‘Live With Purpose’ (a tidbit of Chapter 1 of my book)

How often do we think ‘September thoughts’? “Since the school year is starting, I will do ____” or “I can have 30 weeks to study ____ a little bit more.” It’s easy to think we can let our schedules and circumstances determine our life; to help our future along. It’s like living on autopilot: letting social life, full calendars, games, appointments, and homework become our purpose for living. And for us college women and beyond, it’s easy to think housework and college and chores is all that’s worth living for.

These activities are all worthy and many are necessary to living. Chores need to be completed. Homework must be finished. Doctors need to be seen. Teeth need to be filled. It’s life.

But, when we start to look to our calendars to determine what’s next, our lives are set to live on autopilot. And when a huge change comes (like graduation, for example), we aren’t sure what we’re supposed to do. We feel lost, like our social life has been stripped away; we feel like we have no reason to exist: like we have no purpose… like God has taken everything we liked to do away!

I confess I used to live on autopilot. Looking to the next thing on the list to determine what I should do. It is how we young single women start to feel discontent when we’re 18 or 21 or 30 and not married- or even seeing anyone. We’re too used to everything coming at us in an orderly fashion, being in control of our lives. When things like a job, marriage, or college don’t come our way, the discontentment sets in.

In reality, God is not taking anything away from us. WE are living without purpose.

“Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You.” Saint Augustine

So often, we’re caught up in living life to simply live life, we forget what we’re here for. We were made for God, not the next big thing! It is only when we live for God do we genuinely begin live vibrantly, wholly, and fully.

How do we do that?

Well… that’s what my book is all about!

Hyper-patriarchy vs. Biblical-patriarchy

Hyperpatriarchy is a type of demanding fatherhood and husband-hood ( ) that requires nothing less than exact obedience all the time- even on minute issues. Hyperpatriarchs like to dictate what his daughters and wife wear, what they do, and where they go. They like to be in complete control and have the final say. They often ignore what their family has to say and go with what they want.

Reading an independent-fundamental-Baptist-Reformed local magazine for women that somehow ended up on my desk; I was shocked at the articles on submitting to your husband/father. Some quotes from this magazine:

“You must let a man be man. (nothing wrong with that) If you interfere with any situation, even if it is sin, better to leave him alone for fear of ruining his testimony.” (Sounds faintly of Muslim honor and strongly of letting someone live knowingly in sin)

“When a woman shares her opinion, she is sharing the true heart within her. This nasty heart in manipulative and wants to see her husband’s ruin. Better to keep her mouth shut.” (So women cannot share opinions wit their husbands???)

“Your husband did not have to marry you. Do not complain about his strictness in keeping you in when he goes out. Being married is enough for him, why push him to do something you want when it is his turn to have fun?” (It’s the woman’s fault he’s angry/disinterested in her?)

I agree with being thankful for what we have, letting men be men, and that the human heart is sick. But when a woman has no say whatsoever, has to live in fear for her husband’s spiritual well being (because she can’t call him out on sin); and has to avoid dealing with even petty problems… that’s hyperpatriarchy.

I was accused once of being a victim of hyperpatriarchy. I bought a lovely maxi-dress recently at a store called Forever 21. I tried to wear it to church the next Sunday; and dad ended up telling me he didn’t like the cut. It emphasized the wrong parts of my body, and he didn’t want that at all. (“Not even a hint” as I like to put it) I really wanted to wear the dress, but obeyed. At church, my friend asked if I was wearing the dress I’d bought. I said “No” and explained the situation. She shook her head and said “That’s no way to live. Your dad is a total hyperpatriarch…”

Let’s take a look at Biblical patriarchy:

Christ is masculine. God is masculine. God so loved the world…HE… gave HIS SON. God is also the ruler of everything, but a gentle one at that. He doesn’t want harm to come to us, but sometimes obedience can cause suffering in some way from others. God is not a cruel taskmaster. He very nature is love. Christ is love. The man of the house represents Christ.  Both man and woman are made in God’s image and are both called to exercise dominion over the earth. They share an equal worth as persons before God in creation and redemption. The man is also the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man. (Gen. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 11:3,7; Eph. 5:28; 1 Pet. 3:7) God has also ordained gender roles. Adam already had headship over Eve before sin entered the world. (Gen. 2:18)

God has placed authority of fathers and husbands to be useful and good in direction family. There is a limit on a man’s power. He must be in the Lord. When a man is outside of God’s will or word, he is not leading well. When in sin, there is hardship for the man to lead. The same goes for a woman when she will not submit. A man’s authority should be exercised with grace and love as a servant, priest, and leader; following the example of Jesus Christ. Leadership is a stewardship from God. (Mal. 3:17; Ps. 103:13; Col. 3:21; 1 Pet. 3:7) A man should also be subject to the laws of the government. (Romans 13) The man and wife, (and hence kids) should also submit to each other and respect opinions, tastes, and views, as long as they are of the word.

