‘Live With Purpose’ (a tidbit of Chapter 1 of my book)

How often do we think ‘September thoughts’? “Since the school year is starting, I will do ____” or “I can have 30 weeks to study ____ a little bit more.” It’s easy to think we can let our schedules and circumstances determine our life; to help our future along. It’s like living on autopilot: letting social life, full calendars, games, appointments, and homework become our purpose for living. And for us college women and beyond, it’s easy to think housework and college and chores is all that’s worth living for.

These activities are all worthy and many are necessary to living. Chores need to be completed. Homework must be finished. Doctors need to be seen. Teeth need to be filled. It’s life.

But, when we start to look to our calendars to determine what’s next, our lives are set to live on autopilot. And when a huge change comes (like graduation, for example), we aren’t sure what we’re supposed to do. We feel lost, like our social life has been stripped away; we feel like we have no reason to exist: like we have no purpose… like God has taken everything we liked to do away!

I confess I used to live on autopilot. Looking to the next thing on the list to determine what I should do. It is how we young single women start to feel discontent when we’re 18 or 21 or 30 and not married- or even seeing anyone. We’re too used to everything coming at us in an orderly fashion, being in control of our lives. When things like a job, marriage, or college don’t come our way, the discontentment sets in.

In reality, God is not taking anything away from us. WE are living without purpose.

“Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You.” Saint Augustine

So often, we’re caught up in living life to simply live life, we forget what we’re here for. We were made for God, not the next big thing! It is only when we live for God do we genuinely begin live vibrantly, wholly, and fully.

How do we do that?

Well… that’s what my book is all about!

Life as a Devotion

While teaching at VBS last week, I grew quite used to the devotional for the teacher every morning.  If you have read my blog for any length, you know I’m not the “What did King Joash do about the problem? How does this apply to your life?” type of devotional reader. This devotional was one of those rare finds that focused entirely on getting your mind ready for the day. Well written, encouraging, and refreshing, I began to look forward to each day’s reading. Saturday morning, after VBS was over, I woke up, and instinctively reached for the book. Wait a minute… “Oops, I turned it in yesterday.” I remembered. I felt rather upset!

But I was reminded I don’t need to have a devotional in front of me to be refreshed and encouraged.

When I randomly stop riding my bike and crawl into a gully with water in it (known as a “crick” around here ), put flowers in my hair and sing praise songs in German, I’m praising God. I realize now I may look weird doing it, but hey, Moses had a glowing face when he walked off the mountain! I am learning to love him when I make a Christ-like behind the scenes decision that will affect the outcome of an important day. I am reflecting Jesus’ heart for kids when I patiently tie a kid’s shoe for the 24th time.

Our lives are a devotional for others to see. Our lives are a testimony of His goodness.

What do others see?

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NEEDED: Your opinion: Do you want a bunch of scheduled posts (like last year) or “live” blogging when I’m at Summit? – which by the way I leave for in only 17 days!!!!  I can’t promise I’ll blog long, or much, but it’s an option!

Oh Joy! Quotes and Notes!

~~Little Paragraphs and Deep Thoughts, Big Facts and Scrawly Notes That Churn ’Round In My Noggin~~

“Legalism is merely the futile attempt to do in our own strength what the Spirit of God means to accomplish on our own behalf.” ~ Leslie Ludy Set Apart Femininity

The form in which ideas are expressed affects what those ideas will be. (The MEDIUM is the METAPHOR) ~ Neil Postman Amusing Ourselves To Death

If you asked 2o good men today what they though was the highest of the virtues, 19 of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christains of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philosophical importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not of primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian view of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  ~ CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

It is a sin to be dumb! ~ John Stonestreet- Summit lecture

A real woman is a woman who recognizes that she has been exquisitely and perfectly created by a loving God for a unique purpose. Out of geniune gratitude, awe and a desire to please her Maker, a real woman joyfully embraces her femininity and submits every aspect of her identy to God’s original and unique design for her…Unlike feminists, we know God’s design for women. This gives us the upper hand. Will we use it? ~ Elizabeth Botkin So Much More

America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within. ~ Josef Stalin (from the opening of the documentary, Agenda) And what’s happening in our world???

The flood of rampant homosexuality will not ruin a nation. Why? Because rampant homosexuality is a sign that the nation is already ruined! ~ John Stonstreet Summit lecture

Godly womanhood, the very plance sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other type of woman: beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women. But seldom do we hear of godly women- or of a godly man either, for that matter. We believe women come nearer to fulfilling their God-given funtion in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife, than to be Miss America. It is a greater acheivement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old fashioned, than to be ultra modern, The world has enough womee who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs women who are pure. We need women, and men too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct. ~ Peter Marshall

When God’s Spirit is given His rightful place in a young woman’s life, He transforms her personality to reflect His beauty… He can overtake any kind of personality. . .You decrease, so that He might increase…~  Leslie Ludy The Lost Art of True Beauty      (This book was a great book for me. I tend towards shy, and for the first time, I realized I could go outside of myself- types are just types… but I recently went to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp to take a personality test anyway. The test revealed my weaknesses and strengths. I am an INTJ – Which type are you?)

