‘Live With Purpose’ (a tidbit of Chapter 1 of my book)

How often do we think ‘September thoughts’? “Since the school year is starting, I will do ____” or “I can have 30 weeks to study ____ a little bit more.” It’s easy to think we can let our schedules and circumstances determine our life; to help our future along. It’s like living on autopilot: letting social life, full calendars, games, appointments, and homework become our purpose for living. And for us college women and beyond, it’s easy to think housework and college and chores is all that’s worth living for.

These activities are all worthy and many are necessary to living. Chores need to be completed. Homework must be finished. Doctors need to be seen. Teeth need to be filled. It’s life.

But, when we start to look to our calendars to determine what’s next, our lives are set to live on autopilot. And when a huge change comes (like graduation, for example), we aren’t sure what we’re supposed to do. We feel lost, like our social life has been stripped away; we feel like we have no reason to exist: like we have no purpose… like God has taken everything we liked to do away!

I confess I used to live on autopilot. Looking to the next thing on the list to determine what I should do. It is how we young single women start to feel discontent when we’re 18 or 21 or 30 and not married- or even seeing anyone. We’re too used to everything coming at us in an orderly fashion, being in control of our lives. When things like a job, marriage, or college don’t come our way, the discontentment sets in.

In reality, God is not taking anything away from us. WE are living without purpose.

“Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in You.” Saint Augustine

So often, we’re caught up in living life to simply live life, we forget what we’re here for. We were made for God, not the next big thing! It is only when we live for God do we genuinely begin live vibrantly, wholly, and fully.

How do we do that?

Well… that’s what my book is all about!

Hyper-patriarchy vs. Biblical-patriarchy

Hyperpatriarchy is a type of demanding fatherhood and husband-hood ( ) that requires nothing less than exact obedience all the time- even on minute issues. Hyperpatriarchs like to dictate what his daughters and wife wear, what they do, and where they go. They like to be in complete control and have the final say. They often ignore what their family has to say and go with what they want.

Reading an independent-fundamental-Baptist-Reformed local magazine for women that somehow ended up on my desk; I was shocked at the articles on submitting to your husband/father. Some quotes from this magazine:

“You must let a man be man. (nothing wrong with that) If you interfere with any situation, even if it is sin, better to leave him alone for fear of ruining his testimony.” (Sounds faintly of Muslim honor and strongly of letting someone live knowingly in sin)

“When a woman shares her opinion, she is sharing the true heart within her. This nasty heart in manipulative and wants to see her husband’s ruin. Better to keep her mouth shut.” (So women cannot share opinions wit their husbands???)

“Your husband did not have to marry you. Do not complain about his strictness in keeping you in when he goes out. Being married is enough for him, why push him to do something you want when it is his turn to have fun?” (It’s the woman’s fault he’s angry/disinterested in her?)

I agree with being thankful for what we have, letting men be men, and that the human heart is sick. But when a woman has no say whatsoever, has to live in fear for her husband’s spiritual well being (because she can’t call him out on sin); and has to avoid dealing with even petty problems… that’s hyperpatriarchy.

I was accused once of being a victim of hyperpatriarchy. I bought a lovely maxi-dress recently at a store called Forever 21. I tried to wear it to church the next Sunday; and dad ended up telling me he didn’t like the cut. It emphasized the wrong parts of my body, and he didn’t want that at all. (“Not even a hint” as I like to put it) I really wanted to wear the dress, but obeyed. At church, my friend asked if I was wearing the dress I’d bought. I said “No” and explained the situation. She shook her head and said “That’s no way to live. Your dad is a total hyperpatriarch…”

Let’s take a look at Biblical patriarchy:

Christ is masculine. God is masculine. God so loved the world…HE… gave HIS SON. God is also the ruler of everything, but a gentle one at that. He doesn’t want harm to come to us, but sometimes obedience can cause suffering in some way from others. God is not a cruel taskmaster. He very nature is love. Christ is love. The man of the house represents Christ.  Both man and woman are made in God’s image and are both called to exercise dominion over the earth. They share an equal worth as persons before God in creation and redemption. The man is also the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man. (Gen. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 11:3,7; Eph. 5:28; 1 Pet. 3:7) God has also ordained gender roles. Adam already had headship over Eve before sin entered the world. (Gen. 2:18)

God has placed authority of fathers and husbands to be useful and good in direction family. There is a limit on a man’s power. He must be in the Lord. When a man is outside of God’s will or word, he is not leading well. When in sin, there is hardship for the man to lead. The same goes for a woman when she will not submit. A man’s authority should be exercised with grace and love as a servant, priest, and leader; following the example of Jesus Christ. Leadership is a stewardship from God. (Mal. 3:17; Ps. 103:13; Col. 3:21; 1 Pet. 3:7) A man should also be subject to the laws of the government. (Romans 13) The man and wife, (and hence kids) should also submit to each other and respect opinions, tastes, and views, as long as they are of the word.