The woman is called to be keeper at home- meaning she is to run the household in domestic affairs: cooking, cleaning, teaching kids (primarily- I want my husband to be fully committed to teaching our kids at home and pray he would want to take part in that); basically becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman every day. This doesn’t mean she can’t “have a job”  it simply means her #1 priority should be home. My mom is really a Proverbs 31 woman! My mom and I have a business of sorts- every Tuesday we make 14 dozen cookies and my dad sells them at work. It’s extra income. It’s “working willingly with our hands”. My mom gets up early to start the laundry and she often stays up late to finish things. She is known for her artistic ability (especially working on VBS decorations, where she happens to be right now), her cooking, her get up and go spirit. People at church talk about her highly. She is frugal with our money, so much so, we have surplus of things. That frugality leads us to never do without (we are the thrift store junkies, but we have the nicest, largest, CHEAPEST wardrobes around, I’d say) I could go on, but you probably get the point. She is very submissive to Dad, her hubby, whom she’s been married to for over 20 years. Aww…

*ahem*

Father/husbands should oversee the family well; and do so biblically, gently, and firmly. He must also realize that everyone has an opinion, and his opinion may not line up the wife’s or kids’.

Now, back to the story I was telling about the dress. If my dad would have said “I don’t like that pattern on you, it looks outdated…” It would have been a matter of personal preference, and hyper-patriarchy if he told me to obey immediately without protest. But since he directly said “I don’t like the cut of the top part and how it draws attention to your bust,” I knew right away what exactly was wrong- and that it wasn’t right. Since my dad noticed something I’d overlooked completely, I figured the other guys at church would probably notice, too. I didn’t want to “accidentally” ”entice” a dude when I knew I shouldn’t be even wearing something enticing. And, since the Bible tells us women to be modest and cover up what should be covered ,-and I knew I shouldn’t cause any brother in Christ to lose sight of Christ if I could help it- I decided to do what I knew was right. I changed my outfit.

So, was my dad a hyperpatriarch or a biblical patriarch?

You can’t expect to submit to your husband one day if you can’t submit to your dad now. It’s not always going to be that BIG thing. It will more than likely be a small thing.

A Standard For Encouraging and Dealing With Guys

I’d like to share with you some resources I just added to my library.

Preparing to Be a Helpmeet ~ Debi Pearl  Talks of types of guys, types of girls, and what each type should do to prepare for the guy she will most likely catch.

Answering the Guy Questions (hereafter refered to as “ATGQ”) by Leslie Ludy was an amazing book! It is a quick read, so this book is good for people who want to look at a topic and run off.

Also, “What Our Father Taught Us About Boys” (a CD by the Botkin sisters) is another helpful resource.

All three opened my eyes to how much girls and guys are alike- and how they are so very different, too.

 Boys are people too.  “This may sound funny,” as Anna Sophia said in the CD, “but it is true.”

 We often go from one extreme to the other when it comes to dealing with boys. There are boys I know who are very forward with me, and sometimes I walk away from a conversation wondering “Should I have said that?” and other times I walk away thinking “I wish I had said a lot more.” Other boys I have no reason to talk to, and after awhile, I just began to ignore them. These situations are both wrong. I want to apply some basic principles:

>Do dress nicely, modestly, and stylishly, but not FOR them. ATGQ talks of respecting their future wives and your future husband by keeping hidden what should be hidden. And remember, if there are many guys there, there are many future wives, too. Don’t expect anything until you are of marriagable age and the guy has asked for your hand through your dad!

>Don’t chatter mindlessly. Guys understand you more than you think. According to Preparing to Be A Helpmeet, they are always watching and listening; even if not for romantic purposes. They will know you by your words. Discontinue fillers, crude slang, and random chatter about yourself.

Don’t EVER manipulate. For example: Angela likes Kyle, but Kyle doesn’t think Angela would make a very good wife. He is not interested. But, Angela, seeing him ignore her is not acceptable. She wants him to notice her and sets up a date trap to get him alone with her in her car. This led to other things, and Kyle didn’t really want Angela in the first place. This is called defrauding. The girl was taking what was not hers, doing things she had no business doing, and initiating things when it was not her place.

This action is not only displeasing to God, but it reflects badly on you. Manipulative women are pushy, and once married, will push their husbands. Read Proverbs 7 for more about a wicked, manipulative woman.