The Baha’i faith believes in one God, but there are many ways to seek/experience God. Minimize theological differences and work together for harmony of faiths, freeing slaves and seeking justice. Affirmative action. Socail Justice. Service to humanity is highest goal. Baha’i believes in one God in one person- unitarian theism- it’s roots are in Islam, but they also accept YAH, Jesus, and Brahma as the same person- these are just other names. ~Len Woods      (Is the new Zach Hunter “Be the Change” movement founded in Baha’i? Whether he knows it or not, unknowingly, yes. The affirmative action movement is combining various religions to do things in God’s name. Is there a way to do hard things the wrong way? Yes! Baha’i followers will be among those to whom God will say “Depart… I never knew you…” Pluralism is one of the worst of the false worldviews).

To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward event. The best informed man is not necessarily the wisest. The wise man will seek to acquire the best knowledge- to recognize the significance in the factual is wisdom. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer (He is a good writer, and I like his “Cost of Discipleship”, though his theology on salvation was messed up…)

“We live in a dictatorship of relativism… what people say and do becomes normal, but not right.” ~Scott Klusendorf.

“Waiting for Godot is the Humanist’s dream. It’s about two guys waiting for a friend who never comes. Notice what the friend’s name is… GODot.” John Stonestreet on Beckett plays. (Seriously, look them up. They are hopeless)

“For I seek not to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order I can understand, study, and learn. “

Ideas have history, they come from somewhere. Ideas have feet, they will go somewhere. Ideas have consequences: they will do something to you or for you. Doc Noebel

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out it has no meaning. Just as if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would have no meaning. ~ CS Lewis

In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair. The sin that believes in nothing cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, remains for nothing, and has nothing for which it will live for or die. ~Dorothy Sayers (Sounds like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World- a place so hedonist and so limited by… love)

This so-called tolerance is nothing but a huge indifference.  ~Alexis de Tocqueville

“We are all part of one. Intellect is error…” ~Bhagwhan Shree Rajneesh - (Haha If we are all part of ‘one’, how did we get away from that oneness into many religions? Just asking, Mr. Rajneesh)

Sloppy language makes sloppy thought possible. ~Michael Bauman

Be the first you, not the second me. Education is learning to think, indoctrination is teaching you how to think. ~Michael Bauman.

The probability of life originating from an accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a print shop. ~ Edwin Conklin

He that knows nothing will believe anything.

If God wants to use you, he wants to use the real you. Not the person you want to be. God doesn’t use imaginary people. He wants you to be who He made you. Christians should not feel guilty by this… they are fogiven. What we feel is conviction.  Rowan Gillson (IPS)

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Read as many books as you can- I often wander the aisles of the library and pull of non-fiction books, take them home, and read them completely. You’ll never know how much you can know until you start to learn.

Stay At Home Daughter

Part One

  People won’t like the fact you are going to live at home until you marry.

Fact.

Expect their disapproval, but don’t be discouraged by it.

Prepare answers!

  There’s a passel of myths swirling around the church community and abroad, tricking people into thinking our time at home is a time of… laziness. Unless a stay at home daughter is making no contributions to the family household whatsoever, this daughter is not wasting her time at all. People at church grill me almost every week because, well, I’m weird. And weird (to them) means sheltered, narrow-minded, stupid, and maybe even lazy. Some of the questions I’m asked are:

  “Don’t you want to have a life?” “Do you feel like your parents are forcing this on you?” “What about college? Do you mean you aren’t going away?” “Maybe you’re just afraid of the real world.” “Why not move out and get an apartment when you’re graduated?” “What if you’re dad and mom die?” “Maybe your parents are making you do this because they know you’re not ready and are naïve?” “How can you say you like living at home?” “Don’t you want to learn life skills?” “You won’t know what’s new in technology and in the culture if you’re not in it!” “What? You’re graduated/graduating?” “What about socialization?!”

  I’d like to attempt to destroy these myths and give you an idea of how to go about answering similar questions that may be asked of you.

  “Don’t you want to have a life?”

I usually laugh, because I find this question forthright and hilarious. I ask them to define “life” and what “life” entails. Remember: the battle over ideas is a battle over the definition of words- when words lose their meaning, people lose their lives (and debates). Life, to them, is a fun-filled, outing based, social time where a girl spends her single time growing socially, shirking her duties at home. “Life” means that I should not be ‘stuck’ inside a house all day. “Life” is all about me!

  Life, in God’s definition is serving others, learning all I can before some guy steals me from my mom and dad , and getting a grasp on reality: LIFE is not about FUN, is not FAIR, or is of things FRIVOLOUS, nor is it based on crammed social agendas! My mom told me recently that life is not about the next great thing to look forward to: it’s about looking forward to the next thing God tells you to do. How true.