The woman is called to be keeper at home- meaning she is to run the household in domestic affairs: cooking, cleaning, teaching kids (primarily- I want my husband to be fully committed to teaching our kids at home and pray he would want to take part in that); basically becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman every day. This doesn’t mean she can’t “have a job”  it simply means her #1 priority should be home. My mom is really a Proverbs 31 woman! My mom and I have a business of sorts- every Tuesday we make 14 dozen cookies and my dad sells them at work. It’s extra income. It’s “working willingly with our hands”. My mom gets up early to start the laundry and she often stays up late to finish things. She is known for her artistic ability (especially working on VBS decorations, where she happens to be right now), her cooking, her get up and go spirit. People at church talk about her highly. She is frugal with our money, so much so, we have surplus of things. That frugality leads us to never do without (we are the thrift store junkies, but we have the nicest, largest, CHEAPEST wardrobes around, I’d say) I could go on, but you probably get the point. She is very submissive to Dad, her hubby, whom she’s been married to for over 20 years. Aww…

*ahem*

Father/husbands should oversee the family well; and do so biblically, gently, and firmly. He must also realize that everyone has an opinion, and his opinion may not line up the wife’s or kids’.

Now, back to the story I was telling about the dress. If my dad would have said “I don’t like that pattern on you, it looks outdated…” It would have been a matter of personal preference, and hyper-patriarchy if he told me to obey immediately without protest. But since he directly said “I don’t like the cut of the top part and how it draws attention to your bust,” I knew right away what exactly was wrong- and that it wasn’t right. Since my dad noticed something I’d overlooked completely, I figured the other guys at church would probably notice, too. I didn’t want to “accidentally” ”entice” a dude when I knew I shouldn’t be even wearing something enticing. And, since the Bible tells us women to be modest and cover up what should be covered ,-and I knew I shouldn’t cause any brother in Christ to lose sight of Christ if I could help it- I decided to do what I knew was right. I changed my outfit.

So, was my dad a hyperpatriarch or a biblical patriarch?

You can’t expect to submit to your husband one day if you can’t submit to your dad now. It’s not always going to be that BIG thing. It will more than likely be a small thing.

Stay At Home Daughter

Part One

  People won’t like the fact you are going to live at home until you marry.

Fact.

Expect their disapproval, but don’t be discouraged by it.

Prepare answers!

  There’s a passel of myths swirling around the church community and abroad, tricking people into thinking our time at home is a time of… laziness. Unless a stay at home daughter is making no contributions to the family household whatsoever, this daughter is not wasting her time at all. People at church grill me almost every week because, well, I’m weird. And weird (to them) means sheltered, narrow-minded, stupid, and maybe even lazy. Some of the questions I’m asked are:

  “Don’t you want to have a life?” “Do you feel like your parents are forcing this on you?” “What about college? Do you mean you aren’t going away?” “Maybe you’re just afraid of the real world.” “Why not move out and get an apartment when you’re graduated?” “What if you’re dad and mom die?” “Maybe your parents are making you do this because they know you’re not ready and are naïve?” “How can you say you like living at home?” “Don’t you want to learn life skills?” “You won’t know what’s new in technology and in the culture if you’re not in it!” “What? You’re graduated/graduating?” “What about socialization?!”

  I’d like to attempt to destroy these myths and give you an idea of how to go about answering similar questions that may be asked of you.

  “Don’t you want to have a life?”

I usually laugh, because I find this question forthright and hilarious. I ask them to define “life” and what “life” entails. Remember: the battle over ideas is a battle over the definition of words- when words lose their meaning, people lose their lives (and debates). Life, to them, is a fun-filled, outing based, social time where a girl spends her single time growing socially, shirking her duties at home. “Life” means that I should not be ‘stuck’ inside a house all day. “Life” is all about me!