Don’t ignore them. I have a knack for doing this, and it frustrates me! Even if guys are being pushy, greet them with a quiet smile, and if annoyed, let them or others do the talking so you don’t explode or pour mindless chatter on them. I was recently followed around almost everywhere by a certain guy. I’d be walking, then turn around and there he was. I’d feel goosebumps on my neck and he’d be watching me intently from several hundred yards away. When I finally bumped into him face to face, my mom was with me, and she was able to do the talking. Thank goodness for parents and the chance to apply the truths right away!

I hope you will consider these resources and add them to your library! They are priceless, and they could change your life.  Remember our highest goal is not to snag a gent, or to please the guys in our lives; it’s about becoming a woman who is worth “far above rubies”. (See Proverbs 31:10-31)

Oh Joy! Quotes and Notes!

~~Little Paragraphs and Deep Thoughts, Big Facts and Scrawly Notes That Churn ’Round In My Noggin~~

“Legalism is merely the futile attempt to do in our own strength what the Spirit of God means to accomplish on our own behalf.” ~ Leslie Ludy Set Apart Femininity

The form in which ideas are expressed affects what those ideas will be. (The MEDIUM is the METAPHOR) ~ Neil Postman Amusing Ourselves To Death

If you asked 2o good men today what they though was the highest of the virtues, 19 of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christains of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philosophical importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not of primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian view of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  ~ CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

It is a sin to be dumb! ~ John Stonestreet- Summit lecture

A real woman is a woman who recognizes that she has been exquisitely and perfectly created by a loving God for a unique purpose. Out of geniune gratitude, awe and a desire to please her Maker, a real woman joyfully embraces her femininity and submits every aspect of her identy to God’s original and unique design for her…Unlike feminists, we know God’s design for women. This gives us the upper hand. Will we use it? ~ Elizabeth Botkin So Much More

America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within. ~ Josef Stalin (from the opening of the documentary, Agenda) And what’s happening in our world???

The flood of rampant homosexuality will not ruin a nation. Why? Because rampant homosexuality is a sign that the nation is already ruined! ~ John Stonstreet Summit lecture

Godly womanhood, the very plance sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other type of woman: beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women. But seldom do we hear of godly women- or of a godly man either, for that matter. We believe women come nearer to fulfilling their God-given funtion in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife, than to be Miss America. It is a greater acheivement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old fashioned, than to be ultra modern, The world has enough womee who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs women who are pure. We need women, and men too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct. ~ Peter Marshall

When God’s Spirit is given His rightful place in a young woman’s life, He transforms her personality to reflect His beauty… He can overtake any kind of personality. . .You decrease, so that He might increase…~  Leslie Ludy The Lost Art of True Beauty      (This book was a great book for me. I tend towards shy, and for the first time, I realized I could go outside of myself- types are just types… but I recently went to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp to take a personality test anyway. The test revealed my weaknesses and strengths. I am an INTJ – Which type are you?)

The Baha’i faith believes in one God, but there are many ways to seek/experience God. Minimize theological differences and work together for harmony of faiths, freeing slaves and seeking justice. Affirmative action. Socail Justice. Service to humanity is highest goal. Baha’i believes in one God in one person- unitarian theism- it’s roots are in Islam, but they also accept YAH, Jesus, and Brahma as the same person- these are just other names. ~Len Woods      (Is the new Zach Hunter “Be the Change” movement founded in Baha’i? Whether he knows it or not, unknowingly, yes. The affirmative action movement is combining various religions to do things in God’s name. Is there a way to do hard things the wrong way? Yes! Baha’i followers will be among those to whom God will say “Depart… I never knew you…” Pluralism is one of the worst of the false worldviews).

To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward event. The best informed man is not necessarily the wisest. The wise man will seek to acquire the best knowledge- to recognize the significance in the factual is wisdom. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer (He is a good writer, and I like his “Cost of Discipleship”, though his theology on salvation was messed up…)

“We live in a dictatorship of relativism… what people say and do becomes normal, but not right.” ~Scott Klusendorf.

“Waiting for Godot is the Humanist’s dream. It’s about two guys waiting for a friend who never comes. Notice what the friend’s name is… GODot.” John Stonestreet on Beckett plays. (Seriously, look them up. They are hopeless)

“For I seek not to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order I can understand, study, and learn. “

Ideas have history, they come from somewhere. Ideas have feet, they will go somewhere. Ideas have consequences: they will do something to you or for you. Doc Noebel

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out it has no meaning. Just as if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would have no meaning. ~ CS Lewis

In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair. The sin that believes in nothing cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, remains for nothing, and has nothing for which it will live for or die. ~Dorothy Sayers (Sounds like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World- a place so hedonist and so limited by… love)

This so-called tolerance is nothing but a huge indifference.  ~Alexis de Tocqueville

“We are all part of one. Intellect is error…” ~Bhagwhan Shree Rajneesh - (Haha If we are all part of ‘one’, how did we get away from that oneness into many religions? Just asking, Mr. Rajneesh)

Sloppy language makes sloppy thought possible. ~Michael Bauman

Be the first you, not the second me. Education is learning to think, indoctrination is teaching you how to think. ~Michael Bauman.

