatriarchs like to dictate what his daughters and wife wear, what they do, and where they go. They like to be in complete control and have the final say. They often ignore what their family has to say and go with what they want.

Reading an independent-fundamental-Baptist-Reformed local magazine for women that somehow ended up on my desk; I was shocked at the articles on submitting to your husband/father. Some quotes from this magazine:

“You must let a man be man. (nothing wrong with that) If you interfere with any situation, even if it is sin, better to leave him alone for fear of ruining his testimony.” (Sounds faintly of Muslim honor and strongly of letting someone live knowingly in sin)

“When a woman shares her opinion, she is sharing the true heart within her. This nasty heart in manipulative and wants to see her husband’s ruin. Better to keep her mouth shut.” (So women cannot share opinions wit their husbands???)

“Your husband did not have to marry you. Do not complain about his strictness in keeping you in when he goes out. Being married is enough for him, why push him to do something you want when it is his turn to have fun?” (It’s the woman’s fault he’s angry/disinterested in her?)

I agree with being thankful for what we have, letting men be men, and that the human heart is sick. But when a woman has no say whatsoever, has to live in fear for her husband’s spiritual well being (because she can’t call him out on sin); and has to avoid dealing with even petty problems… that’s hyperpatriarchy.

I was accused once of being a victim of hyperpatriarchy. I bought a lovely maxi-dress recently at a store called Forever 21. I tried to wear it to church the next Sunday; and dad ended up telling me he didn’t like the cut. It emphasized the wrong parts of my body, and he didn’t want that at all. (“Not even a hint” as I like to put it) I really wanted to wear the dress, but obeyed. At church, my friend asked if I was wearing the dress I’d bought. I said “No” and explained the situation. She shook her head and said “That’s no way to live. Your dad is a total hyperpatriarch…”

Let’s take a look at Biblical patriarchy:

Christ is masculine. God is masculine. God so loved the world…HE… gave HIS SON. God is also the ruler of everything, but a gentle one at that. He doesn’t want harm to come to us, but sometimes obedience can cause suffering in some way from others. God is not a cruel taskmaster. He very nature is love. Christ is love. The man of the house represents Christ.  Both man and woman are made in God’s image and are both called to exercise dominion over the earth. They share an equal worth as persons before God in creation and redemption. The man is also the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man. (Gen. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 11:3,7; Eph. 5:28; 1 Pet. 3:7) God has also ordained gender roles. Adam already had headship over Eve before sin entered the world. (Gen. 2:18)

God has placed authority of fathers and husbands to be useful and good in direction family. There is a limit on a man’s power. He must be in the Lord. When a man is outside of God’s will or word, he is not leading well. When in sin, there is hardship for the man to lead. The same goes for a woman when she will not submit. A man’s authority should be exercised with grace and love as a servant, priest, and leader; following the example of Jesus Christ. Leadership is a stewardship from God. (Mal. 3:17; Ps. 103:13; Col. 3:21; 1 Pet. 3:7) A man should also be subject to the laws of the government. (Romans 13) The man and wife, (and hence kids) should also submit to each other and respect opinions, tastes, and views, as long as they are of the word.

The woman is called to be keeper at home- meaning she is to run the household in domestic affairs: cooking, cleaning, teaching kids (primarily- I want my husband to be fully committed to teaching our kids at home and pray he would want to take part in that); basically becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman every day. This doesn’t mean she can’t “have a job”  it simply means her #1 priority should be home. My mom is really a Proverbs 31 woman! My mom and I have a business of sorts- every Tuesday we make 14 dozen cookies and my dad sells them at work. It’s extra income. It’s “working willingly with our hands”. My mom gets up early to start the laundry and she often stays up late to finish things. She is known for her artistic ability (especially working on VBS decorations, where she happens to be right now), her cooking, her get up and go spirit. People at church talk about her highly. She is frugal with our money, so much so, we have surplus of things. That frugality leads us to never do without (we are the thrift store junkies, but we have the nicest, largest, CHEAPEST wardrobes around, I’d say) I could go on, but you probably get the point. She is very submissive to Dad, her hubby, whom she’s been married to for over 20 years. Aww…

*ahem*

Father/husbands should oversee the family well; and do so biblically, gently, and firmly. He must also realize that everyone has an opinion, and his opinion may not line up the wife’s or kids’.

