‘Live With Purpose’ (a tidbit of Chapter 1 of my book)

How often do we think ‘September thoughts’? “Since the school year is starting, I will do ____” or “I can have 30 weeks to study ____ a little bit more.” It’s easy to think we can let our schedules and circumstances determine our life; to help our future along. It’s like living on autopilot: letting social life, full calendars, games, appointments, and homework become our purpose for living. And for us college women and beyond, it’s easy to think housework and college and chores is all that’s worth living for.

These activities are all worthy and many are necessary to living. Chores need to be completed. Homework must be finished. Doctors need to be seen. Teeth need to be filled. It’s life.

But, when we start to look to our calendars to determine what’s next, our lives are set to live on autopilot. And when a huge change comes (like graduation, for example), we aren’t sure what we’re supposed to do. We feel lost, like our social life has been stripped away; we feel like we have no reason to exist: like we have no purpose… like God has taken everything we liked to do away!

I confess I used to live on autopilot. Looking to the next thing on the list to determine what I should do. It is how we young single women start to feel discontent when we’re 18 or 21 or 30 and not married- or even seeing anyone. We’re too used to everything coming at us in an orderly fashion, being in control of our lives. When things like a job, marriage, or college don’t come our way, the discontentment sets in.

In reality, God is not taking anything away from us. WE are living without purpose.

“Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You.” Saint Augustine

So often, we’re caught up in living life to simply live life, we forget what we’re here for. We were made for God, not the next big thing! It is only when we live for God do we genuinely begin live vibrantly, wholly, and fully.

How do we do that?

Well… that’s what my book is all about!

Hyper-patriarchy vs. Biblical-patriarchy

Hyperpatriarchy is a type of demanding fatherhood and husband-hood ( ) that requires nothing less than exact obedience all the time- even on minute issues. Hyperpatriarchs like to dictate what his daughters and wife wear, what they do, and where they go. They like to be in complete control and have the final say. They often ignore what their family has to say and go with what they want.

Reading an independent-fundamental-Baptist-Reformed local magazine for women that somehow ended up on my desk; I was shocked at the articles on submitting to your husband/father. Some quotes from this magazine:

“You must let a man be man. (nothing wrong with that) If you interfere with any situation, even if it is sin, better to leave him alone for fear of ruining his testimony.” (Sounds faintly of Muslim honor and strongly of letting someone live knowingly in sin)

“When a woman shares her opinion, she is sharing the true heart within her. This nasty heart in manipulative and wants to see her husband’s ruin. Better to keep her mouth shut.” (So women cannot share opinions wit their husbands???)

“Your husband did not have to marry you. Do not complain about his strictness in keeping you in when he goes out. Being married is enough for him, why push him to do something you want when it is his turn to have fun?” (It’s the woman’s fault he’s angry/disinterested in her?)

I agree with being thankful for what we have, letting men be men, and that the human heart is sick. But when a woman has no say whatsoever, has to live in fear for her husband’s spiritual well being (because she can’t call him out on sin); and has to avoid dealing with even petty problems… that’s hyperpatriarchy.

I was accused once of being a victim of hyperpatriarchy. I bought a lovely maxi-dress recently at a store called Forever 21. I tried to wear it to church the next Sunday; and dad ended up telling me he didn’t like the cut. It emphasized the wrong parts of my body, and he didn’t want that at all. (“Not even a hint” as I like to put it) I really wanted to wear the dress, but obeyed. At church, my friend asked if I was wearing the dress I’d bought. I said “No” and explained the situation. She shook her head and said “That’s no way to live. Your dad is a total hyperpatriarch…”

Let’s take a look at Biblical patriarchy:

Christ is masculine. God is masculine. God so loved the world…HE… gave HIS SON. God is also the ruler of everything, but a gentle one at that. He doesn’t want harm to come to us, but sometimes obedience can cause suffering in some way from others. God is not a cruel taskmaster. He very nature is love. Christ is love. The man of the house represents Christ.  Both man and woman are made in God’s image and are both called to exercise dominion over the earth. They share an equal worth as persons before God in creation and redemption. The man is also the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man. (Gen. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 11:3,7; Eph. 5:28; 1 Pet. 3:7) God has also ordained gender roles. Adam already had headship over Eve before sin entered the world. (Gen. 2:18)

God has placed authority of fathers and husbands to be useful and good in direction family. There is a limit on a man’s power. He must be in the Lord. When a man is outside of God’s will or word, he is not leading well. When in sin, there is hardship for the man to lead. The same goes for a woman when she will not submit. A man’s authority should be exercised with grace and love as a servant, priest, and leader; following the example of Jesus Christ. Leadership is a stewardship from God. (Mal. 3:17; Ps. 103:13; Col. 3:21; 1 Pet. 3:7) A man should also be subject to the laws of the government. (Romans 13) The man and wife, (and hence kids) should also submit to each other and respect opinions, tastes, and views, as long as they are of the word.