 “Do you feel like your parents are forcing you to do this?”

Not at all. My dad is really one who says “Whatever you do is fine, honey,” in most situations. He would not force me to do anything- unless it is something that I would benefit from, like sticking out a class at a co-op, or when I was younger eating all my veggies. My mom likes loves to see me carry out my convictions and obey the Holy Spirit. She is full of guidance, and is definitely one of my best friends; but I came to discover the idea of Stay at Home Daughterhood by myself, through reading.

 After being at home for so long, they assume your parents have an attachment problem and will not let you go! You can help this by one verbal move; but it is hard to make someone change their mind about you.

Simply speak of your commitments as your own. Don’t say “My dad wants me to wear skirts.” “My mom doesn’t want me to go to this activity.” Make your commitments your own. “I prefer skirts, they are more modest.” “That activity would not benefit me.” This will erase the idea of “bondage” into parents passing on convictions, or a ”teach them to your children” outlook, or even “indoctrination”. Proving the commitments are accepted and fine by your book doesn’t make your parents look like captors.

Suggested resource list-(do in order )

1. Read: So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Listen to the CD by these girls: Strength and Dignity for Daughters

Watch: Return of The Daughters

2. Joyfully at Home by Jasmine Baucham (I really like this book, I apparently have a lot in common with Jasmine, so it really really hit home for me)

Watch: Dominion Oriented Daughters (Geoffrey Botkin)

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I, again, ask those who are leaving book-long comments meant to stir up rabble rousers for the convention to S-T-O-P.

This is our family’s final year @ Midwest Homeschool Convention (unless they invite Ken Ham next year and allow AiG to display in the exhibition hall…). I’m excited to be going (though bittersweet, because of the grim events happening concerning AiG). I will be posting pictures and notes over the weekend, so be sure to check back!

Pressure To Be “Smart” and “Successful”

A good education [through books, documentary, magazines, sermons, teachers, elders, and the like] provokes thought.

The teachers don’t think for you.

They don’t shove watered down indoctrination down your throat.

They let you do the thinking.

They let you decide for yourself what conclusion makes sense.

If you’re not asking good questions, you’re not thinking. If you’re not thinking, you’re not getting educated.

It’s that simple.

Colleges really don’t care if you exit their campus  with knowledge. They want your money and your heart sitting obediently in their laps. Universities divide and conquer by belittling, student “organizations” and the coveted A… which is only placed on the papers that spit back what your professor told you.

Colleges are out to indoctrinate you- they aren’t big promoters of free thinking and speech. Look at all the colleges that have hate speech codes! The college campus is a dictatorship of relativism, a horrible dominion or atheism, with a whatever floats your boat, goes. {exception: Christianity} You won’t find the dean very sympathetic to your complaints of low grades on biology papers. They won’t tolerate your ‘intolerance’ (which, by the way,  is intolerance).

The University was once a pinnacle point to be if you wanted to become a thinker… a free thinker… but now, they are places for liberals to produce minions,  the young to learn Communist doctrine, and a haven evolution studies.  If you think about the whole open-minded, tolerant issue, they are the ones that are narrow minded and intolerant!

Because we hold college so high on our list of great things to do, success becomes synonymous with a piece of parchment with words that mean “Sue Public is educated.”

Let me tell you about some people who didn’t attend university, but became great leaders, thinkers, and speakers. Some of these people have character that is amiable, people I’d like to be like…

Abraham Lincoln~ Even though he started the whole tax thing, the admirable Mr. Lincoln’s fight against slavery and steadfast faith in God is what got him to the Civil War Presidency.  Not a degree. President Lincoln was a first rate speech giver, though quiet and thoughtful by nature.  This man self taught himself trigonometry and algebra, and simply read books to become a lawyer. That’s thinking.

Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin~ Homeschooled authors of So Much More, co-stars of Return of the Daughters and Homeschool Dropouts did not attend college.

Andrew Jackson~  This US president was homeschooled and taught himself law, made it to congress, and was a judge.

Ben Franklin ~ A little eccentric in his style, Ben Franklin never went to school! His mother and father taught him, later on he learned through discussion with the people in his city.

Christopher Columbus~ Be thankful that this guy had the initiative to studiy maps and geography, figures and languages, because without that, he might not ever had made it the “Indies”. Perhaps we would be European? Though he didn’t discover America, as the fable tells us, he did discover the fact of another continent.

Henry Ford~ He didn’t invent the car, but he did invent the assembly line. This man who grew up just miles from my house didn’t even think to go to college, and studied human actions and time saving qualities until he came up with the assembly line!

Joyce C Hall~ Started Hallmark Cards after spending his time working odd jobs to supplement the family’s income. His faith in God propelled him to step out in faith selling cards… and eventually he started the business. He never went to college, but studied some business on the side

Rachael Ray ~ Though she annoys me to kingdom come, it is amazing that she never went to college, attended culinary school, or took a formal cooking class. She taught herself.