  Life, in God’s definition is serving others, learning all I can before some guy steals me from my mom and dad , and getting a grasp on reality: LIFE is not about FUN, is not FAIR, or is of things FRIVOLOUS, nor is it based on crammed social agendas! My mom told me recently that life is not about the next great thing to look forward to: it’s about looking forward to the next thing God tells you to do. How true.

 “Do you feel like your parents are forcing you to do this?”

Not at all. My dad is really one who says “Whatever you do is fine, honey,” in most situations. He would not force me to do anything- unless it is something that I would benefit from, like sticking out a class at a co-op, or when I was younger eating all my veggies. My mom likes loves to see me carry out my convictions and obey the Holy Spirit. She is full of guidance, and is definitely one of my best friends; but I came to discover the idea of Stay at Home Daughterhood by myself, through reading.

 After being at home for so long, they assume your parents have an attachment problem and will not let you go! You can help this by one verbal move; but it is hard to make someone change their mind about you.

Simply speak of your commitments as your own. Don’t say “My dad wants me to wear skirts.” “My mom doesn’t want me to go to this activity.” Make your commitments your own. “I prefer skirts, they are more modest.” “That activity would not benefit me.” This will erase the idea of “bondage” into parents passing on convictions, or a ”teach them to your children” outlook, or even “indoctrination”. Proving the commitments are accepted and fine by your book doesn’t make your parents look like captors.

Suggested resource list-(do in order )

1. Read: So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Listen to the CD by these girls: Strength and Dignity for Daughters

Watch: Return of The Daughters

2. Joyfully at Home by Jasmine Baucham (I really like this book, I apparently have a lot in common with Jasmine, so it really really hit home for me)

Watch: Dominion Oriented Daughters (Geoffrey Botkin)

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I, again, ask those who are leaving book-long comments meant to stir up rabble rousers for the convention to S-T-O-P.

This is our family’s final year @ Midwest Homeschool Convention (unless they invite Ken Ham next year and allow AiG to display in the exhibition hall…). I’m excited to be going (though bittersweet, because of the grim events happening concerning AiG). I will be posting pictures and notes over the weekend, so be sure to check back!

Fly Around The Room Like A Bird and Spray Paint The Moon Green…

Augustine’s view of God was like that- or so Pelagius thought. God can make the rules- but since he’s God, he can keep the rules. We can’t. We’re ‘massa perditions’- lumps of sin.

If I told you to fly around like a bird, it would be very funny and you’d think me to be halfway to the nut house. But, if a professor at college told you to do these things, and said you’d fail if you were unable, you’d probably get frustrated and leave. Nobody could spray paint the moon green- much less fly around the room like a bird…

  Recently, I delved into the Augustine vs. Pelagius matter (what? My library doesn’t have Pelagius???), and I’m quite… entertained by it. People have argued this for centuries, and if you’re not familiar with the issue, and you’d like a brief summary of the argument, pay attention to this dialogue:

  Augustine: Hey God, since you’re up there as a known fact, how about you make up some rules. Only, since you’re God, you make sure you keep them- cuz we sure can’t…it’s impossible!”

  Pelagius: Hey buddy- are you saying that God would make laws He knows you can’t keep? And punishes you for not keeping them? What’s up with that??? Is that even right?

Augustine: Of course, that’s exactly right.

(bold- adapted from dear old Dr. Bauman)

 This ages old argument intrigues me. Filius Dei vs. Massa Perditions (Children of God vs. Lumps of Sin)

  There are too many different sides to each story…

This battle is one not over God’s nature, but I believe it’s over human nature.

Ah well, to elaborate on this topic would take fifty lifetimes. I’d encourage you to get lost in this matter, too. Read the books. Study the people. Conclude for yourself…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  During my break, so much GOOD happened! But, I doubted a lot for several weeks. I felt like doing nothing, I felt very sick, and bad news kept coming. There was good news, though. An answer… but more on that later.

   “Winter… what a pretty word for such a long, dreary time…”

  We thought it was over, the feet of snow that had piled up around us was melted, the field were flooding, the air was warm- if you’d call 35 degrees warm!

  Then the temperatures plunged below the 20 degree mark, and took my high spirits with it. The snow came again, ice too. The ice came around my heart and tempted me to become bitter at, well, everything. The woman I thought was going to be a nice lady to talk to and learn from ended up just being nosy and jealous because she wanted to know what it was like being a “sheltered” homeschooler- and wondering why I was so good when her foster daughter was so bad. 