The woman is called to be keeper at home- meaning she is to run the household in domestic affairs: cooking, cleaning, teaching kids (primarily- I want my husband to be fully committed to teaching our kids at home and pray he would want to take part in that); basically becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman every day. This doesn’t mean she can’t “have a job”  it simply means her #1 priority should be home. My mom is really a Proverbs 31 woman! My mom and I have a business of sorts- every Tuesday we make 14 dozen cookies and my dad sells them at work. It’s extra income. It’s “working willingly with our hands”. My mom gets up early to start the laundry and she often stays up late to finish things. She is known for her artistic ability (especially working on VBS decorations, where she happens to be right now), her cooking, her get up and go spirit. People at church talk about her highly. She is frugal with our money, so much so, we have surplus of things. That frugality leads us to never do without (we are the thrift store junkies, but we have the nicest, largest, CHEAPEST wardrobes around, I’d say) I could go on, but you probably get the point. She is very submissive to Dad, her hubby, whom she’s been married to for over 20 years. Aww…

*ahem*

Father/husbands should oversee the family well; and do so biblically, gently, and firmly. He must also realize that everyone has an opinion, and his opinion may not line up the wife’s or kids’.

Now, back to the story I was telling about the dress. If my dad would have said “I don’t like that pattern on you, it looks outdated…” It would have been a matter of personal preference, and hyper-patriarchy if he told me to obey immediately without protest. But since he directly said “I don’t like the cut of the top part and how it draws attention to your bust,” I knew right away what exactly was wrong- and that it wasn’t right. Since my dad noticed something I’d overlooked completely, I figured the other guys at church would probably notice, too. I didn’t want to “accidentally” ”entice” a dude when I knew I shouldn’t be even wearing something enticing. And, since the Bible tells us women to be modest and cover up what should be covered ,-and I knew I shouldn’t cause any brother in Christ to lose sight of Christ if I could help it- I decided to do what I knew was right. I changed my outfit.

So, was my dad a hyperpatriarch or a biblical patriarch?

You can’t expect to submit to your husband one day if you can’t submit to your dad now. It’s not always going to be that BIG thing. It will more than likely be a small thing.

It Only Happens Once…

Life gets busy. Just when I thought graduation would be the end of my social life, I find myself loaded with projects and tasks, visits and meetings. It makes me grouchy, some days, because I’m getting sort-of ”plum-tuckered” out.

I didn’t want to go to church last night, but I’m glad I did. We had an interesting discussion on personal convictions and Romans 14-15.

After the study, we all split up into self-organized spontaneous groups. I noticed a elderly lady looking around the room. No one was sitting near her, people were praying with their friends. After prompting my mom to go sit by her, we went over and introduced ourselves. We ended up having a lovely discussion with Mrs. Powell, who must’ve been in her eighties! She talked of her growing up grandchildren, and her middle aged son, their missions work and then asked us what we were doing lately. My mom mentioned how busy we were with my graduation party. With her faltering voice, she shook a finger in my face and said “Enjoy it… it only comes once!” Shortly thereafter, her equally elderly husband came out and sat behind her. You could totally tell they were still in love! I was tickled pink when Mrs. Powell mentioned she was engaged to three other men at various point in life, broke it off each time and ended with ‘him’ (as she jerked a thumb at her man) for the last 65 years. Aww!! She patted my knee and said in a mischievous voice: “When you start courtin’ watch out!”

When I’m 80 something, I want to be alive and kickin’ like her!

In the midst of a busy point of life, I was reminded by someone far older than me that a successful life cannot be measured by friends, money, or status. Enjoy the experience. Make the most of every opportunity. It only happens once…

It reminds me of Ecclesiastes 1:10:

Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.

We need to find wisdom from ages before us. So, look to people from ages before us! We have some catchin’ up to do as young folks.