Sarah Mally~ Founded Bright Lights, a discipleship group for girls; leads Strong in the Lord Conferences; and wrote a book. Never went to college, and the same with her brother and sister, whom she wrote another book with.

Thomas Edison~  This guy was homeschooled, and worked on the railroad at age 12. Studied subjects that interested him, which developed into the invention of the movie camera, lightbulb, and others.

There are so many more degree-less people out there who are just as smart (or smarter) than those with degrees!

Going off to college is actually not Biblical. Sure, young adults back in the day went to a group learning session or two a week, but it didn’t require them learning away from home and living at the school. They came and went and weren’t required to believe everything that their teachers did. The teachers were elders who were wise, skilled, and old: with lots of experience behind them. This is the best kind of teaching! If they wanted to learn specifics, they did live with a relaitve or dear friend who knew a lot about the subject at hand.  Don’t leave your father’s house to go live in a place full of deceivers and mockers. Why should a Christian girl purposely immerse herself with these kind of people?

There are alternatives to going to live on a college campus. Here are some things that help you gain knowledge the right way!

1. College Plus ~ a system that I am planning to do once I graduate this spring. This is an online course through Thomas Edison State and Bryan Colleges. Using CLEP tests and distance learning, you stay at home and work through your own pace. I’ve heard of some people who get their degree by age 15, 16 or before they graduate! When I first heard that, I was shocked, thinking “But they are too young!”

That is the wrong kind of thinking. Just because you’re 18 it doesn’t make you magically ready for higher learning! That is the Darwinian view that “young can’t understand because they haven’t evolved…so we need different levels- segregated by knowledge…” or the Communist view of “divide and weaken, then conquer…” (This is why churches have 5th grade Sunday school, 4th grade Sunday school… break up the family, weaken the church) Age doesn’t equal smarts!

2. Ask to have an elder, wise person to write down things that they wished they’d known at your age. This is very helpful. There are a lot of older ladies at my church who randomly give me great (and I mean GREAT) advice! Our church has a mentoring ministry for older to teach the younger. Though I think parents should teach the topics, I think it’s nice for those who have families who won’t teach their kids. Some topics our church covers are: canning, sewing/mending, knitting/crocheting, mechanics, gardening, cooking/baking, home repair, etc.

3. Start a home journal with recipes, ideas for cleaning and design, notes to self in the future… focus on your home!

4. Do an internship! I’ve applied to go intern with the Mally family in Cedar Rapids IA this summer. If I am accepted, (which I am praying fervently that I am!!), I will gain experience in running a business, organizing conferences, leading ministry effectively and efficiently, and other little things like sharpening my initiative (living away from parent’s reminders to do my laundry, haha), improving budgeting, and smart grocery shopping. I will be living away from home, but it is with a very strong Christian family who will support what my parents have taught me and strengthen my walk with God, not tear down or mock. This is ideal! I have several friends who are going to internships this summer. A few are going to intern at the Michigan capitol as assistants to state house reps, one is going to the Associated Press for a photography course, one is going to work with a designer, one is going to live at his friend’s farm and learn farming all summer, and another is going to a local photography business and still living with his parents. There are so many internship opportunities out there, and the best news is, many of them are free or of little cost!

5. Read. Read. Read some more. Read again and again and again. Don’t’ just read anything. Read something that’s got something profitable in it. Then read it again. And again. Until you know the book so well you could explain the whole gist of it to another person. I re-read all of my hundreds of books at least three times through the whole year. (If I get accepted for that internship, I may haul a bunch out with me) I am always carrying a good book around with me. I started a book blog for that purpose:

6. Community college- You stay at home and attend classes during the day or evening. Most of the graduates from my church attend a community college, and it works well. The only downside is, you may have a prof who thinks you’re stupid because your faith. Since you are near to your parents and church, you’ll be able to go home and discuss possible rebuttals – easy!

7. Ellerslie School of Honor ~ This is like a Christian college without being a real college. There is no writing, math, or geography or whatever else ‘real colleges’ teach. Eric and Leslie Ludy teach you about living the Christian life and remaining set apart- it lasts for an entire semseter. I’d like to go here someday!

8. Summit Semester/Oxford ~ Study in Oxford or in CO, but this is a more academic semester for serious student who want to think. I know a couple people who’ve done this, and they said they started out asking a couple of questions every day- and left asking hundreds every day. It really got them thinking! Plus, the teachers often won’t give you straight answers, they direct you to a pile of books to bring yourself to a conclusion.

9. Rivendell Sanctuary~ This is relatively new, so you may want to check out their website. This is a basics course, and there are opportunities to study abroad. I’ve heard it’s like Summit Semester… only in Minnesota (no mountains?! oh man…)

10 Attend a lot of conferences throughout the year. Homeschooling conferences usually don’t care if you’re a graduate, and you can learn a lot about teaching kids just by sitting in on some of the parent’s sessions. I’ve always loved going to conferences, and this year, I’m going to Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincy.