The women at church talked of meeting once a month for lunch, {exciting prospect}, but I learned they only met to discuss “Christian” romance novels {Will Levi Miller catch Susanne Zook? Find out now in this cut and dried yet excitingly distracting new Amish romance!!}. My chair was taken away at choir and I was moved to an area far away from the action. The news came I wasn’t going to the internship came that Tuesday. I was not asked (once again) to be in the church’s Resurrection Sunday drama. I sat alone every Sunday in Sunday school. Nobody talked to me, people purposed to leave me out. To rub it in, a lady told me to “bloom where I was planted”. What if I haven’t been planted? Or, if I have… what if I’m not getting a chance for sun, water, and Miracle Gro? Maybe I’m wilting?

 I re-read Contentment by Lydia Brownback over two nights, reading the verses and soaking up the thoughts. It blessed me, and had me asking questions about my life. Your comments, dear readers, also helped to motivate me to seek God’s will. 

 I decided to wholeheartedly see what God had in store for me. I decided to try my hand at being patient and waiting for my time to serve.

  It seemed God blessed me for that decision. On a night where once again, I felt like crying my eyes out and blaming Him for everything, I heard a whisper in my ear: “Trust me.”

  So I did.

I woke up that morning and to my utter amazement, I felt… joy. For the first time since that awful week full of bad news for me, I actually felt remotely happy. I sprang out of bed and leapt around my room listening to the Getty’s, over to my window to throw open the curtains wide. A view like none other greeted me. Overnight, the snow and ice had all melted, and there, sitting on the roof of the neighbor’s house were two robins! Spring was on its way! It was an exhilarating sight. The goldfinches and doves had returned as well. A few days after that, the doves began to coo- a glorious sign of spring. SPRING!! I haven’t heard that wonderful sound since September… ah!

  My thirst for books struck anew- if that is possible. More, more, more, MORE! I’ve re-read my whole collection in a matter of nearly 2 weeks. Hungry to learn. Hungry for more… I’ve checked out every single book at the library on the Russian communist revolt of 1917-1991. I want to learn! I’m going to study every single major event in history this summer.

  It seemed encouragement and hope was popping up around the corner- little girls at AWANA hugged me and told me they loved me, and that God loved me too. A little deaf girl hung on my arm, smiling up at me with an unparalleled cuteness. I signed “I Love You” to her, and she signed back “I love you more more more.”

  There were spectacular sunsets to behold, wonderful songs to be written, verses to commit to memory. There were friends to meet, Sparks to lead, and fellowships to attend. God kept me busy, indeed. He gave me so much more than He’s ever taken away! Has God ever really taken anything away from me other than my sin? I wondered. Every good gift comes from above…all things work together for good…

Even when things happened that were bad to me, I realized- nothing is bad if it means I get to grow closer to the King of Kings. Really think about that name… King OF Kings. He wants me? Why would He want me- or even want to do good for me? I wondered what the “good” was.

 The day or so after the news came about the internship; a song touched my heart- one that I had never heard before. It’s called “A Greater Yes.” After listening to that song, I wondered, “What’s the greater yes to all this? It seems so fragmented, it doesn’t make sense… I’m confused!!” Everything was seemingly working together for Iowa… but now what?

   The answer came a few days later:

“Dear Laura,

“We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted to attend our worldview camp in Wisconsin…”

This August, God is calling me to Summit once again. All that working together for what seemed like that opportunity for interning was working for Summit.

That’s not all…

For the past several years, I’ve asked to teach Jr. Church and at VBS, but when I was 13, I was told I had to be16. When I was 16, I was told 18. This past week, I was given not only one but THREE teaching jobs. I am teaching at VBS in July, Jr. Church during the month of July, and JR. Jr. church in November. These jobs would not have been possible if I were in Iowa…

I’ve worked on my book, getting it into a more organized format. But, I only write about 5-6,000 words about a topic and can’t think of anything more to say! Not sure what I’ll do about that. I seem to have idea bursts that go away after 20 minutes of typing.

  I’ve been reading, studying, and analyzing my collection of Clive Staples Lewis- taking notes, reading critiques online. I highly recommend the Weight of Glory. [A good order to read CS Lewis in is:  Mere Christianity, Abolition of Man, Problem of Pain, Screwtape Letters, Miracles, and Weight of Glory. After that, I’d have to say any order, because they do not expound or require prerequisites].

