An Invaluable 91 Cent Lesson

Paraphrased from When God Writes Your Love Story

“Hey Eric!” Steve yelled as I was getting comfortable in the yellow plastic McDonald’s booth. “Bob’s picking the Huskers to beat your team by twenty!”

 “What?” I screeched. “Bob, your Huskers will be lucky to come out of Folsom Field alive, let alone with a victory!”

  Ah… those memorable college days. There I was with my buddies, who like me were once again dateless on yet another Friday night. To ease our egos, we all headed to our favorite hangout to splurge our carefully budgeted spare 91 cents on a sumptuous ice cream cone and engage in serious guy talk.

  For all of you female readers out there who are interested in learning how guys tick, listen up. Whenever we get into a plastic booth, we become very predictable at least where conversation is concerned.

Sports. We talk about teams, argue, grunt, flex, make jabs, and all sort of tough things like that. Once we exhaust that topic, we talk about another favorite subject- food.

“Just bought 20 Ramen noodle packages for 2 bucks at Meijer….”

“No way, dude!”

Eventually, we move onto our endocrine systems. Hormones.

As Bob excitedly shared about this blonde who proofread his Ducks and Diseases paper, God reminded me of his control over this area of my life. It had been a few months since I had “let go of the pen,” but at times, I was still struggling. But he gave me a beautiful hope. He had been preparing me to be a husband, thus revealing to me someone was out there waiting for me.

Whoa!

If God’s plan for me was marriage, she’s walking around right now.

She’s alive!

I wondered what she was doing.

I wondered if she was looking at the moon and thinking of me.

It hit me.

She better not be hanging around a guy!

My mind was filled with a picture of someone who looked like Val Kilmer creeping a snakelike, slimy arm around her shoulder. Doesn’t the moon look peachy babe? I could hear his disgusting voice say.

Then, as if it couldn’t get any worse, I imagined his oversized lips coming in for an intercept on hers. Get your unbridled lips off my wife, turkey!

  My lips curled into a crazed snarl, and my eyes boiled with fury. My right hand formed a pulsing fist and smacked my open left hand with savage force. I was ready to kill this guy!

  Maybe my buddies thought it was an allergic reaction to ice cream (they didn’t bring it up, thankfully), but on a night where I blew a whopping 91 cents; I gained a truth.

 I desire purity in my wife.

—

Girls, don’t you think your future husband desires purity in you? Could you smile at what he would see you doing right now? Where you are going? With what you’re saying to other guys?

It Only Happens Once…

Life gets busy. Just when I thought graduation would be the end of my social life, I find myself loaded with projects and tasks, visits and meetings. It makes me grouchy, some days, because I’m getting sort-of ”plum-tuckered” out.

I didn’t want to go to church last night, but I’m glad I did. We had an interesting discussion on personal convictions and Romans 14-15.

After the study, we all split up into self-organized spontaneous groups. I noticed a elderly lady looking around the room. No one was sitting near her, people were praying with their friends. After prompting my mom to go sit by her, we went over and introduced ourselves. We ended up having a lovely discussion with Mrs. Powell, who must’ve been in her eighties! She talked of her growing up grandchildren, and her middle aged son, their missions work and then asked us what we were doing lately. My mom mentioned how busy we were with my graduation party. With her faltering voice, she shook a finger in my face and said “Enjoy it… it only comes once!” Shortly thereafter, her equally elderly husband came out and sat behind her. You could totally tell they were still in love! I was tickled pink when Mrs. Powell mentioned she was engaged to three other men at various point in life, broke it off each time and ended with ‘him’ (as she jerked a thumb at her man) for the last 65 years. Aww!! She patted my knee and said in a mischievous voice: “When you start courtin’ watch out!”

When I’m 80 something, I want to be alive and kickin’ like her!

In the midst of a busy point of life, I was reminded by someone far older than me that a successful life cannot be measured by friends, money, or status. Enjoy the experience. Make the most of every opportunity. It only happens once…

It reminds me of Ecclesiastes 1:10:

Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.

We need to find wisdom from ages before us. So, look to people from ages before us! We have some catchin’ up to do as young folks.

And then onto 14:

 I have seen everything that is done under the sun,

and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

Life is nothing new. But, by the time 50 comes around, people realize there’s more to life then money. Then they wish they’d known that earlier in life. They were chasing after something that didn’t matter for half their life.