11. Other online courses, like Vision Forum’s occasional writing courses. I didn’t participate in Mrs. Morecraft’s writing course, but I heard it was excellent!

12. DVDs~ Order as many DVD documentaries as you can, watch them all and take notes. Start with Answers in Genesis, then check out Vision Forum

13. CD’s Order as many CDs as you can. Tomorrow’s Forefathers has several great ones, as does Vision Forum. Listen to sermons and lectures online (a favorite pastime, I’ve learned so much!)

14. Read three or four different translations of the Bible together. See which one is most correct. The NIV Bible is actually no different than the Jehovah’s Witness Bible. The NIV just has footnotes. ESV, NKJV, KJV, and God’s Word Translation are good to compare. Write down the differences and see what changes have been made. You’ll never know when you’ll need to argue against some faulty idea.

15. Take advantage of any class your church may offer. Bible study? Attend it if you can! Nutrition or cooking? Go! Women’s prayer and fellowship? Give it a try! Don’t grow weary in going, even you think you may not learn anything. If possible, start a singles women group and discuss the book Sacred Singleness. Encourage others to overcome their false view of marriage and singleness, and serve together in your community. Make a quilt and send it to a missionary in Sudan or another refugee-filled place. I remember doing this with some friends before I knew what Sudan Christians were facing. Do something that counts!

There are a lot more options out there!

Read… and you will be educated…

Don’t Spill the Beans!

Most of us can say that we’ve had an experience where a friend divulges a huge secret. It hurts.

How Do We Respond?

1. Don’t get revenge or tell one of her secrets. If you hated what she did to you, then why make her hate your actions? Two wrongs do not make a right.

2. If your friend thinks it was harmful to keep the secret, ask her why. Think through your secret. Was it really doing harm to yourself or somebody else? (A friend was breaking curfew at college. Your middle school sister was trying drugs. You were planning to play a mean prank on your high school teacher)

3.  Tell her how you feel. Don’t make an appeal to pity, however. Focusing entirely on your emotions isn’t the right thing to do. Tell her morally why it wasn’t right to tell. Give her a reason why the secret should have been kept.  (It was my grandma’s surprise party. I didn’t want anyone to know about my A+ until Christmas)

4.  If the secret was about a boy, you should probably never tell anybody a guy related secret again. Talking about guys causes run-away thoughts. One minute, we’re talking about how we like his hair, the next, we’re fitting our first name with his last name. Don’t tell anybody who you have a crush on. If you feel you’re going to burst, (and you won’t), tell your cousin you rarely talk to, or your aunt in Alaska, or your dog. Or your cat. Or your pillow. It will save a lot of heartache and embarassment. These people usually do not tell on you.

5.  Be faithful in keeping important secrets, if any. At my house, we have a good secret to keep. This secret will bless some friends in the near future. This is the kind of secret to keep. I try not to keep random secrets, and if my friends say “Can you keep a secret?” I will usually say no. When I was younger, I used to go by the quote: “If I can’t tell my mom, you can’t tell me.” If the secret makes you blush at telling your mom,  don’t choose to hear it!

A  talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.  Proverbs 11:13

Be a faithful spirit.

In The Right Direction: Check Your Motives

Too much is focused on culture in our culture. That sounds confusing, but it’s true. Go eat this and go do that. Try this food, it’ll change your life. Buy your own {insert item of the day} and you’ll be cool. Wear this lipstick and your friends will want to emulate you.

You’ll be a star.

Supposedly.

A certain young lady I know has an addiction with culture’s low expectations and doesn’t know it. If only she  knew how much she could be doing if she left her comfort zone. She attempts to never wear the same thing twice, claims to have 200 pairs of shoes, recently got a laser treatment to permanently remove leg hair, has a tatoo, and has her belly button pierced. All for the sake of what our culture calls hot, trendy, and cool.

But she’s not famous. She’s still buying up the fashions left and right.

How come we’re still trying for fame, when we’ve bought the lipstick, ate the food, bought the {insert item of the day}, and did everything you were supposedly supposed to do?

All the culture expects us teen girls to do is buy their products, believe their psychobabble, and repeat. It’s a futile cycle of buy, savor for a bit, and a let down afterwards when we don’t get that promised fame. So we fall into the trap again. The culture has low expectations for us: and if we choose not to buy into the ideas they have set, we are mocked. Other times, we are praised. We’ve got to be careful when people praise us, but more on pride later.