  I’d also like to order as many DVDS and CDs from Vision Forum as I can! I am almost being overtaken by this hunger to LEARN!!!!!! I want to especially buy the Homestead Blessings series- if any of you have a set or one DVD, pretty pwease tell me about it. Or, recommend a CD or a book- if you’d like.

 Now I close this {really long} return post by saying~ I’m back! And I shan’t leave you again… until August. Oh, and this year, you can send me mail/letters and packages [hopefully full of letters, Twizzlers and Cheezits] while I’m at camp- address and details to come later. I love mail- and getting a lot of mail at camp would be so wonderful! Really, it would. I’m serious. {not to hint or anything}

PS~ I’m going to be at Midwest Homeschool Convention, and am planning on meeting up with a Bright Lights leader I met through blogging- Allison. If anyone else from bloggy-land will be there, please let me know- I’d love to meet you. Don’t think you’ll just run into me eventually- cuz this conference is HUGE (rumored to be 18,000 people there this year). The place is enormous- it takes about 30-45 minutes to get through the main halls from one back corner to kitty front corner. 

  Yahoo! I feel as though I could cram my brain with just about anything!

{insert a very happy, contented sigh right here}

It feels good to press that publish button again…

In the announcer-voiced words of my radio dad:

*We now return to our regularly scheduled programming*

Temptation and Contentment

Lately, I’ve felt weak in the area of keeping to my commitment of courtship. It’s especially hard when, at church on Sundays, I get an older lady or two advertising their grandson to me in subtle ways.

It was even harder when I got a date proposal to go and see Pam Tebow give her testimony over a formal dinner with a guy I happen to umm, ahem, like.

gulp gulp

Even though I turned the offer down, I found myself wondering what would’ve taken place at the meal. Immediately, I felt guilty of not trusting God for His best.

Turns out, the lesson for tonight’s bible study meeting is contentment. Putting together a lesson on something you’re currently struggling with is always fun, becauseI immediately fix my problem spot right away.

He brought the following verse to me about living a contented, Jesus in control life:

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God

Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Galatians 5:26

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

I should not begin to envy a sinful lifestyle full of of frivolty and dating. I remembered that God is God and I am supposed to be still. I also learned that God will always get me through a big temptation, and help me become content.

Then, I was reminded of Fanny Crosby. She’s my contentedness model for tonight’s lesson.

‘Oh, what a happy soul I am,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be.

How many blessings I enjoy
That other people don’t
To weep and sigh because I’m blind
I cannot nor I won’t.’

What a woman! She said she wouldn’t trade her blindness for sight because she wanted to give God glory!

I want others to say someday:

What a woman! She wouldn’t trade her singleness for a premature dating relationship because she wanted to give God the glory!

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. he’s not the hard to conquer with Christ on your side. He’s the winner, after all, in the end.   God made you exactly the way you are right now. Get down on your knees and thank HIM!

(PS, I’m deliciously happy today, btw. Always am on study days!)

Table for One, Please!

When I was younger, I went to kindergarten. We didn’t do much in the way of learning apart from evolutionary talks, sight words, and motor skills. We had playtime, and that time still sticks in my head like glue.

 

My friends Jasmine, Allison, and Casey would bring out the Barbies. We would drag the giant house to the center of the circle time area and proceed to dress our unrealistically proportioned dolls. We didn’t realize that at the time, however. Once JJ, (the odd-boy who didn’t play with he-man toys and begged to breathe life into a sick-looking Ken doll for us), had dressed Ken as a knight, we were ready to play.

Almost.

“I wanna be the beautiful dying princess today.”

“No, Jazz, you were yesterday. It’s my turn. “

“I thought I was the pretty, dying one today.”

“Hey guys, what if JJ had four Kens and we all had a handsome dude to heal us?”

We would argue until three of us deferred and one of us got our way. The point was, we all wanted to be saved from death, kissed and hugged, and “be married” to Ken so we could be the happy one. We always played that the married one was the happiest, prettiest, and the most successful. I don’t think we even thought about that fact. Our culture had taught us well by the tender ages of 4 and 5. You need another half to be fulfilled, happy, or successful. You need to have a boyfriend to be happy. Ditch the guy and you ditch happiness.

 

Now I’m 17, have never had a boyfriend, and am happy the way I am. (Hey culture, don’t believe me? Read on!)