That’s why this blog is called Echoes in the Wind. I’ve seen all the chasing after the wind. Okay, maybe not all of it, I’m 15 days shy of being ten and eight years. But I’ve seen people wasting their young years on a lot of things that don’t matter. Music. Money. Clothes. Fiction not worth reading. Boyfriends.

Echoes come back to you.

Echoes haunt you, reminding you of what’s happened. Perhaps telling you of what could be.

Echoes will come back to you, and continue to, unless you stop making a ruckus. There can be good ‘ruckuses’ and bad ‘ruckuses.’

Echoes warn other people far behind.

Echoes can come from people on mountains. We’re all said to be climbing up a mountain toward God. Not sure if I like that analogy, but it’ll do. 

This blog’s original intent was to stretch and encourage and tell younger girls of what I’ve learned in life. To make you think. To make you want something better. To let God use my talent of writing and creating to inspire you on your journey up a mountain.

Life should be simple. Don’t make “it’s complicated” your life’s motto.

Life is not about frivolity. Clothes don’t make the man. Neither does your color of nail poish.

Life is not a show. Don’t pretend. Be REAL (the link will tell you the wrong definition of real)

Life has ideas. Be familiar with them. Know them. Study them.

Life should be colorful. Be vibrant. Don’t be dull.

Life should focus on serving. Look around for needs. Attend to them. Act like you alone know about a need.

Life should be ultimately about God, and the pursuit of Him.

Now, I’m not blogging to just younger girls anymore. I’m blogging to peers, older young women, friends, young men, married and single adults, and other random people who join for fun or for laughs .

Many people who are tired of chasing after the wind.

“Ishi”

“Ishi”

How I struggle with the idea of singleness! It only takes a happy newlywed couple to bring me to tears, asking God “Will I ever have a love story?” “Is it for me to be married?” “Am I supposed to be single?” No “real” answer. Just that little voice I love and sometimes hate at the same time: stop asking.

  It doesn’t help when I hear a few guys I know whisper things like “She’s holy, man!” ”Laura? Nah…” “She’s not a prude who asks you to stop doing things… but she sure is  moral.” “Do you know Laura’s got this commitment to never say I love you to guy until he’s engaged to her?” “I heard she wasn’t going to kiss a guy until her wedding kiss!” “Dude that is so wrong!”  (Interesting to note~ wrong is degraded to mean “not normal”)

It frustrated me to tears. God seemed farther way than usual, and I didn’t even do anything to run. Perhaps I was throwing a pity-party, but my view of God was turning into the classic pessimistic ‘God’s a cruel taskmaster.’

Last night, as I was praying through a Psalm, making it the cry of my heart, about to burst with those same questions; the Bible slipped off my lap. It fell open on the floor in Hosea 2. My eye fell on a paragraph that goes like this:

Ho 2:

 14 Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.

 15 And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and thevalleyofAchorfor a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of thelandofEgypt.

 16 And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, which thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali.

 (KJV)

I was in tears. I hastily ran a background check (as I humorously call ‘looking up the root words’) on the main words.

  After reading the translations, I wrote the literal meaning in my journal.

  Therefore, I will allure {make room for, call away}her, and bring {sweep, carry, loosely: steal}into the wilderness {desert-place} and speak comfortably there {speak to her heart}

To verse 16:

  …thou shalt call me Ishi (husband), and no longer Baali {master}.

  I smiled up to God in my tears and thanked him for his faithfulness. I figure if a man won’t have me for being crazy about God and obeying His unusual convictions for me, that man is crazy about the wrong things.

  Ishi… my soul’s husband!

Any verses pop out to you, girls?

 

INCH

Well, I’m not so flighty after all. I’m actually posting about INCH!

{grin}

Today, I heard a glorious two hours of Leslie Ludy, talking about femininity as it ought to be. Nothing new, but my fading vision for what my future could be was renewed; my perceptions of what I am going to make myself changed.

I’m not going to make myself great.

God will- but only if he chooses.

It’ s alright to dream about some tall, dark, handsome guy to come sweep me off my feet and take me to Israel someday to spread the gospel to the Jews and Arabs living there. It’s alright to dream about making a little house into a home with tons of kids (to help with the demographics). It’s okay to dream about getting a husband smarter than me… though people tell me it won’t happen and a mean little voice in my mind asks me “what if you never marry?????MWHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

 It’s okay to have desires. But God made those desires. He knows them so much better than I do.

Wow.

Who wouldn’t surrender them to God?

But girls, I’ve fallen away from that trust. I haven’t exactly taken the pen out of God’s hand, but I have nearly forgotten about the commitment I made several years ago to live passionately for God every day- including the days of singleness that stretch on unbending in my future.