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, my opinion is clear that low expectations bring us down (you taught me well, Harris twins ). Even if we have high goals for ourselves, others look down on us because we are young. Because we are going against culture. because most of our leaders like the world’s ways and thinking. Most friends agree with me that at some point, others- whether parents or friends or mentors- have brought us down because of their unconscious belief in low expectations. Their expectations are  ”Do just this small thing, and I’m satisfied.” Often we do one small thing, then go beyond and do another small thing, and get yelled at! Shouldn’t they be happy? We exceeded the standard.

We should always try to exceed the standard, not simply meet it.

These standards should be met happily and for God’s glory, not our own. It’s easy to stay humble when we admit our issues to others. When we try to get all the praise under our belts and problems occur. Things don’t go as smoothly. Deflecting praise and telling others God gives you the abilities is a great way to stop pride from even taking root. One of the things I feared the most when starting Bright Lights and other bible studies was becoming prideful of leadership status. I was afraid I would become a bit cocky- and there was a remedy for this! Befriending the girls. When you are true friends with somebody, you will not ‘lord’ over them. You share your thoughts with them in a discreet, loving way. I discussed this topic of pride with a woman over dinner once. People driven by culture will think of your ministry as silly. They will think you’re stuck up for choosing a higher road. We talked further into this idea. Does it really matter what they think? Not really, as long what you’re doing is Biblical. We discussed the possibility of fear. Maybe they are intimidated by your high standards? Nothing is wrong with high standards-as long as these standards are realistic and Biblical. If our motives are right, we figured God will bless.  As long as we fit that criteria, we should be able defeat the pride monster. In fact, other’s disapproval of complete devotion to Christ will come naturally. The Bible says the world (culture and it’s products) hated Christ before it hated us. Maybe that is the root of low expectations.

I can’t say I have no pride problem, we all have a good infusion of the old ego in us. It’s our nature. But we can suppress it by God’s grace.

In a nutshell:

a) deflect praise to God

b) tell others how you feel about something in a staright-forward and honest way (that’s being humble)

c) befriend those you may lord over

d) don’t let status go to your head (point b can help with that)

A Life of Service

Here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you today about ministry.  This week’s Bright Lights lesson is on developing a ministry, and I thought I’d share with you some of the things God has laid on my heart to teach the girls in my group.

~How to Serve Radiantly For God’s Glory – Not Your Own~

Begin practicing leadership: Leaders realize it’s not about them- it’s about serving others. Most people are followers- when there is somebody to show them what to do- they will follow. Leaders are noticed! “Leadership is the willingness to rise to the bottom.” This means that by lowering our status in this world, we are rising in our heavenly status- we have found favor with God. ‘The men who moved the world were the men the world would not move.’ Abraham Lincoln got that right! It basically means: Shape your culture. Don’t let it shape you!

 

 

Use your passion: Your passion is the thing you can not not do. Passion is doing what you love and can’t do without. Use it for God’s glory, not the praise of men. Take your passion captive under Christ’s headship – don’t let the passion captivate you.

 

 

Get a mentor to help you along the way: Proverbs 13:20~ He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. If you spend time with foolish people, you will also be foolish. Make sure your friends encourage you and help you. Talk often with older people in your church- they are full of pointers and counsel. A study actually showed that teens with mentors were more likely to be leaders – and successful ones at that! Abe Lincoln, Timothy from the Bible, and Theodore Roosevelt all had mentors- all became great men of God.

 

 Know what you’re doing and why: Understand why you are doing a certain ministry- and pray for direction where you’ll go next. “If you don’t care where you go, it doesn’t matter what road you take.” This is true: if you want to go to Texas, don’t go towards New York. Choose what way you should go carefully, and don’t stray off the path. Follow the Bible to the letter for guidance along the way.

 

 Model responsibility: Trust, respect for others, service, obedience, and willingness are all characteristics to have when serving. Self control is also important. If you decide to minister to a friend who has a problem with controlling her words, you shouldn’t give her help unless you have the quality of controlling your words!. If you can’t control yourself either and decide to give her help, this is called hypocrisy. Responsibility starts with truthfulness. Responsibility also harnesses ‘the excuse monster’ and takes the blame humbly. 

 

 

Things to remember when doing ministry~

God uses ordinary people to accomplish the extraordinary!

Smile!

Prayer must proceed ministry

Be under your father’s authority (Malachi 4:6, Proverbs 3)

Avoid all appearance of evil (Satan is bent on hurting our testimony)

Check your motives often and don’t proceed until they are right

Be enthusiastic- it’s contagious!

Set goals for your life- they get you farther!

Be sensitive to others and their needs more than your own. Jesus Others You

Demonstrate courage and initiative

Find security in the Lord, not people’s opinion (the fear of the Lord)

Be bold in speaking the truth in love

Be a good listener

Share the gospel when the opportunity arises

Be an example (dress modestly, watch your words, etc)

But I’m afraid…

What if the people don’t like me? What if I goof up the gospel? What if? What if? WHAT IF?!

Prayer- is so great! Fall on your knees before you begin ministry. Pray to thank Him afterwards. If He calls you to do His will, He will give you the strength you need. It should always go first before doing any type of service to the Lord. Pray before you help in a church activity. Even songs at church can become prayers. Really mean what you sing!