The probability of life originating from an accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a print shop. ~ Edwin Conklin

He that knows nothing will believe anything.

If God wants to use you, he wants to use the real you. Not the person you want to be. God doesn’t use imaginary people. He wants you to be who He made you. Christians should not feel guilty by this… they are fogiven. What we feel is conviction.  Rowan Gillson (IPS)

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Read as many books as you can- I often wander the aisles of the library and pull of non-fiction books, take them home, and read them completely. You’ll never know how much you can know until you start to learn.

Stay At Home Daughter

Part One

  People won’t like the fact you are going to live at home until you marry.

Fact.

Expect their disapproval, but don’t be discouraged by it.

Prepare answers!

  There’s a passel of myths swirling around the church community and abroad, tricking people into thinking our time at home is a time of… laziness. Unless a stay at home daughter is making no contributions to the family household whatsoever, this daughter is not wasting her time at all. People at church grill me almost every week because, well, I’m weird. And weird (to them) means sheltered, narrow-minded, stupid, and maybe even lazy. Some of the questions I’m asked are:

  “Don’t you want to have a life?” “Do you feel like your parents are forcing this on you?” “What about college? Do you mean you aren’t going away?” “Maybe you’re just afraid of the real world.” “Why not move out and get an apartment when you’re graduated?” “What if you’re dad and mom die?” “Maybe your parents are making you do this because they know you’re not ready and are naïve?” “How can you say you like living at home?” “Don’t you want to learn life skills?” “You won’t know what’s new in technology and in the culture if you’re not in it!” “What? You’re graduated/graduating?” “What about socialization?!”

  I’d like to attempt to destroy these myths and give you an idea of how to go about answering similar questions that may be asked of you.

  “Don’t you want to have a life?”

I usually laugh, because I find this question forthright and hilarious. I ask them to define “life” and what “life” entails. Remember: the battle over ideas is a battle over the definition of words- when words lose their meaning, people lose their lives (and debates). Life, to them, is a fun-filled, outing based, social time where a girl spends her single time growing socially, shirking her duties at home. “Life” means that I should not be ‘stuck’ inside a house all day. “Life” is all about me!

  Life, in God’s definition is serving others, learning all I can before some guy steals me from my mom and dad , and getting a grasp on reality: LIFE is not about FUN, is not FAIR, or is of things FRIVOLOUS, nor is it based on crammed social agendas! My mom told me recently that life is not about the next great thing to look forward to: it’s about looking forward to the next thing God tells you to do. How true.

 “Do you feel like your parents are forcing you to do this?”

Not at all. My dad is really one who says “Whatever you do is fine, honey,” in most situations. He would not force me to do anything- unless it is something that I would benefit from, like sticking out a class at a co-op, or when I was younger eating all my veggies. My mom likes loves to see me carry out my convictions and obey the Holy Spirit. She is full of guidance, and is definitely one of my best friends; but I came to discover the idea of Stay at Home Daughterhood by myself, through reading.

 After being at home for so long, they assume your parents have an attachment problem and will not let you go! You can help this by one verbal move; but it is hard to make someone change their mind about you.

Simply speak of your commitments as your own. Don’t say “My dad wants me to wear skirts.” “My mom doesn’t want me to go to this activity.” Make your commitments your own. “I prefer skirts, they are more modest.” “That activity would not benefit me.” This will erase the idea of “bondage” into parents passing on convictions, or a ”teach them to your children” outlook, or even “indoctrination”. Proving the commitments are accepted and fine by your book doesn’t make your parents look like captors.

Suggested resource list-(do in order )

1. Read: So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Listen to the CD by these girls: Strength and Dignity for Daughters

Watch: Return of The Daughters

2. Joyfully at Home by Jasmine Baucham (I really like this book, I apparently have a lot in common with Jasmine, so it really really hit home for me)

Watch: Dominion Oriented Daughters (Geoffrey Botkin)

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I, again, ask those who are leaving book-long comments meant to stir up rabble rousers for the convention to S-T-O-P.

This is our family’s final year @ Midwest Homeschool Convention (unless they invite Ken Ham next year and allow AiG to display in the exhibition hall…). I’m excited to be going (though bittersweet, because of the grim events happening concerning AiG). I will be posting pictures and notes over the weekend, so be sure to check back!