So I’m going to try again and remember to do live passionately EVERY day. Not just once or twice a week, but EVERY day. I needed that kick in the pants. Or knock on my thick head. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in doing, not worshipping. I want to bring that feminine mystery back into my life. I can’t imagine how I lost it. Or wanted to.

After two full hours of the true gospel, true beauty, and true feminine grace; I was able to meet and talk with one of the people I look up to in faith… Leslie Ludy. (Apparently, she pronounces it Less-lee instead of what we say- LeZZ-lee) It was a lovely little chat, though it lasted only 3 or 4 minutes. Girls, she really means what she says in her books! You can see how deeply she wants the girls of today to embrace the great faith of yesterday. The gospel, though old, is never changing!

Then, I went to hear Dr. Voddie Baucham, who helped me learn a little more about kids and their attitudes. I’m barely “growned upped”- but I sure forgot how kids act. I needed to hear that. His  Family Discipleship was an applicable lesson on kids and authoritie, the instituions that shape us, and the people who try to tear us down. I highly recommend his “Family Driven Faith.”

I did take notes that session right in my dashboard. Wrong call.

I lost the internet connection, and hence my notes.

Ouch.

After that, I heard several more sessions by the Ludy couple, soaking up all the insights they shared. We talked about what God is to be in our lives (My portion, my redeemer, my maker, my deliverer, my salvation… among 60 and some other things).

After buying the book “Why We’re Not Emergent…by two guys who should be”, I settled into another session with Voddie Baucham. This guys has a sense of humor. He really does.

Whilst making fun of home educators who start school the same day ‘government mass academia institutions’ begin, he yelled out in his BIG, booming voice “Repent!” (clapping) Silence. “If you can’t say amen, you oughta say ouch!”

Tomorrow, I’m gearing up for some Phylicia Duran, some Ludy, some Baucham, and some Phillip Telfer.

Now, I am going to attempt to get what resembles a good night’s sleep.

In a hotel.

I can try…

What Stay At Home Daughter Does NOT Mean

Almost every week I am asked questions about my choice to live at home through college. I try to answer them, and have actually written out several answers to some questions.

Then it turned into a blog series.

Over the next few days (weeks?months?) I hope to share with you 14 frequently asked questions about being a “Stay At Home Daughter’. Maybe more. Make that probably more.

I’d also ask you to do your part and share some FAQ’s you are commonly asked, answers you share with the ask-er, and some other answers I might come up with. I may turn your Q/A into a blog post (with your link, of course, if you have one )

Spread the word!!

Pressure to Be Attached

People call me crazy. People also call me stupid. Let me explain:

A smattering of guys have, at one time or another, confessed their undying, hormone related affection for me. I don’t want any of it. It’s distracting, and once these young men started hinting blatantly at liking me, the friendship hurled went downhill. I still have a good friendship with one, but it is because of being careful. I don’t reply to flirtatious comments, look at him when he sighs loudly, or tell him if I like him back. For the most part, he understands. I think. I spend a lot of time praying about “Alexander” but he is not the foremost of my thoughts. People usually tell me to go after him, because after all, I’m nearly of marriageable age, and of course, they only want me to be “happy.” When I say that I’m happy without a boyfriend or the prospect of getting one, most pat me on the arm and say I’m deceiving myself and someday that will change. Ha. Far from it, folks.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and I sure would like to be married sometime in my life. But God has given me a greater desire, a desire stronger than having a husby or a bunch of kids. That desire I have is from Him and for Him. God’s will takes over any thought I may have over Sir Charming the Gallant. If only more girls would stop playing the dating game and learn that contentment in Christ is the key to life!

“Who is this?” asked an old man of a 20-something woman.

“This is my boyfriend… Charles” the girl declared proudly.

It was amazing how much was said in those few words. This girl had been involved in my youth group for several years, all the while encouraging us not to seek after a guy but follow after the Lord. She should have led by example. While declaring she was not looking for a relationship, she started a singles group, researched ‘singles explosions’, and went to every event she could find where available men were. After three years, her search was successful. She has a boyfriend, and she talks of him all the time. Her identity is not in who she is in Christ, it’s who she is with her boy. You see, the young lady equates being fulfilled and human with being attached. Not so! What makes us human (profoundly human) is the Gospel! It makes us see our enormous need for help…and makes us become fulfilled after we’ve let Jesus fill that need. The Gospel is enough to satisfy. Stop living like it isn’t.