Fears are well-concealed lies- They are traps Satan puts into our way to trip us up. Once we see the lies for what they really are, we can quickly and wisely navigate our way around them.

 Speak and teach on subjects you care about. Do the ministry you have a passion for. Even when you don’t like what you’re doing, do it for God!

Simple ideas to get started:

 

An encouragement ministry~

Sending notes to widows, grieving families, new mothers, shut-ins, and those sick in the hospital

Give hugs often!

Singing ministry~

If your family is musical, sing at nursing homes, or get in touch with other musical families and sing together for a large family choir!

Do special music at church

Speaking ministry~

Do a Bible study with your friends

Prayer Ministry~

Pray for waiting children- for more info go to adoptuskids.org

Everyone is nervous when they start something new. Here is what I’ve learned so far on overcoming fear~

 

Waiting IS Hard…But Worth It

Maybe it’s all the Valentine’s Day decorations lined up in stores, or perhaps the sight of all your peers pairing off at school, but waiting for God’s timing to bring the one to you seems especially hard in the winter.

It often seems harder with that certain bunch of acquaintances- you know, the ones who all have a ‘special someone,’ well, all but you. The talk of “Oh, Laura, you’ll find him someday” coming from girls leaning on the arms of their boyfriends seems almost like mockery rather than encouragement! I know the feeling all too well. Even though I do not care for the boys “in that way” or know the girls too well, I sometimes wonder what goes on between couples I know when they are not in public. That’s when the contentment returns with my commitment to wait. Who knows how innocent these faces really are- maybe they do what they say they do, but perhaps, and most likely, they do not. How much of their heart have they given away? Have they given it all to that person- or do they still have some fragments to give to their spouse?

While in high school, marriage is a long way off yet- and a person has no business to pair off exclusively with just one person and spend time with them only. Christian girls should treat their brothers in Christ with respect- and as if they were somebody else’s husband! How would you like to think of your future husband dating another girl right now? At this very moment, he could be taking her out for a nice dinner, and handing her a gift, or maybe he’s surprising her at her last home game… hold it. If you know your husband was out there somewhere and behaving like that you would be quick to say you are very upset and disappointed with him! Once you realize this, you must also realize that he would be just as angry with you for doing the same thing. We should try our best to remain above reproach and not defraud the opposite gender, attraction or not.

You are what you think about. I’m sure you’d agree with that cliche. Convicted murderers and thieves were often found to have seriously thought about doing what they did in the months leading up to their crime(s). If you spend your days daydreaming about when you’ll meet Mr. Right and if it’ll be love at first sight, well, what will you most likely be doing all the time? Looking for him! The best way to find a life partner is not to search for him- but get ready for him! One doesn’t spend all their school years looking for a college to go to- they are spending time learning and studying: in preparation for college. Just as a student wouldn’t show up on their first day at Harvard not knowing their ABC’s and numbers, a bride wouldn’t show up to her wedding without knowing how to cook, clean, work with kids, and many, many other things. Think of your single years as a type of school to prepare you for marriage. Do things that will expand your comfort zones and help you grow.

When it seems like you can’t wait another day for him, and when you are sick of seeing double, just remember this: waiting is hard, but so worth it.

Recommended books you should read:

What He Must Be… If He Wants To Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham- - this book is meant for fathers, but it’s good idea for young women to read as they make their “lists.” Also, young men preparing for marriage should read this- as they should genuinely strive to become the man described in this book.

Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally-a great encouragement for any young lady committed to waiting for God’s best!

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Maturity- True or False?

 

As I’m writing this, there is a battle going on between me and a former friend. I called her last night to talk things over, and we went in circles and got nowhere fast. Sure, we yelled a little, and there was a noticeable edge in her voice, but I still want her for my friend. She kept bringing up complex, confusing reasons for not hanging out with me, ranging from “You’re ignoring me and twisting everything I say.” “I’m nearly 17, and in a little more than a year, I’ll be an adult, completely mature, and I like talking to older, mature people.” These older, “more mature” people that she has been hanging around are 17-20 years old. She has gone from happy with everyone, accepting them who they are, to a very inclusive, clique mentality. Even though she’s gained some friends by ‘expanding’ her circle, she’s actually losing old friends through the lie that anybody a little younger is childish. Her friends increase, yet the age gap is decreased.

 

 I can’t understand teens today who are peer dependent. They think that their circle extends to two or three years older than themselves, and a year younger. Nobody else can be allowed in, because if friends are younger, they’re considered immature. If they’re too old, you will be scolded for every little thing and you won’t be able to understand what they’re saying. This is what many teens think.