And then onto 14:

 I have seen everything that is done under the sun,

and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

Life is nothing new. But, by the time 50 comes around, people realize there’s more to life then money. Then they wish they’d known that earlier in life. They were chasing after something that didn’t matter for half their life.

That’s why this blog is called Echoes in the Wind. I’ve seen all the chasing after the wind. Okay, maybe not all of it, I’m 15 days shy of being ten and eight years. But I’ve seen people wasting their young years on a lot of things that don’t matter. Music. Money. Clothes. Fiction not worth reading. Boyfriends.

Echoes come back to you.

Echoes haunt you, reminding you of what’s happened. Perhaps telling you of what could be.

Echoes will come back to you, and continue to, unless you stop making a ruckus. There can be good ‘ruckuses’ and bad ‘ruckuses.’

Echoes warn other people far behind.

Echoes can come from people on mountains. We’re all said to be climbing up a mountain toward God. Not sure if I like that analogy, but it’ll do. 

This blog’s original intent was to stretch and encourage and tell younger girls of what I’ve learned in life. To make you think. To make you want something better. To let God use my talent of writing and creating to inspire you on your journey up a mountain.

Life should be simple. Don’t make “it’s complicated” your life’s motto.

Life is not about frivolity. Clothes don’t make the man. Neither does your color of nail poish.

Life is not a show. Don’t pretend. Be REAL (the link will tell you the wrong definition of real)

Life has ideas. Be familiar with them. Know them. Study them.

Life should be colorful. Be vibrant. Don’t be dull.

Life should focus on serving. Look around for needs. Attend to them. Act like you alone know about a need.

Life should be ultimately about God, and the pursuit of Him.

Now, I’m not blogging to just younger girls anymore. I’m blogging to peers, older young women, friends, young men, married and single adults, and other random people who join for fun or for laughs .

Many people who are tired of chasing after the wind.

Oh Joy! Quotes and Notes!

~~Little Paragraphs and Deep Thoughts, Big Facts and Scrawly Notes That Churn ’Round In My Noggin~~

“Legalism is merely the futile attempt to do in our own strength what the Spirit of God means to accomplish on our own behalf.” ~ Leslie Ludy Set Apart Femininity

The form in which ideas are expressed affects what those ideas will be. (The MEDIUM is the METAPHOR) ~ Neil Postman Amusing Ourselves To Death

If you asked 2o good men today what they though was the highest of the virtues, 19 of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christains of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philosophical importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not of primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian view of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  ~ CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

It is a sin to be dumb! ~ John Stonestreet- Summit lecture

A real woman is a woman who recognizes that she has been exquisitely and perfectly created by a loving God for a unique purpose. Out of geniune gratitude, awe and a desire to please her Maker, a real woman joyfully embraces her femininity and submits every aspect of her identy to God’s original and unique design for her…Unlike feminists, we know God’s design for women. This gives us the upper hand. Will we use it? ~ Elizabeth Botkin So Much More

America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within. ~ Josef Stalin (from the opening of the documentary, Agenda) And what’s happening in our world???

The flood of rampant homosexuality will not ruin a nation. Why? Because rampant homosexuality is a sign that the nation is already ruined! ~ John Stonstreet Summit lecture

Godly womanhood, the very plance sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other type of woman: beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women. But seldom do we hear of godly women- or of a godly man either, for that matter. We believe women come nearer to fulfilling their God-given funtion in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife, than to be Miss America. It is a greater acheivement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old fashioned, than to be ultra modern, The world has enough womee who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs women who are pure. We need women, and men too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct. ~ Peter Marshall

When God’s Spirit is given His rightful place in a young woman’s life, He transforms her personality to reflect His beauty… He can overtake any kind of personality. . .You decrease, so that He might increase…~  Leslie Ludy The Lost Art of True Beauty      (This book was a great book for me. I tend towards shy, and for the first time, I realized I could go outside of myself- types are just types… but I recently went to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp to take a personality test anyway. The test revealed my weaknesses and strengths. I am an INTJ – Which type are you?)

The Baha’i faith believes in one God, but there are many ways to seek/experience God. Minimize theological differences and work together for harmony of faiths, freeing slaves and seeking justice. Affirmative action. Socail Justice. Service to humanity is highest goal. Baha’i believes in one God in one person- unitarian theism- it’s roots are in Islam, but they also accept YAH, Jesus, and Brahma as the same person- these are just other names. ~Len Woods      (Is the new Zach Hunter “Be the Change” movement founded in Baha’i? Whether he knows it or not, unknowingly, yes. The affirmative action movement is combining various religions to do things in God’s name. Is there a way to do hard things the wrong way? Yes! Baha’i followers will be among those to whom God will say “Depart… I never knew you…” Pluralism is one of the worst of the false worldviews).