Pressure To Be “Smart” and “Successful”

A good education [through books, documentary, magazines, sermons, teachers, elders, and the like] provokes thought.

The teachers don’t think for you.

They don’t shove watered down indoctrination down your throat.

They let you do the thinking.

They let you decide for yourself what conclusion makes sense.

If you’re not asking good questions, you’re not thinking. If you’re not thinking, you’re not getting educated.

It’s that simple.

Colleges really don’t care if you exit their campus  with knowledge. They want your money and your heart sitting obediently in their laps. Universities divide and conquer by belittling, student “organizations” and the coveted A… which is only placed on the papers that spit back what your professor told you.

Colleges are out to indoctrinate you- they aren’t big promoters of free thinking and speech. Look at all the colleges that have hate speech codes! The college campus is a dictatorship of relativism, a horrible dominion or atheism, with a whatever floats your boat, goes. {exception: Christianity} You won’t find the dean very sympathetic to your complaints of low grades on biology papers. They won’t tolerate your ‘intolerance’ (which, by the way,  is intolerance).

The University was once a pinnacle point to be if you wanted to become a thinker… a free thinker… but now, they are places for liberals to produce minions,  the young to learn Communist doctrine, and a haven evolution studies.  If you think about the whole open-minded, tolerant issue, they are the ones that are narrow minded and intolerant!

Because we hold college so high on our list of great things to do, success becomes synonymous with a piece of parchment with words that mean “Sue Public is educated.”

Let me tell you about some people who didn’t attend university, but became great leaders, thinkers, and speakers. Some of these people have character that is amiable, people I’d like to be like…

Abraham Lincoln~ Even though he started the whole tax thing, the admirable Mr. Lincoln’s fight against slavery and steadfast faith in God is what got him to the Civil War Presidency.  Not a degree. President Lincoln was a first rate speech giver, though quiet and thoughtful by nature.  This man self taught himself trigonometry and algebra, and simply read books to become a lawyer. That’s thinking.

Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin~ Homeschooled authors of So Much More, co-stars of Return of the Daughters and Homeschool Dropouts did not attend college.

Andrew Jackson~  This US president was homeschooled and taught himself law, made it to congress, and was a judge.

Ben Franklin ~ A little eccentric in his style, Ben Franklin never went to school! His mother and father taught him, later on he learned through discussion with the people in his city.

Christopher Columbus~ Be thankful that this guy had the initiative to studiy maps and geography, figures and languages, because without that, he might not ever had made it the “Indies”. Perhaps we would be European? Though he didn’t discover America, as the fable tells us, he did discover the fact of another continent.

Henry Ford~ He didn’t invent the car, but he did invent the assembly line. This man who grew up just miles from my house didn’t even think to go to college, and studied human actions and time saving qualities until he came up with the assembly line!

Joyce C Hall~ Started Hallmark Cards after spending his time working odd jobs to supplement the family’s income. His faith in God propelled him to step out in faith selling cards… and eventually he started the business. He never went to college, but studied some business on the side

Rachael Ray ~ Though she annoys me to kingdom come, it is amazing that she never went to college, attended culinary school, or took a formal cooking class. She taught herself.

Sarah Mally~ Founded Bright Lights, a discipleship group for girls; leads Strong in the Lord Conferences; and wrote a book. Never went to college, and the same with her brother and sister, whom she wrote another book with.

Thomas Edison~  This guy was homeschooled, and worked on the railroad at age 12. Studied subjects that interested him, which developed into the invention of the movie camera, lightbulb, and others.

There are so many more degree-less people out there who are just as smart (or smarter) than those with degrees!

Going off to college is actually not Biblical. Sure, young adults back in the day went to a group learning session or two a week, but it didn’t require them learning away from home and living at the school. They came and went and weren’t required to believe everything that their teachers did. The teachers were elders who were wise, skilled, and old: with lots of experience behind them. This is the best kind of teaching! If they wanted to learn specifics, they did live with a relaitve or dear friend who knew a lot about the subject at hand.  Don’t leave your father’s house to go live in a place full of deceivers and mockers. Why should a Christian girl purposely immerse herself with these kind of people?

There are alternatives to going to live on a college campus. Here are some things that help you gain knowledge the right way!

1. College Plus ~ a system that I am planning to do once I graduate this spring. This is an online course through Thomas Edison State and Bryan Colleges. Using CLEP tests and distance learning, you stay at home and work through your own pace. I’ve heard of some people who get their degree by age 15, 16 or before they graduate! When I first heard that, I was shocked, thinking “But they are too young!”