Now, back to the story I was telling about the dress. If my dad would have said “I don’t like that pattern on you, it looks outdated…” It would have been a matter of personal preference, and hyper-patriarchy if he told me to obey immediately without protest. But since he directly said “I don’t like the cut of the top part and how it draws attention to your bust,” I knew right away what exactly was wrong- and that it wasn’t right. Since my dad noticed something I’d overlooked completely, I figured the other guys at church would probably notice, too. I didn’t want to “accidentally” ”entice” a dude when I knew I shouldn’t be even wearing something enticing. And, since the Bible tells us women to be modest and cover up what should be covered ,-and I knew I shouldn’t cause any brother in Christ to lose sight of Christ if I could help it- I decided to do what I knew was right. I changed my outfit.

So, was my dad a hyperpatriarch or a biblical patriarch?

You can’t expect to submit to your husband one day if you can’t submit to your dad now. It’s not always going to be that BIG thing. It will more than likely be a small thing.

For The Sake of Transparency?

For The Sake of Transparency:

Let’s let the emotions run high as we outpour our deepest desires and disappointments in front of the group. Let’s be honest and open and vulnerable to everyone so they can feel and understand our pain. Let’s tell everyone how we got into such a state, and how sorry we feel for ourselves. Let’s rant and rave about the bratty kids we babysit, the goofy husbands we married, and the other annoyances we find so hard to cope with. Let’s share how being a Christian is SOOOOOO hard and not at all like the lovely life you had before you converted. Let’s talk about our defeated feeling and share tips about how to deal with our pride being hurt. LET’S COMPLAIN TIL WE TURN BLUE!!!

And go home feeling… worse than ever, our problems not solved; yet comforted in the fact someone listened to us.

Just let others see through your skin to the real you! It’s okay to cry as long it helps your group “purify” themselves of their guiltiness of not measuring up. It’s okay to drone on to make your point- as long as they see the real you!!! Let’s discuss what that new Christianologist (‘Christian’ psychologist) said about our mind and emotions. It’s okay to veg out and indulge, find time for yourself every day. It’s certainly alright to feel defeated.

THAT’S NORMAL!

If you’ve ever been to a Bible study, youth group girl’s meeting, or a special seminar, you’ll hear that sort of message that “tickles the ears” and leaves you even more bitter and frustrated than before. The idea of being transparent and open and honest for the sake of bragging, complaining, and feeling good is not at all Biblical. God does not command us to tell everyone about ourselves. We should, according to Ephesians, chapter 4- a)speak things that administer grace to the hearers b) speak that which is edifying c) say what we say with love d) speak nothing corrupt. Corrupt here is from the Greek word “sapros” not meaning “dirty” or “bad” as the dictionary says: sapros means not useful, very worthless, not powerful, or even hollow. The idea of being open and honest is a good one, but very easily damaged by selfish motives and Satan.

  When we talk about how our defeat is pulling us down, it may make us seem holier and pious. How Christians began to equate weakness and defeat to spiritual maturity, I have no idea. Christians should not be the ones walking around crying “Woe is me, I have a tinful of problems.” The following is what I wrote in my journal after one experience of a complain fest disguised as a “youth group discussion time”.

  The only thing we studied tonight was narcissism, communication; perhaps even how to justify bitterness at God… I think… that a Christian shouldn’t plan these meetings because they lead to deeper self-worship. “Making time for yourself” isn’t what Christ would ask us to do. I can’t recall Him ever complaining he had no time for himself or that he needed to spend some hours relaxing and getting in touch with His thoughts and desires. As Christians, I also think…we are mirrors. When people look at us and talk to us, the reflection they see should be Jesus. We shan’t talk of all our problems- rather about how God is working through the problems. We shan’t talk about who annoys us- only how we can minister and pray for them. We shan’t gossip, we should keep our mouths shut. The heathen and pagans should see our actions as victory- living evidences that there is a God. A Christian that mumbles about defeat and wants to make time for herself is not a witness.

Christians- triumph! We can’t do anything, including getting the victory over trials, unless we pray. Life would be a bunch of complaining and selfishness if we didn’t live for Him. Stop living like He doesn’t exist: surrender your entire self to Him: your body, your mind, your actions, your thoughts, your words.

 Maybe leave that Bible study, too.