To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward event. The best informed man is not necessarily the wisest. The wise man will seek to acquire the best knowledge- to recognize the significance in the factual is wisdom. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer (He is a good writer, and I like his “Cost of Discipleship”, though his theology on salvation was messed up…)

“We live in a dictatorship of relativism… what people say and do becomes normal, but not right.” ~Scott Klusendorf.

“Waiting for Godot is the Humanist’s dream. It’s about two guys waiting for a friend who never comes. Notice what the friend’s name is… GODot.” John Stonestreet on Beckett plays. (Seriously, look them up. They are hopeless)

“For I seek not to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order I can understand, study, and learn. “

Ideas have history, they come from somewhere. Ideas have feet, they will go somewhere. Ideas have consequences: they will do something to you or for you. Doc Noebel

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out it has no meaning. Just as if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would have no meaning. ~ CS Lewis

In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair. The sin that believes in nothing cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, remains for nothing, and has nothing for which it will live for or die. ~Dorothy Sayers (Sounds like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World- a place so hedonist and so limited by… love)

This so-called tolerance is nothing but a huge indifference.  ~Alexis de Tocqueville

“We are all part of one. Intellect is error…” ~Bhagwhan Shree Rajneesh - (Haha If we are all part of ‘one’, how did we get away from that oneness into many religions? Just asking, Mr. Rajneesh)

Sloppy language makes sloppy thought possible. ~Michael Bauman

Be the first you, not the second me. Education is learning to think, indoctrination is teaching you how to think. ~Michael Bauman.

The probability of life originating from an accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a print shop. ~ Edwin Conklin

He that knows nothing will believe anything.

If God wants to use you, he wants to use the real you. Not the person you want to be. God doesn’t use imaginary people. He wants you to be who He made you. Christians should not feel guilty by this… they are fogiven. What we feel is conviction.  Rowan Gillson (IPS)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read as many books as you can- I often wander the aisles of the library and pull of non-fiction books, take them home, and read them completely. You’ll never know how much you can know until you start to learn.

Stay At Home Daughter

Part One

  People won’t like the fact you are going to live at home until you marry.

Fact.

Expect their disapproval, but don’t be discouraged by it.

Prepare answers!

  There’s a passel of myths swirling around the church community and abroad, tricking people into thinking our time at home is a time of… laziness. Unless a stay at home daughter is making no contributions to the family household whatsoever, this daughter is not wasting her time at all. People at church grill me almost every week because, well, I’m weird. And weird (to them) means sheltered, narrow-minded, stupid, and maybe even lazy. Some of the questions I’m asked are:

  “Don’t you want to have a life?” “Do you feel like your parents are forcing this on you?” “What about college? Do you mean you aren’t going away?” “Maybe you’re just afraid of the real world.” “Why not move out and get an apartment when you’re graduated?” “What if you’re dad and mom die?” “Maybe your parents are making you do this because they know you’re not ready and are naïve?” “How can you say you like living at home?” “Don’t you want to learn life skills?” “You won’t know what’s new in technology and in the culture if you’re not in it!” “What? You’re graduated/graduating?” “What about socialization?!”

  I’d like to attempt to destroy these myths and give you an idea of how to go about answering similar questions that may be asked of you.

  “Don’t you want to have a life?”

I usually laugh, because I find this question forthright and hilarious. I ask them to define “life” and what “life” entails. Remember: the battle over ideas is a battle over the definition of words- when words lose their meaning, people lose their lives (and debates). Life, to them, is a fun-filled, outing based, social time where a girl spends her single time growing socially, shirking her duties at home. “Life” means that I should not be ‘stuck’ inside a house all day. “Life” is all about me!

  Life, in God’s definition is serving others, learning all I can before some guy steals me from my mom and dad , and getting a grasp on reality: LIFE is not about FUN, is not FAIR, or is of things FRIVOLOUS, nor is it based on crammed social agendas! My mom told me recently that life is not about the next great thing to look forward to: it’s about looking forward to the next thing God tells you to do. How true.

 “Do you feel like your parents are forcing you to do this?”