Those who “date around” want to have a great marriage someday, that’s unanimous! But, when it comes down to who they date, the standard is set quite low. Over the years, missionary dating has become popular at my church. It started with one couple, then it snowballed. Another couple started, and another, and then, this aforementioned girl found herself an unbelieving boy. The first relationship that started it all sadly ended when they found the “converted” girlfriend was fooling around at college.

It seems that dating is like a snowball. It starts out with a faithful Christian girl and a guy. She is serious about her walk with God, and every day is like a mountaintop experience. They date, get involved, and break up. The girl blames God for her problems, and starts look for another guy. The cycle repeats with several more guys, adding baggage, making the process of “backsliding” go faster. Things gain momentum. The snowball builds up more ‘junk’ and keeps rolling… downhill… faster and faster… until crash! The whole thing blows up in her face and her life is at the bottom of the hill. In order to get back to the top, she must get serious and start depending on God again for everything! Only then can she have a deep relationship with God and get back on the victorious mountaintop.

The reason for unbalanced relationships is the preset standard (or the lack thereof). Most people have no standard or even the slightest idea what they’d like to see in Prince Charming. As young women, we shouldn’t swoon over what our dear Johnny should look like. We should be praying for his character, his strength, and his spiritual well-being!

As I looked into qualities of husbands, I found absolutely no standard of any sort out on the Internet. Not even a bare minimum or a few requirement ideas. Sure, every girl is different, but there’s the need to set a standard and a few expectations to get her thinking about the kind of man she’ll marry someday.

Hence the big surprise. (No, it’s not that I’m getting married, but thanks anyway to those who asked!!) It’s a list of potential qualities that you should think about. This isn’t final gospel, and I’m only a weak, finite human, so it’s not a law to follow. Rather, this is a list to get you thinking. Take ideas from this list and start building your own. Tell me about some of the qualities you came up with on your own!

Check it out- The List  

This list will only be up for the week of Valentine’s… (February 14th-February 19th)

Temptation and Contentment

Lately, I’ve felt weak in the area of keeping to my commitment of courtship. It’s especially hard when, at church on Sundays, I get an older lady or two advertising their grandson to me in subtle ways.

It was even harder when I got a date proposal to go and see Pam Tebow give her testimony over a formal dinner with a guy I happen to umm, ahem, like.

gulp gulp

Even though I turned the offer down, I found myself wondering what would’ve taken place at the meal. Immediately, I felt guilty of not trusting God for His best.

Turns out, the lesson for tonight’s bible study meeting is contentment. Putting together a lesson on something you’re currently struggling with is always fun, becauseI immediately fix my problem spot right away.

He brought the following verse to me about living a contented, Jesus in control life:

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God

Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Galatians 5:26

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

I should not begin to envy a sinful lifestyle full of of frivolty and dating. I remembered that God is God and I am supposed to be still. I also learned that God will always get me through a big temptation, and help me become content.

Then, I was reminded of Fanny Crosby. She’s my contentedness model for tonight’s lesson.

‘Oh, what a happy soul I am,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be.

How many blessings I enjoy
That other people don’t
To weep and sigh because I’m blind
I cannot nor I won’t.’

What a woman! She said she wouldn’t trade her blindness for sight because she wanted to give God glory!

I want others to say someday:

What a woman! She wouldn’t trade her singleness for a premature dating relationship because she wanted to give God the glory!

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. he’s not the hard to conquer with Christ on your side. He’s the winner, after all, in the end.   God made you exactly the way you are right now. Get down on your knees and thank HIM!

(PS, I’m deliciously happy today, btw. Always am on study days!)

Table for One, Please!

When I was younger, I went to kindergarten. We didn’t do much in the way of learning apart from evolutionary talks, sight words, and motor skills. We had playtime, and that time still sticks in my head like glue.

 

My friends Jasmine, Allison, and Casey would bring out the Barbies. We would drag the giant house to the center of the circle time area and proceed to dress our unrealistically proportioned dolls. We didn’t realize that at the time, however. Once JJ, (the odd-boy who didn’t play with he-man toys and begged to breathe life into a sick-looking Ken doll for us), had dressed Ken as a knight, we were ready to play.

Almost.

“I wanna be the beautiful dying princess today.”

“No, Jazz, you were yesterday. It’s my turn. “

“I thought I was the pretty, dying one today.”

“Hey guys, what if JJ had four Kens and we all had a handsome dude to heal us?”