 

I’ve seen they way girls act when they become guy-crazy and marriage obsessed at young ages. There’s a 15 year old girl who recently told me to stay away from a 17 year old young man who seemed to show interest in me. Nothing happened between any of us, but it made for a good laugh with my parents and this question to arise:

“Who’s responsible for teaching her to act like that?”

Parents? Maybe. Friends? Sure. But really, who started the Prince Charming syndrome?

Movies full of weddings and cute guys, books with tips for flirting, magazines that tell you how to dress to flaunt your curves?

Exactly. These influences are also known as media. Media usually shapes culture. 

 

Modern Christian psychology doesn’t help either. I believe (and this is just my opinion) that psychiatry and psychologists are just lame excuses invented by humanists to cover up sin. We have new terms for the guilty or even ‘self-surrendered to Christ people’ like “mentally unstable people.” These people can be helpful, sure, but really: just because I give up my “right” to have a boyfriend doesn’t make me ‘mentally unstable!’ We have no right to anything but worshipping our Savior, and when you start worshipping those pop-stars doing drugs, bailing out of jail and…

…back to the topic I was talking about. Bunny trails. I don’t want to go to bunny land. I don’t think you want to either.

Something about, uh, let’s see… Prince Charming Syndrome, right?

When a couple is together, their intent should be marriage. No doubt about it! It’s the purest way! So why are we surrounded by 12-16 year old lovebirds? While at Cedar Point, a local amusement park, I laugh as all the 12 year olds kiss their 13 and 14 year old boyfriends while in line for the rides. Why is that?

Our world tells us singleness is a lonely way of life. It can be quite lonely at times, to be sure. We live in a “connected” world. Loneliness today means social pariah. Outcasts of society. Nobody to love you.

Loneliness is used by God to draw you closer to Him! God loves you SOOOOO much! God uses tough times for His glory. But that’s not the single life completely. Being single is not 100% loneliness. Not even 50%!

Being single is a way to minister to others like you can’t when you are married. Older unmarried women I know can take off on a short term mission trip in a short amount notice. If she were married, she would have to check with her hubby, find places for the kids to stay, prepare meals for the family, and do many other things that she wouldn’t do if unmarried.

Being single is an opportunity to grow in the Lord unhindered. I am only 17 years old, and as I have said before, I have never dated a guy. I was at one point, a little too interested in guys, but once I shifted my focus to God, I grew! I love being ‘uncrazy’ about guys: because now I am crazy about God!

Expect some well-meaning, elderly mentors to try and pair you off with someone or push their grandson at you. You simply need to explain that you are not looking at all for a guy. I am asked this question about every other month at my church by different people. The question “Aren’t you dating anybody?” usually comes in the disguise of: “Have you met up with a possible Mr. Right yet?” or “Has God ushered that special someone into your life?”

At times it can get discouraging. Answering “Nope” isn’t always a joyful task. Satan wants us to think we aren’t complete without ‘him.’ Who needs ‘him’ when you can have ‘HIM?’

I have indeed come a long way from my Barbie and Ken philosophy. I hope you have or will, too.

Just some thoughts on singleness. And yup, I’m not back yet. I love the scheduled posts function! It feels so funny knowing this thing will post itself without my help. Hey, no offense, but I’ve probably forgotten all about my blog at this point. I think I’m having the time of my young life! And if you’re just joining me, I’m at a place called Summit, in WI. Check out my Two Weeks at Summit page for more details.

What’s Your Name?

“Lauralea…”

“Lauralea?!”

“Hey, Lauralea, would you please get over here?!”

For years, I have forgotten my real, full name is Lauralea. I actually got my name from a lady on Wheel of Fortune. I’m serious, my mom was watching and a lady named Lauralee was playing. Mom was expecting me soon, she and dad were trying to come up with a name. They liked this lady’s name, so they simply changed the spelling to Lauralea in order to honor my mom’s middle name, Lea. (Thank you very much, Lauralee on Wheel of Fortune…) I’ve just gone by Laura for so long, when I hear somebody calling me Lauralea, I think, “That’s not my name…” and ignore what they’re saying to me. Funny, isn’t it? Everybody just calls me Laura- and that’s what I’ve told people my name is for years! (Not to lie, but really, I don’t think of my full name when I’m introducing myself! Sad, huh?)