Last night after I hung up the phone and was thinking about what to do next, I realized something. As some of my other friends have been gone from church on long vacations, and I have had nobody my age to ‘hang around with,’ I expanded my horizons and went outside of my comfort zone. I ‘boldly’ went to talk with some of the older ladies in our church, and as a result have come to the conclusion that they are perfectly capable of being understood! They were quite helpful, sometimes unknowingly, and I’ve learned several new things about God, the Bible, and some practical life ideas. If I’d been spending my time like I used to with just my 13 through 17-year-old friends, I would never had been able to talk with these older, wiser people! I’ve also begun to play with some of the really little kids at my church, ages 3-7. I enjoy talking with them! They ask a wide variety of questions, (“How tall are you?“ to “When did you ask Jesus into your heart?”), and they appreciate the attention! I’ve really broadened my horizons just in a few months. Amazing how many special moments and opportunities teen miss; all because they have concluded that they are too old to “stoop” to preschoolers through middle schoolers. Yet they ‘think’ they can’t understand what the elders are trying to tell them!

It’s amazing how many teens think that being cool and popular is the #1 priority in life. Well, wake up! Welcome to the real world where you interact with everyone. Imagine if this mentality hit all over American churches and society. Let’s say your 60-year-old pastor doesn’t want to counsel anybody who isn’t as old as he is, so anybody 55 years or younger must get help else where. See how crazy this would be?! But teens are buying it, and making it almost their philosophy.

Another thing I have noticed in our teenage group, anybody who actually does go off and interacts with older or younger people as well as the youth group slowly begins to get ‘disowned’ or left out more from conversations. Why? Simply because that person decided to rock the boat.

Consider this: the topics most often talked about in our youth group before and after church are-

1. Facebook

2. A cell phone or texting conversation that happened within the past week.

3. A song or movie, or a star-related story.

4. School, not the knowledge gained, but a funny or embarrassing moment that usually happened to someone else

5. A story (usually not very nice) targeting an absent group member.

 

Now, notice the phrases from conversations I’ve had with the older ladies-

1. Prayer and ministry go hand in hand, and you should have both.

2. Being involved with younger children in the church is great practice for when you eventually get married and have your own.

We’ve also talked about cooking, what our favorite hymns and verses are, and everyday common sense housekeeping tips.

After hearing what teens talk about most of the time, I can begin to imagine what would happen if you took a culture-popularity obsessed teen and pulled him or her over to one of these truly mature conversations. This has happened once in the past, I was talking about my purity ring with a former youth leader. One of the bubbly young ladies standing nearby said, “Oh yeah, did I tell you the Jonas Brothers wear purity rings?” Totally beside the point here!

Everything that teens seem to talk about is media and fashion. They link anything and everything to stars and media.  It’s not only separating them from the body of Christ, it’s the cause of sin. Most of the time they don’t even realize it! Thinking about who’s wrote on your Facebook wall recently or telling everyone that Zac Efron answered your fan letter with a real signature isn’t going to make you more grown up- except to the people who are just like you. They will lift you up and think you’re cool because of your mutual idea of what being mature is. It’s all about the stuff to many teens. It should be about how much you can understand. No amount of stuff, schooling, friends, or video games will make you grown up. You’ve got to grasp the subject at hand and know it more than at the surface. One of my former youth leaders always said, “You’ve got to know why you’re doing something, and how to do it well. Nothing is simply 1-D, everything has so many sides and you should try your best to know them all and approach it from a biblical viewpoint.” Wise advice, huh? I guess most teens who heard that took it to heart in the wrong way. They take it and transform, twist, and tangle it into something that will apply to what they like- without having to give up sinful habits. They justify their 99% ME ME ME Facebook page by saying, “Hey, I post a Bible verse every other week. So my page isn’t all bad.” Well, good never can outweigh the bad, and that should apply to Facebook, too. 1% good never justifies anything that is entirely bad otherwise. No gray areas. Posting pictures of ME “>ME ME ME every time something “exciting” happens to you is selfish. Talking about ME ME ME in your discussions is selfish. Selfishness is sin. The root of selfishness is pride.

Decide today to make a good decision when you go to church. Make a goal to talk with the piano player if you like music, ask how he or she began to develop their ministry or ask them if they could teach you a few things. If you know of a family that has a lot of small children, go to the kids and offer to play with them and ask them about school, their favorite things, etc. You’ll be surprised to see how they look up to you, which will make you more motivated to live right. Tell your pastor three specific things you liked or learned from his sermon. Ask older ladies for advice on a general problem you’ve been struggling with. My church has a lot of wise women who are solid prayer warriors. They tell me right out that they are praying for me, which is encouraging when I feel discouraged.

Choose to grow up, and don’t become an ‘in-between teen’ who isn’t sure which world to choose. Choose to be truly mature, even if those who don’t realize what being grown up is forsake you. God will hold you up in his hand no matter who you choose to spend your time with. You’ll find that ‘old’ people aren’t that bad at all. They’re great!

Amazing how much good can come out of something thatat first seemed altogether bad!

1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.