That is the wrong kind of thinking. Just because you’re 18 it doesn’t make you magically ready for higher learning! That is the Darwinian view that “young can’t understand because they haven’t evolved…so we need different levels- segregated by knowledge…” or the Communist view of “divide and weaken, then conquer…” (This is why churches have 5th grade Sunday school, 4th grade Sunday school… break up the family, weaken the church) Age doesn’t equal smarts!

2. Ask to have an elder, wise person to write down things that they wished they’d known at your age. This is very helpful. There are a lot of older ladies at my church who randomly give me great (and I mean GREAT) advice! Our church has a mentoring ministry for older to teach the younger. Though I think parents should teach the topics, I think it’s nice for those who have families who won’t teach their kids. Some topics our church covers are: canning, sewing/mending, knitting/crocheting, mechanics, gardening, cooking/baking, home repair, etc.

3. Start a home journal with recipes, ideas for cleaning and design, notes to self in the future… focus on your home!

4. Do an internship! I’ve applied to go intern with the Mally family in Cedar Rapids IA this summer. If I am accepted, (which I am praying fervently that I am!!), I will gain experience in running a business, organizing conferences, leading ministry effectively and efficiently, and other little things like sharpening my initiative (living away from parent’s reminders to do my laundry, haha), improving budgeting, and smart grocery shopping. I will be living away from home, but it is with a very strong Christian family who will support what my parents have taught me and strengthen my walk with God, not tear down or mock. This is ideal! I have several friends who are going to internships this summer. A few are going to intern at the Michigan capitol as assistants to state house reps, one is going to the Associated Press for a photography course, one is going to work with a designer, one is going to live at his friend’s farm and learn farming all summer, and another is going to a local photography business and still living with his parents. There are so many internship opportunities out there, and the best news is, many of them are free or of little cost!

5. Read. Read. Read some more. Read again and again and again. Don’t’ just read anything. Read something that’s got something profitable in it. Then read it again. And again. Until you know the book so well you could explain the whole gist of it to another person. I re-read all of my hundreds of books at least three times through the whole year. (If I get accepted for that internship, I may haul a bunch out with me) I am always carrying a good book around with me. I started a book blog for that purpose:

6. Community college- You stay at home and attend classes during the day or evening. Most of the graduates from my church attend a community college, and it works well. The only downside is, you may have a prof who thinks you’re stupid because your faith. Since you are near to your parents and church, you’ll be able to go home and discuss possible rebuttals – easy!

7. Ellerslie School of Honor ~ This is like a Christian college without being a real college. There is no writing, math, or geography or whatever else ‘real colleges’ teach. Eric and Leslie Ludy teach you about living the Christian life and remaining set apart- it lasts for an entire semseter. I’d like to go here someday!

8. Summit Semester/Oxford ~ Study in Oxford or in CO, but this is a more academic semester for serious student who want to think. I know a couple people who’ve done this, and they said they started out asking a couple of questions every day- and left asking hundreds every day. It really got them thinking! Plus, the teachers often won’t give you straight answers, they direct you to a pile of books to bring yourself to a conclusion.

9. Rivendell Sanctuary~ This is relatively new, so you may want to check out their website. This is a basics course, and there are opportunities to study abroad. I’ve heard it’s like Summit Semester… only in Minnesota (no mountains?! oh man…)

10 Attend a lot of conferences throughout the year. Homeschooling conferences usually don’t care if you’re a graduate, and you can learn a lot about teaching kids just by sitting in on some of the parent’s sessions. I’ve always loved going to conferences, and this year, I’m going to Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincy.

11. Other online courses, like Vision Forum’s occasional writing courses. I didn’t participate in Mrs. Morecraft’s writing course, but I heard it was excellent!

12. DVDs~ Order as many DVD documentaries as you can, watch them all and take notes. Start with Answers in Genesis, then check out Vision Forum

13. CD’s Order as many CDs as you can. Tomorrow’s Forefathers has several great ones, as does Vision Forum. Listen to sermons and lectures online (a favorite pastime, I’ve learned so much!)

14. Read three or four different translations of the Bible together. See which one is most correct. The NIV Bible is actually no different than the Jehovah’s Witness Bible. The NIV just has footnotes. ESV, NKJV, KJV, and God’s Word Translation are good to compare. Write down the differences and see what changes have been made. You’ll never know when you’ll need to argue against some faulty idea.

15. Take advantage of any class your church may offer. Bible study? Attend it if you can! Nutrition or cooking? Go! Women’s prayer and fellowship? Give it a try! Don’t grow weary in going, even you think you may not learn anything. If possible, start a singles women group and discuss the book Sacred Singleness. Encourage others to overcome their false view of marriage and singleness, and serve together in your community. Make a quilt and send it to a missionary in Sudan or another refugee-filled place. I remember doing this with some friends before I knew what Sudan Christians were facing. Do something that counts!