And start your own- with the purpose of growing, not griping.

Fly Around The Room Like A Bird and Spray Paint The Moon Green…

Augustine’s view of God was like that- or so Pelagius thought. God can make the rules- but since he’s God, he can keep the rules. We can’t. We’re ‘massa perditions’- lumps of sin.

If I told you to fly around like a bird, it would be very funny and you’d think me to be halfway to the nut house. But, if a professor at college told you to do these things, and said you’d fail if you were unable, you’d probably get frustrated and leave. Nobody could spray paint the moon green- much less fly around the room like a bird…

  Recently, I delved into the Augustine vs. Pelagius matter (what? My library doesn’t have Pelagius???), and I’m quite… entertained by it. People have argued this for centuries, and if you’re not familiar with the issue, and you’d like a brief summary of the argument, pay attention to this dialogue:

  Augustine: Hey God, since you’re up there as a known fact, how about you make up some rules. Only, since you’re God, you make sure you keep them- cuz we sure can’t…it’s impossible!”

  Pelagius: Hey buddy- are you saying that God would make laws He knows you can’t keep? And punishes you for not keeping them? What’s up with that??? Is that even right?

Augustine: Of course, that’s exactly right.

(bold- adapted from dear old Dr. Bauman)

 This ages old argument intrigues me. Filius Dei vs. Massa Perditions (Children of God vs. Lumps of Sin)

  There are too many different sides to each story…

This battle is one not over God’s nature, but I believe it’s over human nature.

Ah well, to elaborate on this topic would take fifty lifetimes. I’d encourage you to get lost in this matter, too. Read the books. Study the people. Conclude for yourself…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  During my break, so much GOOD happened! But, I doubted a lot for several weeks. I felt like doing nothing, I felt very sick, and bad news kept coming. There was good news, though. An answer… but more on that later.

   “Winter… what a pretty word for such a long, dreary time…”

  We thought it was over, the feet of snow that had piled up around us was melted, the field were flooding, the air was warm- if you’d call 35 degrees warm!

  Then the temperatures plunged below the 20 degree mark, and took my high spirits with it. The snow came again, ice too. The ice came around my heart and tempted me to become bitter at, well, everything. The woman I thought was going to be a nice lady to talk to and learn from ended up just being nosy and jealous because she wanted to know what it was like being a “sheltered” homeschooler- and wondering why I was so good when her foster daughter was so bad. 

The women at church talked of meeting once a month for lunch, {exciting prospect}, but I learned they only met to discuss “Christian” romance novels {Will Levi Miller catch Susanne Zook? Find out now in this cut and dried yet excitingly distracting new Amish romance!!}. My chair was taken away at choir and I was moved to an area far away from the action. The news came I wasn’t going to the internship came that Tuesday. I was not asked (once again) to be in the church’s Resurrection Sunday drama. I sat alone every Sunday in Sunday school. Nobody talked to me, people purposed to leave me out. To rub it in, a lady told me to “bloom where I was planted”. What if I haven’t been planted? Or, if I have… what if I’m not getting a chance for sun, water, and Miracle Gro? Maybe I’m wilting?

 I re-read Contentment by Lydia Brownback over two nights, reading the verses and soaking up the thoughts. It blessed me, and had me asking questions about my life. Your comments, dear readers, also helped to motivate me to seek God’s will. 

 I decided to wholeheartedly see what God had in store for me. I decided to try my hand at being patient and waiting for my time to serve.

  It seemed God blessed me for that decision. On a night where once again, I felt like crying my eyes out and blaming Him for everything, I heard a whisper in my ear: “Trust me.”

  So I did.

I woke up that morning and to my utter amazement, I felt… joy. For the first time since that awful week full of bad news for me, I actually felt remotely happy. I sprang out of bed and leapt around my room listening to the Getty’s, over to my window to throw open the curtains wide. A view like none other greeted me. Overnight, the snow and ice had all melted, and there, sitting on the roof of the neighbor’s house were two robins! Spring was on its way! It was an exhilarating sight. The goldfinches and doves had returned as well. A few days after that, the doves began to coo- a glorious sign of spring. SPRING!! I haven’t heard that wonderful sound since September… ah!