We would argue until three of us deferred and one of us got our way. The point was, we all wanted to be saved from death, kissed and hugged, and “be married” to Ken so we could be the happy one. We always played that the married one was the happiest, prettiest, and the most successful. I don’t think we even thought about that fact. Our culture had taught us well by the tender ages of 4 and 5. You need another half to be fulfilled, happy, or successful. You need to have a boyfriend to be happy. Ditch the guy and you ditch happiness.

 

Now I’m 17, have never had a boyfriend, and am happy the way I am. (Hey culture, don’t believe me? Read on!)

 

I’ve seen they way girls act when they become guy-crazy and marriage obsessed at young ages. There’s a 15 year old girl who recently told me to stay away from a 17 year old young man who seemed to show interest in me. Nothing happened between any of us, but it made for a good laugh with my parents and this question to arise:

“Who’s responsible for teaching her to act like that?”

Parents? Maybe. Friends? Sure. But really, who started the Prince Charming syndrome?

Movies full of weddings and cute guys, books with tips for flirting, magazines that tell you how to dress to flaunt your curves?

Exactly. These influences are also known as media. Media usually shapes culture. 

 

Modern Christian psychology doesn’t help either. I believe (and this is just my opinion) that psychiatry and psychologists are just lame excuses invented by humanists to cover up sin. We have new terms for the guilty or even ‘self-surrendered to Christ people’ like “mentally unstable people.” These people can be helpful, sure, but really: just because I give up my “right” to have a boyfriend doesn’t make me ‘mentally unstable!’ We have no right to anything but worshipping our Savior, and when you start worshipping those pop-stars doing drugs, bailing out of jail and…

…back to the topic I was talking about. Bunny trails. I don’t want to go to bunny land. I don’t think you want to either.

Something about, uh, let’s see… Prince Charming Syndrome, right?

When a couple is together, their intent should be marriage. No doubt about it! It’s the purest way! So why are we surrounded by 12-16 year old lovebirds? While at Cedar Point, a local amusement park, I laugh as all the 12 year olds kiss their 13 and 14 year old boyfriends while in line for the rides. Why is that?

Our world tells us singleness is a lonely way of life. It can be quite lonely at times, to be sure. We live in a “connected” world. Loneliness today means social pariah. Outcasts of society. Nobody to love you.

Loneliness is used by God to draw you closer to Him! God loves you SOOOOO much! God uses tough times for His glory. But that’s not the single life completely. Being single is not 100% loneliness. Not even 50%!

Being single is a way to minister to others like you can’t when you are married. Older unmarried women I know can take off on a short term mission trip in a short amount notice. If she were married, she would have to check with her hubby, find places for the kids to stay, prepare meals for the family, and do many other things that she wouldn’t do if unmarried.

Being single is an opportunity to grow in the Lord unhindered. I am only 17 years old, and as I have said before, I have never dated a guy. I was at one point, a little too interested in guys, but once I shifted my focus to God, I grew! I love being ‘uncrazy’ about guys: because now I am crazy about God!

Expect some well-meaning, elderly mentors to try and pair you off with someone or push their grandson at you. You simply need to explain that you are not looking at all for a guy. I am asked this question about every other month at my church by different people. The question “Aren’t you dating anybody?” usually comes in the disguise of: “Have you met up with a possible Mr. Right yet?” or “Has God ushered that special someone into your life?”

At times it can get discouraging. Answering “Nope” isn’t always a joyful task. Satan wants us to think we aren’t complete without ‘him.’ Who needs ‘him’ when you can have ‘HIM?’

I have indeed come a long way from my Barbie and Ken philosophy. I hope you have or will, too.

Just some thoughts on singleness. And yup, I’m not back yet. I love the scheduled posts function! It feels so funny knowing this thing will post itself without my help. Hey, no offense, but I’ve probably forgotten all about my blog at this point. I think I’m having the time of my young life! And if you’re just joining me, I’m at a place called Summit, in WI. Check out my Two Weeks at Summit page for more details.

We Should Never Cause A Guy To Stumble

Hey! This is another scheduled post! I wonder what I’m doing right now at Summit. I’ll bet I’m having the time of my life right now!

Of course, I may be bored out of mind, too…

But anyway…

Today, I’m writing about guys again.

How we dress affects others. (Wow! All new information, Laura! Way to go!…not). This should be ingrained in our heads by now! But how often do we put knowledge into practice? Not often.