Not at all. My dad is really one who says “Whatever you do is fine, honey,” in most situations. He would not force me to do anything- unless it is something that I would benefit from, like sticking out a class at a co-op, or when I was younger eating all my veggies. My mom likes loves to see me carry out my convictions and obey the Holy Spirit. She is full of guidance, and is definitely one of my best friends; but I came to discover the idea of Stay at Home Daughterhood by myself, through reading.

 After being at home for so long, they assume your parents have an attachment problem and will not let you go! You can help this by one verbal move; but it is hard to make someone change their mind about you.

Simply speak of your commitments as your own. Don’t say “My dad wants me to wear skirts.” “My mom doesn’t want me to go to this activity.” Make your commitments your own. “I prefer skirts, they are more modest.” “That activity would not benefit me.” This will erase the idea of “bondage” into parents passing on convictions, or a ”teach them to your children” outlook, or even “indoctrination”. Proving the commitments are accepted and fine by your book doesn’t make your parents look like captors.

Suggested resource list-(do in order )

1. Read: So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Listen to the CD by these girls: Strength and Dignity for Daughters

Watch: Return of The Daughters

2. Joyfully at Home by Jasmine Baucham (I really like this book, I apparently have a lot in common with Jasmine, so it really really hit home for me)

Watch: Dominion Oriented Daughters (Geoffrey Botkin)

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I, again, ask those who are leaving book-long comments meant to stir up rabble rousers for the convention to S-T-O-P.

This is our family’s final year @ Midwest Homeschool Convention (unless they invite Ken Ham next year and allow AiG to display in the exhibition hall…). I’m excited to be going (though bittersweet, because of the grim events happening concerning AiG). I will be posting pictures and notes over the weekend, so be sure to check back!

What We’ve Gone and Done to ‘Light’

In the beginning, God said:

“Let there be light!”

And there was light!

God said:

“That is good!”

And it was!

Recently, man said, “Let there be full color pictures and stereo surround sound riding the light!” And there was TV. And CBS, PBS, ESPN, ABC, NBC, and CNN said “That is good!”

Then, man spoke again! “Let our pictures and sounds ride the light into every home in the nation!” And RCA, Sony, Toshiba, and Magnavox said, “That is good!”

Then man spoke AGAIN! “let every man, woman, and child in the nation stare at the light.”

So, the light flickered and the sound roared into every home! And Proctor and Gamble, General Mills, Kellogg, Coke, Pepsi, and Ford said “Hey, that’s good!”

Then man, hyponotized by the light, spoke again. “Let there be even more light!” And a kaleidoscope of satellites, cable systems, laser beams, decoders, earth stations, keyboards, computers, and camcorders sprung up around the universe, coming forth to spread the light.

And the pictures pulsed and the sounds roared with new life. “By 1985″, say the prophets and the sages, “3 million homes will be bathed in 120 channels of non-stop light!” And Comcast, GE, and Turner said “Boy, that’s good!”

Everywhere there was light; dancing, singing, shimmering, growing, glowing light. Women stared at the light longer that the men. Older men and women stared longer than the younger. Younger children stared longer than the teenagers. Families with more members stared more than families with less. Families with large income stared longer than families with less. Everybody stared more between 8 and 10 PM than any other time. And everybody stared more on Sunday night than any other night. And man spoke on more time. “More light! More light! Let there be more light!”

And a host of camcorders and playback units, flatscreens and giant wall screens, video games, small computers for home use, boomboxes, slide systems, and video cassettes came up from man’s hands to spread the light. And Atari, Apple, IBM, Kodak, GE, Nikon, and Canon said “That is good!”

And the people, led by the light, sat and stared in silence and wonder.

And God saw what man had done with His light and He said,

“That is NOT GOOD! Not good AT ALL!!!!!”

Chapman, from Bind Us Together, 1985

Yeah, some of the contraptions are a little old (try slide systems and video cassettes), but we really do spend a lot of time in front of ‘dark’ light! Think about how much time you spend doing things that don’t really matter.

Would God say “That is good” to the shows and media you use?

The funny song after this narration sums up our media controlled culture:

People in a box

TV personalities,

Show me how to live

In specific generalities

People in a box

Out of bed? tune them in!

How much do I learn

From people in a box?