  My thirst for books struck anew- if that is possible. More, more, more, MORE! I’ve re-read my whole collection in a matter of nearly 2 weeks. Hungry to learn. Hungry for more… I’ve checked out every single book at the library on the Russian communist revolt of 1917-1991. I want to learn! I’m going to study every single major event in history this summer.

  It seemed encouragement and hope was popping up around the corner- little girls at AWANA hugged me and told me they loved me, and that God loved me too. A little deaf girl hung on my arm, smiling up at me with an unparalleled cuteness. I signed “I Love You” to her, and she signed back “I love you more more more.”

  There were spectacular sunsets to behold, wonderful songs to be written, verses to commit to memory. There were friends to meet, Sparks to lead, and fellowships to attend. God kept me busy, indeed. He gave me so much more than He’s ever taken away! Has God ever really taken anything away from me other than my sin? I wondered. Every good gift comes from above…all things work together for good…

Even when things happened that were bad to me, I realized- nothing is bad if it means I get to grow closer to the King of Kings. Really think about that name… King OF Kings. He wants me? Why would He want me- or even want to do good for me? I wondered what the “good” was.

 The day or so after the news came about the internship; a song touched my heart- one that I had never heard before. It’s called “A Greater Yes.” After listening to that song, I wondered, “What’s the greater yes to all this? It seems so fragmented, it doesn’t make sense… I’m confused!!” Everything was seemingly working together for Iowa… but now what?

   The answer came a few days later:

“Dear Laura,

“We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted to attend our worldview camp in Wisconsin…”

This August, God is calling me to Summit once again. All that working together for what seemed like that opportunity for interning was working for Summit.

That’s not all…

For the past several years, I’ve asked to teach Jr. Church and at VBS, but when I was 13, I was told I had to be16. When I was 16, I was told 18. This past week, I was given not only one but THREE teaching jobs. I am teaching at VBS in July, Jr. Church during the month of July, and JR. Jr. church in November. These jobs would not have been possible if I were in Iowa…

I’ve worked on my book, getting it into a more organized format. But, I only write about 5-6,000 words about a topic and can’t think of anything more to say! Not sure what I’ll do about that. I seem to have idea bursts that go away after 20 minutes of typing.

  I’ve been reading, studying, and analyzing my collection of Clive Staples Lewis- taking notes, reading critiques online. I highly recommend the Weight of Glory. [A good order to read CS Lewis in is:  Mere Christianity, Abolition of Man, Problem of Pain, Screwtape Letters, Miracles, and Weight of Glory. After that, I’d have to say any order, because they do not expound or require prerequisites].

  I’d also like to order as many DVDS and CDs from Vision Forum as I can! I am almost being overtaken by this hunger to LEARN!!!!!! I want to especially buy the Homestead Blessings series- if any of you have a set or one DVD, pretty pwease tell me about it. Or, recommend a CD or a book- if you’d like.

 Now I close this {really long} return post by saying~ I’m back! And I shan’t leave you again… until August. Oh, and this year, you can send me mail/letters and packages [hopefully full of letters, Twizzlers and Cheezits] while I’m at camp- address and details to come later. I love mail- and getting a lot of mail at camp would be so wonderful! Really, it would. I’m serious. {not to hint or anything}

PS~ I’m going to be at Midwest Homeschool Convention, and am planning on meeting up with a Bright Lights leader I met through blogging- Allison. If anyone else from bloggy-land will be there, please let me know- I’d love to meet you. Don’t think you’ll just run into me eventually- cuz this conference is HUGE (rumored to be 18,000 people there this year). The place is enormous- it takes about 30-45 minutes to get through the main halls from one back corner to kitty front corner. 

  Yahoo! I feel as though I could cram my brain with just about anything!

{insert a very happy, contented sigh right here}

It feels good to press that publish button again…

In the announcer-voiced words of my radio dad:

*We now return to our regularly scheduled programming*

Of Mountains and Valleys, Michigan and (sigh) Pennsylvania

In Pennsylvania, there are mountains. Beautiful mountains. I’ve driven through and over them many, many times. After the gorgeous view FROM the top, the wonderful thin air, and the rounds of ear popping: you start to go down, down, down- until suddenly you’re in the valley, with no view except the one OF the mountains.

In Michigan, we have mountains too. We just call them anthills. Oh, and we have valleys, too. Our singular name for them is pothole. We’re flat as can be ’bout here, except for the Ridge a mile to the west, were Lake Erie’s original beaches used to be. If my town we around 550-ish years ago, it’d be 100 feet under water.