There are a lot more options out there!

Read… and you will be educated…

We Should Never Cause A Guy To Stumble

Hey! This is another scheduled post! I wonder what I’m doing right now at Summit. I’ll bet I’m having the time of my life right now!

Of course, I may be bored out of mind, too…

But anyway…

Today, I’m writing about guys again.

How we dress affects others. (Wow! All new information, Laura! Way to go!…not). This should be ingrained in our heads by now! But how often do we put knowledge into practice? Not often.

I’ve seen too many girls say they’re for modesty and later walk by guys with low cut shirts and too tight jeans. Guys notice things. Things as in body parts under your low cut shirt and too tight jeans. They aren’t paying attention to the embellishment on your shirt. They aren’t blind! We shouldn’t dress like we don’t know they’re looking, because deep down inside, we know they are. We become hypocritical and think of what ‘he’ would think of you if you wore this or that outfit. That’s not modesty- that’s manipulation.  

We should never cause a guy to stumble because of what we’re wearing. If that means throwing out your size 10′s and exchanging them for looser 12′s, do it. If it’s donating that cute, new, yet low cut shirt from Aeropostale, go for it! It honors God to be modest, and it will please your future husband. I personally choose not to get anything from Abercrombie and Fitch because of the posters on the store walls. I don’t want to wear things associated with that store’s reputation.

Purposeful immodesty is actually like flirting (see flirting post below). Instead of words and actions, you’re using clothes to ‘lure’ that guy to you. Manipulation!

Now, I’m also not saying that we should live in fear, wondering if this shirt or that skirt is going to cause a guy to be offended. We sometimes can’t control what others thnk of us. (whoa, let’s do that again)

We can NEVER control what others think of us.

But you get credit for trying!

Have any of you ever made the commitment to not offend a guy by your dress? I’d be delighted to hear from you.

I Know Where I’m Supposed to Be This Summer!

Most of us make some kind of exciting summer plan. Get a job at Frosty Boy, go to the West Coast, maybe go to camp…

Well, I am planning on attending summer camp at Summit in Wisconsin. This camp is a worldview training course spread over 2 weeks. It has a lot of good teaching- and a pretty hefty price tag for the session: $895.

I decided to give up my much loved ballet and Pointe classes on my senior year- for two weeks that would last for eternity. I knew where I needed to be- even if it meant giving up something I love. So, I sent in my application knowing the Holy Spirit was directing me to attend. I wasn’t surprised (just extremely happy… well… I was going nuts ) when, a few days ago I received my letter of acceptance.

Here’s the great thing:

The IRS just sent us a notice saying my dad had filled out a few places on his return wrong (which he can’t figure out WHERE I wonder why? ;-) ) and that they were sending us $828 within 4-6 weeks. I was very surprised to hear this coming- especially in the middle of May of all times! Then a thought struck me: I had saved around $66 dollars for camp and any other expenses that came up.  My brain whizzed! Could it be? I pulled out the calculator (because 2+2 is 4 and that’s all I know, haha) and added numbers. My money and the check combined? $894. Oh, and I got another dollar today.

“God? Could you be any clearer?! Thank you!”

If God wants you to be somewhere, He’ll make sure you get there.

PS: My dad said I could do ballet and pointe next year! What a blessing! What a joy!

A Life of Service

Here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you today about ministry.  This week’s Bright Lights lesson is on developing a ministry, and I thought I’d share with you some of the things God has laid on my heart to teach the girls in my group.

~How to Serve Radiantly For God’s Glory – Not Your Own~

Begin practicing leadership: Leaders realize it’s not about them- it’s about serving others. Most people are followers- when there is somebody to show them what to do- they will follow. Leaders are noticed! “Leadership is the willingness to rise to the bottom.” This means that by lowering our status in this world, we are rising in our heavenly status- we have found favor with God. ‘The men who moved the world were the men the world would not move.’ Abraham Lincoln got that right! It basically means: Shape your culture. Don’t let it shape you!

 

 

Use your passion: Your passion is the thing you can not not do. Passion is doing what you love and can’t do without. Use it for God’s glory, not the praise of men. Take your passion captive under Christ’s headship – don’t let the passion captivate you.

 

 

Get a mentor to help you along the way: Proverbs 13:20~ He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. If you spend time with foolish people, you will also be foolish. Make sure your friends encourage you and help you. Talk often with older people in your church- they are full of pointers and counsel. A study actually showed that teens with mentors were more likely to be leaders – and successful ones at that! Abe Lincoln, Timothy from the Bible, and Theodore Roosevelt all had mentors- all became great men of God.