I’ve seen too many girls say they’re for modesty and later walk by guys with low cut shirts and too tight jeans. Guys notice things. Things as in body parts under your low cut shirt and too tight jeans. They aren’t paying attention to the embellishment on your shirt. They aren’t blind! We shouldn’t dress like we don’t know they’re looking, because deep down inside, we know they are. We become hypocritical and think of what ‘he’ would think of you if you wore this or that outfit. That’s not modesty- that’s manipulation.  

We should never cause a guy to stumble because of what we’re wearing. If that means throwing out your size 10′s and exchanging them for looser 12′s, do it. If it’s donating that cute, new, yet low cut shirt from Aeropostale, go for it! It honors God to be modest, and it will please your future husband. I personally choose not to get anything from Abercrombie and Fitch because of the posters on the store walls. I don’t want to wear things associated with that store’s reputation.

Purposeful immodesty is actually like flirting (see flirting post below). Instead of words and actions, you’re using clothes to ‘lure’ that guy to you. Manipulation!

Now, I’m also not saying that we should live in fear, wondering if this shirt or that skirt is going to cause a guy to be offended. We sometimes can’t control what others thnk of us. (whoa, let’s do that again)

We can NEVER control what others think of us.

But you get credit for trying!

Have any of you ever made the commitment to not offend a guy by your dress? I’d be delighted to hear from you.

Friendly or Flirtatious?

Hi! Right now, I’m in Wisconsin, probably not anywhere near an Internet source. Why? This is a scheduled post- I’m not here! I’m at Summit camp. I wasn’t going to leave you postless, now, was I? In fact, I’m leaving a post for you every day, so don’t fall behind, now!

Now, on to flirtation:

What happens when a guy starts flirting with you?

How do you respond?

Here’s the answer: It depends on the young man! A nice fellow could simply be friendly with you in his own way- causing you to wonder what his true intentions are- friend or flirt? A guy could begin flirting intentionally with a young lady, and the girl could take him either as a nice super-friendly dude or as a total pervert!

Keep this one thing in mind: young men who flirt have insecurities. This has been true in every situation I have observed. Guys just want attention- to be thought of as cool, tough, and manly- their sole purpose is not love- just to bring attention to them. By flirting, they believe girls will notice them- and they do: for the wrong reasons. Flirting is a form of manipulation, and that’s using a situation to benefit yourself and no one else. Guys who flirt are usually weak Christians: the type you shouldn’t marry! The guys close to you should never start flirting- because they care about you! Flirting is a neat way to know who doesn’t care about you. Guys who flirt are selfish. They want the thrill (short term) that flirting gives them. They want to brag about how they caught that pretty girl’s eye so all their friends can ohh and ahh.

When an immature man flirts with you, don’t even look his way. That’s one thing I have learned. Just looking at him- even in annoyance- causes him to continue and receive that momentary thrill.

A friendly and/or intrested guy however, will ask questions out of genuine concern for you. He will pray for you, help you along, and do things your friends would do: in a guy’s way. If you have been friends for a long time, then expect some jokes and playful banter. That’s not flirting. It’s fun and friendly communication! Don’t assume that your relationship may be turning into something more simply because you’re in high school or college.

There is a point in almost every high-school girl’s life when you think, well, hope, just maybe believe that perhaps this one, uh, … ahem, young man, may like you.

Is it flirting-

-or is it true interest?

Or is he just friendly?

Sometimes it’s just too hard to tell! I made some new friends awhile ago, and we were all getting very well acquainted. I had several guy friends in this group, so I knew I had to be careful with this situation. I was careful about what I shared with these young men. Out of the blue, one of the guys gave me an inexpensive gift. It was a typical guy gift (involved a large amount of candy) that he might have easily given everybody there as well. I wasn’t sure how to respond! I asked around to see if any of the other girls in my group had received this gift as well, and they all said they hadn’t. As the weeks and months went on, this guy began take almost every opportunity to be near me. He made jokes with me in a friendly way. He talked with me and asked questions about my walk with God. As you can imagine, a young man showing any sort of interest in you gets your curiosity piqued! He is a very friendly young man, but I still do not know for sure whether or not he likes me. And I will not find out: I am not going to manipulate and ask. What if he says no? Then what does my testimony look like? What if he says yes? I am committed to waiting for God’s best for marriage: and I don’t feel any leading to get married! God can bring Mr. Right in at the right time: without your help! (He created the world without your help- what makes you think He needs help with something smaller? ) The best way to deal with a wait-and-see situation is prayer. Act on the Holy Spirit’s leading: not your sinful nature.

Don’t flirt back. That’s joining in on sin.

At the root, flirtation is attention without intention!