In short, I miss Pennsylvania.

In the Christian life, we have ups and downs, just like climbing a mountain…

… but you knew that, didn’t you?

I think our Christian life is meant to have valleys. It’s how God brings us closer to Himself.

But is it possible that we are creating a virtual reality of our own ‘mountaintop’?

Entertainment churches I’ve been to have a fake sense of Christianity. Climbing rockwalls, purchasing from Starbucks vendors, watching Casting Crowns music videos, and jumping up and down to the beat of the music is considered worship. Children’s programs are Veggie Tales, with no after -thoughts from teachers. One little girl I talked to at Awana recently said she liked her Sunday School class. I said, “Well, that’s great! Why do you like it?” She said she liked the Veggie Tales. Now, Veggie Tales is not a bad thing if you talk to your kids about the real story being told before or after you show it. The series can be and is a great visual teaching tool in a visual learning culture! I asked her what the story was about, and she said…” A big chocolate bunny and three veggie-bles that wouldn’t sing the song!” I laughed, remembering Rack, Shack, and Benny that I first saw at a drive-in earlier in my teen years. Seeing the opportunity to re-inforce the lesson she’d learned, I asked her: “Can you tell me what Bible story it represented?” She asked me:

“It’s a Bible story?! COOL!”

Morals without God is not going to work- there’s not a base for the moral! A moral is just a moral, not God’s statute.

Entertainment churches try to give us a virtual mountaintop experience so we do not have to work hard to “feel” God’s love.  With a music video and its driving beat, a frappe, and a climbing wall, you feel only emotional highs. Worship can be emotional, but it must evoke the right emotions. The emotions being raised by worldly things are fleshly emotions. ‘Feeling good’ is not necessarily worship.

I believe that we are supposed to have mountaintop experiences, but sometimes we just have to go back down into the valley. Summit camp was great for me- my mountaintop experience was being with other great teens with a like-passion. The valley? Going home to see some people who are Christians, but are not the same way Summit people are. (People who go to Summit are just special, okay?!) They were the same, I came home changed. The valley was figuring out the balance of applying my new knowledge and beliefs without making my friends purposefully mad by my intelligence. It was hard. People did think I was snobby – I was speaking Bauman and Noebel-eze! But telling the truth in love was the product of the valley. I learned to rein in my words and think a little more before I speak. God uses your valleys.

Valleys are learning experiences. When you are at the end of your wits, you begin to climb, seeking God again. Then, you reach the top and start the whole process all voer again!

Does that make enough sense? This has been in my drafts folder for A LOOOOOONG time, and since I’ve been struggling with a writing valley (writer’s block! ) I figured, hey, why don’t I post this? And, after reading this post  and this post and that post, I remembered I had to finish this and post it sometime…

In The Right Direction: Apathy

I Don’t Care

Apathy.

n.

1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

[Latin apathīa, from Greek apatheia, from apathēs, without feeling : a-, without; + pathos, feeling.]

That would exactly describe the modern Christian feeling towards the least. Yes, there are people who do reach out and adopt an orphan. There are a few who take widows under their wing and support them in the most difficult time of life. A mere handful will seek out the abused mothers and counsel them. But usually, most of us don’t even think about how these people feel- or even consider where they might be and if they exist. We’ve been conditioned to think WE are the most worthy of attention. WE need to be numero uno.  Oh really?

Imagine you are a Christian in Nazi Germany. The Nazis, for the most part, leave you alone. The most they have done to you is tease, and you don’t expect anymore than that. The poor Jews, however, have much more to fear. Just as long as it isn’t you.

One Sunday, you decide to meet in the church: which is now, by the way, decorated with the red flags of the Third Reich. A small amount of people show up, and the preaching begins. The pastor begins a watered-down version of the gospel, so not to annoy any spies that may be among you, and you settle down to listen.

Faintly, in the distance, you hear trucks coming. This has happened before: everyone knows the routine by now.

“Take your song-books and sing number 46!” shouts the pastor. Scrambling, you reach for the book and begin to sing.

“I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene…”

You hear the screams and shouts from the trucks passing by: filled with Jews on their way to concentration camp. You want to shut out their screams- so you begin to yell out the lyrics louder.