So, recently, I decided to start at least signing my name and making the honest effort to introduce myself as Lauralea.

“Okay Laura- er- Lauralea, where are you headed with this..?”

My question is to you: do you remember your name? The name you take on when you accept Christ as savior? That name is ‘Christian’ and there’s nothing to be ashamed about saying you are one! But so many people simply explain their deeds with the phrase: “Oh, I have morals.”  We should never forget our name, and be happy to call ourselves a Christian. If you are serious about living the Christian life, try not to forget what your name is and who you represent. Try not to be a hypocrite, either. We should try to govern ourselves with the best behavior- Christians often call themselves so, then go out and do things even lost people wouldn’t do. We shouldn’t try to show the world our likeness to them- saying “Hey- it’s great to be a Christian, you just have eternal security and that’s it. The rest of your days can be spent anyway you please!” We should show the world a different story.

When we are saved, our desire should be to explore that hunger God gives to us. But as my pastor put it, that hunger often goes unexplored. We should be ready to serve Him anyway we can, and be willing to do His work. but our attitude is “God, here’s my life, but I expect something back,” or, “God, I give you my future, as long as you make it good!” No no no! I believe that once we surrender our life, it should be ‘completely complete’ as I put it. No ifs, ands, or buts. God’s desire is to bless us, to give us a bright future, but until we learn that surrender should be complete, our lives may seems a little dim. Sure, we’ll be consumed with our desires, but it doesn’t satisy like God’s blessings do!

Once we are Christians, we need to remember what that means: giving our time, money, talents, and sometimes our life for God, after all, He saved us! Try to be a Christian with your life, not just by saying you are.

What’s your name?

Lions and Tigers and Mean Girls-Oh-My!

Today’s topic- Jealousy

  Being jealous is not a good feeling. You feel discontent with something or everything you have, and want more or less of it. Where does that jealous feeling come from?

Pride

   Yes, it may seem like a strange way to jealousy, but really, think about it. You can be prideful of something and not even realize it. Say you bought a cute green outfit that fit you perfectly and shoes to match. You plan on wearing this outfit to the local mini-golf course where you’re meeting a bunch of friends. The day comes, and you arrive, feeling like a confident, beautiful young lady. You begin thinking thoughts like, “ I’ll bet Sarah and Jen aren’t looking as cute as I am today!” This is pride, and being so wrapped up in your new outfit, you don’t realize it! So, you find your friends, and you see Sarah wearing a nicer shirt than yours, in a better color than yours, and better shoes than yours. She even has better skin than yours, a better figure, and she is at a perfect height! When you begin comparing yourself to Sarah, the wind goes out of your confidence sails immediately. Why? Because you are jealous! In the back of your mind you wanted the imaginary best-dressed award of the day. When you didn’t get it, you were completely bummed. This is also discontentment. You were happy with what you had until Sarah’s outfit came into view. We need to realize that we can’t have everything. We can’t be somebody else. God designed you for a reason and has a purpose for everybody, whether or not that person is wearing a cute outfit or not!

What if your friend is jealous of you?

My advice- be careful! Are your motives wrong? Are you thinking about wowing everyone with your achievements, gadgets, clothes, or money? Do you think a lot about getting new stuff just to impress others?

   One Sunday morning, my mom and I had an argument about this- I had just bought a lot of new clothes, and I had many new outfits I could mix and match. I wasn’t flaunting this or showing off in any intentional way. I just liked wearing the new clothes I’d got! Well, my mom actually thought that I was trying to make others girls jealous! It is so easy to cross the line from wearing to flaunting. Clothes and other things you have can give the wrong message about who you are. Be careful, but don’t be paranoid about what others think about you. People will think what they want to think, but as long as God knows what your true heart intentions are, and you mean well, you’re okay. Don’t get wrapped up in yourself, keep your focus on God.

   If you have a hobby or an activity that you excel at, and your friend is always commenting about it in a jealous way, be careful. If you have trophies or ribbons you’ve won as a result of your hobby, then don’t give her a whole speech about how much it means to you. I have a friend who always told me she wanted to be a ballerina, but her size wouldn’t allow it. The next time I was over for the night, I gave her a short lesson and she loved it! Just showing you really care and mean well can stop the jealousy. Just remember that since everybody is different in so many ways, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone, and we shouldn’t need to please them. Do not get caught up in the thinking that stuff = status. Be happy with what you have, and don’t show it off!

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.