Pressure to Be Attached

People call me crazy. People also call me stupid. Let me explain:

A smattering of guys have, at one time or another, confessed their undying, hormone related affection for me. I don’t want any of it. It’s distracting, and once these young men started hinting blatantly at liking me, the friendship hurled went downhill. I still have a good friendship with one, but it is because of being careful. I don’t reply to flirtatious comments, look at him when he sighs loudly, or tell him if I like him back. For the most part, he understands. I think. I spend a lot of time praying about “Alexander” but he is not the foremost of my thoughts. People usually tell me to go after him, because after all, I’m nearly of marriageable age, and of course, they only want me to be “happy.” When I say that I’m happy without a boyfriend or the prospect of getting one, most pat me on the arm and say I’m deceiving myself and someday that will change. Ha. Far from it, folks.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and I sure would like to be married sometime in my life. But God has given me a greater desire, a desire stronger than having a husby or a bunch of kids. That desire I have is from Him and for Him. God’s will takes over any thought I may have over Sir Charming the Gallant. If only more girls would stop playing the dating game and learn that contentment in Christ is the key to life!

“Who is this?” asked an old man of a 20-something woman.

“This is my boyfriend… Charles” the girl declared proudly.

It was amazing how much was said in those few words. This girl had been involved in my youth group for several years, all the while encouraging us not to seek after a guy but follow after the Lord. She should have led by example. While declaring she was not looking for a relationship, she started a singles group, researched ‘singles explosions’, and went to every event she could find where available men were. After three years, her search was successful. She has a boyfriend, and she talks of him all the time. Her identity is not in who she is in Christ, it’s who she is with her boy. You see, the young lady equates being fulfilled and human with being attached. Not so! What makes us human (profoundly human) is the Gospel! It makes us see our enormous need for help…and makes us become fulfilled after we’ve let Jesus fill that need. The Gospel is enough to satisfy. Stop living like it isn’t.

Those who “date around” want to have a great marriage someday, that’s unanimous! But, when it comes down to who they date, the standard is set quite low. Over the years, missionary dating has become popular at my church. It started with one couple, then it snowballed. Another couple started, and another, and then, this aforementioned girl found herself an unbelieving boy. The first relationship that started it all sadly ended when they found the “converted” girlfriend was fooling around at college.

It seems that dating is like a snowball. It starts out with a faithful Christian girl and a guy. She is serious about her walk with God, and every day is like a mountaintop experience. They date, get involved, and break up. The girl blames God for her problems, and starts look for another guy. The cycle repeats with several more guys, adding baggage, making the process of “backsliding” go faster. Things gain momentum. The snowball builds up more ‘junk’ and keeps rolling… downhill… faster and faster… until crash! The whole thing blows up in her face and her life is at the bottom of the hill. In order to get back to the top, she must get serious and start depending on God again for everything! Only then can she have a deep relationship with God and get back on the victorious mountaintop.

The reason for unbalanced relationships is the preset standard (or the lack thereof). Most people have no standard or even the slightest idea what they’d like to see in Prince Charming. As young women, we shouldn’t swoon over what our dear Johnny should look like. We should be praying for his character, his strength, and his spiritual well-being!

As I looked into qualities of husbands, I found absolutely no standard of any sort out on the Internet. Not even a bare minimum or a few requirement ideas. Sure, every girl is different, but there’s the need to set a standard and a few expectations to get her thinking about the kind of man she’ll marry someday.

Hence the big surprise. (No, it’s not that I’m getting married, but thanks anyway to those who asked!!) It’s a list of potential qualities that you should think about. This isn’t final gospel, and I’m only a weak, finite human, so it’s not a law to follow. Rather, this is a list to get you thinking. Take ideas from this list and start building your own. Tell me about some of the qualities you came up with on your own!

Check it out- The List  

This list will only be up for the week of Valentine’s… (February 14th-February 19th)

Pressure To Just Let Things Go…

Yikes.

Don’t ever get 12 inches of snow.

Ever.

On top of previous totals.

I think I spent 4 hours shoveling yesterday. At least my snow removal business is booming.  At least I burned over 1500 calories.

Oh yes, I’m used to a fresh inch or two of snowfall overnight that just dusts off your car every morning…but 12 inches at once. Sigh.

Any whoo, I did my devotions this morning with Lydia Brownback’s “Trust” (I got all four in her series for Christmas). It talked about clearing sin and putting faith fully, openly in God.  I sat down at my desk and began to write this post when I was through:

When you get snowed on (like what happened here), the first thing you should naturally do is dig yourself out. If you don’t, you won’t get very far. You’ll sit and spin your tires, and not go anywhere.