“Louder!” The pastor yells. “Louder!”

Finally, a few minutes later, the trucks have rumbled by, and the singing is over.

That is exactly what happens in churches today.

Maybe we don’t have Nazis bearing down on our Jewish neighbors. Perhaps we don’t have to sing a song really loud to drown out someone’s screams. But we are, in a sense, drowning out the cries for help around us.

How am I doing that?

We are too self-centered. We ignore the homeless guy sitting in front of Wal Mart and head to the ice cream stand. We look away when we see a mother struggling to help her family survive after the death of her husband. We judge others by their appearances. We act like we don’t care, then we get so used to acting, it just becomes normal. We really don’t care anymore. We don’t care about not caring.

The Problem of Missions Trips

The church is often littered with the trash of modern psychology. It’s all about you, and you have to do good things. Honestly, I think that mission trips are not really missions work. Pastors label these “ministry.” It’s a chance for people to see the world and ease their conscience at the same time. The poorest people in America would be rich in other parts of the world! When Americans arrive with their fancy blow-dryers, expensize luggage, and Bible-zines, how do you think the nationals feel? If you really cared about these people: take out your comforts and replace them with Bibles in the country’s language. (Do you really think that people in the heart of Mexico will care whether or not you have mascara on?) If you share the gospel, that’s awesome, just be sensitive! But mission trips to non-English speaking countries bug me! Of course, we need to help out our fellow man: that much is clear: but spiritual should come before physical needs. Painting a church isn’t exactly what I would call “spiritual.” The church is a building to meet in, and is simply a shell that holds believers: like a person’s body houses the Holy Spirit. If you can’t really share the gospel face to face- or with a translator: don’t go. Don’t go to meet only the physical. That’s not missions.

True missions is sacrifice. I believe there are two ways to do missions: a wrong way and a right way (whoa, that took a rocket scientist)! Missions trips will be very effective for you if you do it the right way! I’m not condemning missions trips altogether, there are some types that are very effective. I would like to go on one myself sometime. I’m just warning you to check your motives.

The wrong way~

Are you going to see more of the world?

Are going so that you can say you’ve been to “such and such” a place?

Are you going with all of your comforts in tow? (Ipods, video games, and excessive beauty supplies?)

If you said yes to any of these: you are apathetic towards others and need to work on changing your heart before you go.

The right way:

Are going out of true love for others?

Are you praying for these people before you head out?

Do you feel like you could be called into full time missions eventually?

If you answered yes to one or more questions, you seem to have the right motives.

Christian missions is in a sad state. It’s all about us in America- and to my international readers, maybe you can relate- perhaps you have seen apathetic Christians, too! The only way to change that is by doing something different. Overcoming apathy. I believe the real root of apathy is self-centeredness.

Be sure to read the previous “In The Right Direction” posts so you can get the full effect.

:: Friends ::

Tuesday was the final meeting at the bible study group I lead before we break for the summer. I decided to talk about friends, as many young ladies are not careful with their choice of friends. Here are some of the points from the lesson:

What makes a good friend?

Proverbs 17:17 ~ A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

A friend will love you when you’re having a “grouchy day” or aren’t feeling well. They will stick with you through anything and will remain loyal. If they simply walk off when you’re having trouble, they aren’t the right type of friends.

Proverbs 27:10a~Do not forsake your friend.

Some choices to make when making friends:

Choose to grow spiritually together. It’s great to have Christian friends! We have an extra special bond with them: we share more than this world in common! I have a friend who shares prayer requests with me, and I share some of my requests with her. Then, we’ll update each other in the weeks following. When you have a friend who shares a passion for God, it edifies both of you.  

Proverbs 27:17~ As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

When iron is whetted against iron, sparks fly as both are turned from blunt to sharp. We should try to keep our friends sharp both spiritually and physically.

Choose to be yourself. Don’t be one person with your first friend, another way with the second, then yet another way with your third friend.  Who you are at home is who you should be with your friends. Life is so easy when you just be yourself.

Choose to be loyal. Don’t flip back and forth between friends. If you can’t make up your mind on who’s your best friend, then make all of your friends equal. Never ignore your friend- especially if you are in a place where you have many friends. Invite all of your friends to sit with you at a dinner, stand with you when you talk to others, and walk around with you. If some of your friends are jealous of you hanging with one person at church, try not to sit your friends. Sit with your parents to avoid showing favorites.