 

 Know what you’re doing and why: Understand why you are doing a certain ministry- and pray for direction where you’ll go next. “If you don’t care where you go, it doesn’t matter what road you take.” This is true: if you want to go to Texas, don’t go towards New York. Choose what way you should go carefully, and don’t stray off the path. Follow the Bible to the letter for guidance along the way.

 

 Model responsibility: Trust, respect for others, service, obedience, and willingness are all characteristics to have when serving. Self control is also important. If you decide to minister to a friend who has a problem with controlling her words, you shouldn’t give her help unless you have the quality of controlling your words!. If you can’t control yourself either and decide to give her help, this is called hypocrisy. Responsibility starts with truthfulness. Responsibility also harnesses ‘the excuse monster’ and takes the blame humbly. 

 

 

Things to remember when doing ministry~

God uses ordinary people to accomplish the extraordinary!

Smile!

Prayer must proceed ministry

Be under your father’s authority (Malachi 4:6, Proverbs 3)

Avoid all appearance of evil (Satan is bent on hurting our testimony)

Check your motives often and don’t proceed until they are right

Be enthusiastic- it’s contagious!

Set goals for your life- they get you farther!

Be sensitive to others and their needs more than your own. Jesus Others You

Demonstrate courage and initiative

Find security in the Lord, not people’s opinion (the fear of the Lord)

Be bold in speaking the truth in love

Be a good listener

Share the gospel when the opportunity arises

Be an example (dress modestly, watch your words, etc)

But I’m afraid…

What if the people don’t like me? What if I goof up the gospel? What if? What if? WHAT IF?!

Prayer- is so great! Fall on your knees before you begin ministry. Pray to thank Him afterwards. If He calls you to do His will, He will give you the strength you need. It should always go first before doing any type of service to the Lord. Pray before you help in a church activity. Even songs at church can become prayers. Really mean what you sing!

Fears are well-concealed lies- They are traps Satan puts into our way to trip us up. Once we see the lies for what they really are, we can quickly and wisely navigate our way around them.

 Speak and teach on subjects you care about. Do the ministry you have a passion for. Even when you don’t like what you’re doing, do it for God!

Simple ideas to get started:

 

An encouragement ministry~

Sending notes to widows, grieving families, new mothers, shut-ins, and those sick in the hospital

Give hugs often!

Singing ministry~

If your family is musical, sing at nursing homes, or get in touch with other musical families and sing together for a large family choir!

Do special music at church

Speaking ministry~

Do a Bible study with your friends

Prayer Ministry~

Pray for waiting children- for more info go to adoptuskids.org

Everyone is nervous when they start something new. Here is what I’ve learned so far on overcoming fear~

 

Keep Those Creeps Off Your Back

This was the topic of a sermon I heard at a youth rally a few years ago. When I first heard the title announced, I laughed, as did all the other teens in the room. We joked all day about the last sermon title, and wondered what it could possibly be about! “Are you a creep?” “I’m a creep.” “Are you a creep?” “Creeps for Jesus!” On and on we joked. So, when that final sermon hour came, everyone listened intently as the speaker began. This was going to be good! He started off in an unusual way- “I’ll need four volunteers, and a nice big guy leader.” So, he picked four teen guys and a male leader and began his message. Already, it was weird. Why did this guy need these young men to help? The speaker positioned one of the boys on all fours, explaining he was a new Christian and was easily swayed by temptation and not sure of what to do next. He was weak. Then the preacher told the second guy to get on top of this new Christian. The second person represented a bad friend, who was influencing this baby Christian the wrong way. We were laughing as the first boy was already buckling under the added weight. ‘Wow, what does this have to do with creeps?” I wondered aloud. Then the preacher told the other two boys to get on the pile. They represented more sinful friends, also encouraging bad behavior. That poor boy at the bottom was caving into the “sin.” The preacher explained how Christians are sometimes easily swayed by peer pressure, and ‘creeps’ will begin to pull you down and make you cave into sinful lusts. Finally, the preacher told the nice big youth leader to run and push over the boy-pile, which had already nearly caved in! We watched as he went running, then, with a mighty push, as the pile of ‘sin’ toppled. The new Christian had been claimed by his sinful friends. This was an amazingly different example of how sin can be so subtle. It can sneak in through friends, through books, magazines, movies, and media. The world is constantly at war- invisibly- with good and evil. The Christian, especially the new one, has to work hard keep the forces of evil away, before it topples the values and morals taught by Christ in the Bible. Two lessons were learned that day- First of all, never underestimate the power of a weird sermon, and secondly, ‘creeps’ could be anywhere, waiting to catch anyone vulnerable. Be aware of any creeps in your life! Psalm 1:1a- Blessed is that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly… Proverbs 1:10- My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.