But it can get worse.

When snowplows go by, the end of your driveway gets 2 or 3 feet of extra snow piled in, making passage impossible. The end of your driveway is the outlet to freedom…but when the little red truck with a giant blade swipes the snow in your way, you end up (as in our case) with 2 1/2 feet of snow blocking freedom.  Dig yourself out.

The same goes for sin. Let me tell that little tale again.

When you start to backslide and let your faith go,  the only thing you can do is choose to stop being complacent and lazy and get growing again. If you don’t do anything and choose to ignore the Holy Spirit’s prompts,  you’ll go nowhere. You sit and whine that you don’t feel as on fire for God as you once did. You start living for yourself. How wonderfully useful your life becomes (not). Your faith is your outlet to the narrow way. Let your heart harden, and your faith stands still, the sin piles up, blocking the way to knowing God intimately. There is no freedom in this! It is up to you to CHOOSE to obey the little voice in your head. The voice that is saying “Come back!”

You can dig yourself out of the pit with asking for forgiveness and for a desire to grow.

This pressure comes from Satan, who is always looking stunt someone’s spiritual growth.

I know I’ve been feeling this pressure lately. I haven’t been keeping up with studying the 1,000 verses I’ve set out to memorize. I’m only at 77 at the time of this writing. I’m about 10 behind. I’ve also felt the temptation to read romance novels very strongly as of late. See the connection? I did, and I’m working hard at getting passages in my head again!

On the lighter side, my dad made cookies this past Sunday for the first time… and nobody died {yet}!

Also, I know some of you have done Mrs. Morecraft’s writing course a few months ago. Well, I hear she’s having a new course soon! I’d like to do this, but it looked kind of … umm, confusing? The syllabus was all relating to food (language and eating… is there a connection?), and her style came across as eccentric. (Like she’s a few fries short of a happy meal) But, what I was able to understand looked like it was worth looking into. So, what was your opinion of the past class, what’s she like, did you learn anything, and are you doing the next part? I’d like to know!

Colossians 2:8

Beware lest any man [educator, politician, rock star, news anchor] take you captive through vain and deceitful philospohy [naturalism, postmodernism, Marxism, Islam], after the traditions of men [Marx, Darwin, Nietzsche, Wellhausen, Freud, Dewey, Derrida, Foucault], after the rudiments of the world [socialism, Darwinism, Higher Criticism, Humanism, relativism, existentialism] and not after Christ.       

    Colossians 2:8  (from The Summit Journal and my lecture notes from Summit camp)

Barnacles

I was reminded today of little crab-like creatures called barnacles.

As I studied this little creature, I found that they are a lot like sin in your life. Barnacles can be parasitic, clinging to whales, ships, and rocks. If left unmoved, the creatures can cause drag on ships and whales. (Rocks- well, they’re rocks. They just lay there). An 80,000 pound humpback whale can host up to 1,000 pounds of barnacles, and that’s definitely enough to slow the whale down. The whale, however, feels no pain. For a whale on it’s way to the feeding waters with more fish, barnacle-drag can slow it down. The journey stretches to a longer period of time, and sometimes, the whale dies. He has not made it to the feeding grounds in time.

Just like barnacles, sin in a Christian’s life will definitely slow the disciple of Christ down! The Christian may not realize how harmful a sin can be until they are dying. Though we are always saved once we put our faith in the Son, we will begin to backslide, missing out on what great things we could have done. God may even take us out of this world early, especially if our sin is disrepsect to parents.

Removing barnacles is painful for the whale, and takes a lot of effort for the ship’s crew to scrape them off. It is interesting to see that scraping sin out of our own lives is painful, but neccessary if we want to live a free, weight-free life.  Sin nature itself will make us think that sin is too hard to rid of. It is not. Hebrews 12:1 tells us:  Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us…

A marathon runner doesn’t wear combat boots when running! He chooses the lightest pair of shoes he can find! He also wears special clothing that lets air in, but won’t weigh him down. God’s provision of grace lets us run the race with few distractions and weights. Keep your faith where it belongs: in God- not in believing that sin is okay- or doesn’t really harm you.

2 Tim. 4:7

I have fought the good fight. I have completed the race. I have kept the faith.

1,000 verses update:

I have memorized 17 out of 1,000 verses this year!