With all kinds of relationships, including friendship, there are going to be minor and major problems, fights, and a time of saying goodbye.  Trouble usually starts with a disagreement about what to do, where to go, how to do it, or something you or she did and the other doesn’t like.

Don’t act as if nothing happened. You must acknowledge the fact that one of your erred. If you know it’s you who was wrong, admit it humbly. Ask forgiveness and make it a point to do right. However, if your friend accuses you of something and you know what you did was Biblically right, ask your parents for direction. If it’s just a petty disagreement about silly things like what to eat, it’s better just defer and don’t be petty along with her. Always be careful with friends who disagree with you. They may end up disagreeing later about bigger issues. Sometimes they are small, and you can live with that. But bigger things, like smoking and partying may be a sign that your friend is the wrong type of friend.

If there’s been a misunderstanding, try as best as possible to keep it between you and her. If others notice a problem and ask what’s happening, say something to the effect of: “There’s been a problem, and we’re working on it.” If they press for details, it would be wise to tell them some details in a way that doesn’t detract from your friend’s testimony. Simply explain things in a polite way and that you’re working things through as best to your abilities. Don’t point out her bad points in the issue. (“She told me that I was a loser!”) That only shows how immature you really are.

Don’t just ‘fall’ into friendships. Pick your friends wisely: after getting acquainted, pray about it and ask your parents for direction. Your friends should have many good qualities – not lots of bad qualities. Don’t be too particular, though, because nobody is perfect. Just be aware that some people are out to tear you down, and ruin your testimony. It’s hard to deal with these kinds of people. Because I don’t know your situation, if you are having problems with these friends whose life goal seems to be to ruin your life, you need to talk to your parents. They are your no. 1 resource for advice and encouragement (after the Bible )

Some facts about friends:

It is better to have an acquaintance who is the right type of friend than a best friend who is the wrong type.

As long as you get along well and have similar beliefs, just about anybody could your friend. (Don’t scratch off those older folks. They are so wise!)

You’re actually about 5 to 10 people away from being friends with everybody. (You know someone, who knows someone else, etc, after you repeat this five to ten times, the last “known someone” should know you. Make sense? It’s true)

The best secret to have is the secret of keeping no secrets.

When I lead the study, I try to include an activity, and this meeting’s activity was ‘friendship duos.’ I made a list of some famous pairs (Adam/Eve; Currier/Ives, Bert/Ernie, etc)  When you stick around a girl for a while, you become recognized as their friend. You both become associated with one another, like when you hear the name Beauty, you think of the Beast. Their reputation becomes your reputation. You need to pay attention and make sure the association you have with a girl is a good one. They think of your name and then think of your friend’s.  Are you a good reflection of her?

 

I Know Where I’m Supposed to Be This Summer!

Most of us make some kind of exciting summer plan. Get a job at Frosty Boy, go to the West Coast, maybe go to camp…

Well, I am planning on attending summer camp at Summit in Wisconsin. This camp is a worldview training course spread over 2 weeks. It has a lot of good teaching- and a pretty hefty price tag for the session: $895.

I decided to give up my much loved ballet and Pointe classes on my senior year- for two weeks that would last for eternity. I knew where I needed to be- even if it meant giving up something I love. So, I sent in my application knowing the Holy Spirit was directing me to attend. I wasn’t surprised (just extremely happy… well… I was going nuts ) when, a few days ago I received my letter of acceptance.

Here’s the great thing:

The IRS just sent us a notice saying my dad had filled out a few places on his return wrong (which he can’t figure out WHERE I wonder why? ;-) ) and that they were sending us $828 within 4-6 weeks. I was very surprised to hear this coming- especially in the middle of May of all times! Then a thought struck me: I had saved around $66 dollars for camp and any other expenses that came up.  My brain whizzed! Could it be? I pulled out the calculator (because 2+2 is 4 and that’s all I know, haha) and added numbers. My money and the check combined? $894. Oh, and I got another dollar today.

“God? Could you be any clearer?! Thank you!”

If God wants you to be somewhere, He’ll make sure you get there.

PS: My dad said I could do ballet and pointe next year! What a blessing! What a joy!

A Life of Service

Here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you today about ministry.  This week’s Bright Lights lesson is on developing a ministry, and I thought I’d share with you some of the things God has laid on my heart to teach the girls in my group.

~How to Serve Radiantly For God’s Glory – Not Your Own~

Begin practicing leadership: Leaders realize it’s not about them- it’s about serving others. Most people are followers- when there is somebody to show them what to do- they will follow. Leaders are noticed! “Leadership is the willingness to rise to the bottom.” This means that by lowering our status in this world, we are rising in our heavenly status- we have found favor with God. ‘The men who moved the world were the men the world would not move.’ Abraham Lincoln got that right! It basically means: Shape your culture. Don’t let it shape you!

 

 

Use your passion: Your passion is the thing you can not not do. Passion is doing what you love and can’t do without. Use it for God’s glory, not the praise of men. Take your passion captive under Christ’s headship – don’t let the passion captivate you.

 

 

Get a mentor to help you along the way: Proverbs 13:20~ He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. If you spend time with foolish people, you will also be foolish. Make sure your friends encourage you and help you. Talk often with older people in your church- they are full of pointers and counsel. A study actually showed that teens with mentors were more likely to be leaders – and successful ones at that! Abe Lincoln, Timothy from the Bible, and Theodore Roosevelt all had mentors- all became great men of God.

 

 Know what you’re doing and why: Understand why you are doing a certain ministry- and pray for direction where you’ll go next. “If you don’t care where you go, it doesn’t matter what road you take.” This is true: if you want to go to Texas, don’t go towards New York. Choose what way you should go carefully, and don’t stray off the path. Follow the Bible to the letter for guidance along the way.

 

 Model responsibility: Trust, respect for others, service, obedience, and willingness are all characteristics to have when serving. Self control is also important. If you decide to minister to a friend who has a problem with controlling her words, you shouldn’t give her help unless you have the quality of controlling your words!. If you can’t control yourself either and decide to give her help, this is called hypocrisy. Responsibility starts with truthfulness. Responsibility also harnesses ‘the excuse monster’ and takes the blame humbly. 

 

 

Things to remember when doing ministry~

God uses ordinary people to accomplish the extraordinary!

Smile!

Prayer must proceed ministry

Be under your father’s authority (Malachi 4:6, Proverbs 3)

Avoid all appearance of evil (Satan is bent on hurting our testimony)

Check your motives often and don’t proceed until they are right

Be enthusiastic- it’s contagious!

Set goals for your life- they get you farther!

Be sensitive to others and their needs more than your own. Jesus Others You

Demonstrate courage and initiative

Find security in the Lord, not people’s opinion (the fear of the Lord)

Be bold in speaking the truth in love

Be a good listener

Share the gospel when the opportunity arises

Be an example (dress modestly, watch your words, etc)

But I’m afraid…

What if the people don’t like me? What if I goof up the gospel? What if? What if? WHAT IF?!

Prayer- is so great! Fall on your knees before you begin ministry. Pray to thank Him afterwards. If He calls you to do His will, He will give you the strength you need. It should always go first before doing any type of service to the Lord. Pray before you help in a church activity. Even songs at church can become prayers. Really mean what you sing!

Fears are well-concealed lies- They are traps Satan puts into our way to trip us up. Once we see the lies for what they really are, we can quickly and wisely navigate our way around them.

 Speak and teach on subjects you care about. Do the ministry you have a passion for. Even when you don’t like what you’re doing, do it for God!

Simple ideas to get started:

 

An encouragement ministry~

Sending notes to widows, grieving families, new mothers, shut-ins, and those sick in the hospital

Give hugs often!

Singing ministry~

If your family is musical, sing at nursing homes, or get in touch with other musical families and sing together for a large family choir!

Do special music at church

Speaking ministry~

Do a Bible study with your friends

Prayer Ministry~

Pray for waiting children- for more info go to adoptuskids.org

Everyone is nervous when they start something new. Here is what I’ve learned so far on overcoming fear~

 

Sunsets

There’s one thing I love doing for free in the summer: watching and photographing  sunsets! I absolutely love them! I hope you enjoy the scenes…

Ephesians 5:8~ For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of the light.

John 3:19-21~ And this is the condemnation, that light  is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.  But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

Phillipians 2:15  That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.

Psalm 119: 105 ~ Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Matthew 5 :14~ Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.