Life as a Devotion

While teaching at VBS last week, I grew quite used to the devotional for the teacher every morning.  If you have read my blog for any length, you know I’m not the “What did King Joash do about the problem? How does this apply to your life?” type of devotional reader. This devotional was one of those rare finds that focused entirely on getting your mind ready for the day. Well written, encouraging, and refreshing, I began to look forward to each day’s reading. Saturday morning, after VBS was over, I woke up, and instinctively reached for the book. Wait a minute… “Oops, I turned it in yesterday.” I remembered. I felt rather upset!

But I was reminded I don’t need to have a devotional in front of me to be refreshed and encouraged.

When I randomly stop riding my bike and crawl into a gully with water in it (known as a “crick” around here ), put flowers in my hair and sing praise songs in German, I’m praising God. I realize now I may look weird doing it, but hey, Moses had a glowing face when he walked off the mountain! I am learning to love him when I make a Christ-like behind the scenes decision that will affect the outcome of an important day. I am reflecting Jesus’ heart for kids when I patiently tie a kid’s shoe for the 24th time.

Our lives are a devotional for others to see. Our lives are a testimony of His goodness.

What do others see?

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NEEDED: Your opinion: Do you want a bunch of scheduled posts (like last year) or “live” blogging when I’m at Summit? – which by the way I leave for in only 17 days!!!!  I can’t promise I’ll blog long, or much, but it’s an option!

Hyper-patriarchy vs. Biblical-patriarchy

Hyperpatriarchy is a type of demanding fatherhood and husband-hood ( ) that requires nothing less than exact obedience all the time- even on minute issues. Hyperpatriarchs like to dictate what his daughters and wife wear, what they do, and where they go. They like to be in complete control and have the final say. They often ignore what their family has to say and go with what they want.

Reading an independent-fundamental-Baptist-Reformed local magazine for women that somehow ended up on my desk; I was shocked at the articles on submitting to your husband/father. Some quotes from this magazine:

“You must let a man be man. (nothing wrong with that) If you interfere with any situation, even if it is sin, better to leave him alone for fear of ruining his testimony.” (Sounds faintly of Muslim honor and strongly of letting someone live knowingly in sin)

“When a woman shares her opinion, she is sharing the true heart within her. This nasty heart in manipulative and wants to see her husband’s ruin. Better to keep her mouth shut.” (So women cannot share opinions wit their husbands???)

“Your husband did not have to marry you. Do not complain about his strictness in keeping you in when he goes out. Being married is enough for him, why push him to do something you want when it is his turn to have fun?” (It’s the woman’s fault he’s angry/disinterested in her?)

I agree with being thankful for what we have, letting men be men, and that the human heart is sick. But when a woman has no say whatsoever, has to live in fear for her husband’s spiritual well being (because she can’t call him out on sin); and has to avoid dealing with even petty problems… that’s hyperpatriarchy.

I was accused once of being a victim of hyperpatriarchy. I bought a lovely maxi-dress recently at a store called Forever 21. I tried to wear it to church the next Sunday; and dad ended up telling me he didn’t like the cut. It emphasized the wrong parts of my body, and he didn’t want that at all. (“Not even a hint” as I like to put it) I really wanted to wear the dress, but obeyed. At church, my friend asked if I was wearing the dress I’d bought. I said “No” and explained the situation. She shook her head and said “That’s no way to live. Your dad is a total hyperpatriarch…”

Let’s take a look at Biblical patriarchy:

Christ is masculine. God is masculine. God so loved the world…HE… gave HIS SON. God is also the ruler of everything, but a gentle one at that. He doesn’t want harm to come to us, but sometimes obedience can cause suffering in some way from others. God is not a cruel taskmaster. He very nature is love. Christ is love. The man of the house represents Christ.  Both man and woman are made in God’s image and are both called to exercise dominion over the earth. They share an equal worth as persons before God in creation and redemption. The man is also the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man. (Gen. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 11:3,7; Eph. 5:28; 1 Pet. 3:7) God has also ordained gender roles. Adam already had headship over Eve before sin entered the world. (Gen. 2:18)

God has placed authority of fathers and husbands to be useful and good in direction family. There is a limit on a man’s power. He must be in the Lord. When a man is outside of God’s will or word, he is not leading well. When in sin, there is hardship for the man to lead. The same goes for a woman when she will not submit. A man’s authority should be exercised with grace and love as a servant, priest, and leader; following the example of Jesus Christ. Leadership is a stewardship from God. (Mal. 3:17; Ps. 103:13; Col. 3:21; 1 Pet. 3:7) A man should also be subject to the laws of the government. (Romans 13) The man and wife, (and hence kids) should also submit to each other and respect opinions, tastes, and views, as long as they are of the word.

The woman is called to be keeper at home- meaning she is to run the household in domestic affairs: cooking, cleaning, teaching kids (primarily- I want my husband to be fully committed to teaching our kids at home and pray he would want to take part in that); basically becoming more like a Proverbs 31 woman every day. This doesn’t mean she can’t “have a job”  it simply means her #1 priority should be home. My mom is really a Proverbs 31 woman! My mom and I have a business of sorts- every Tuesday we make 14 dozen cookies and my dad sells them at work. It’s extra income. It’s “working willingly with our hands”. My mom gets up early to start the laundry and she often stays up late to finish things. She is known for her artistic ability (especially working on VBS decorations, where she happens to be right now), her cooking, her get up and go spirit. People at church talk about her highly. She is frugal with our money, so much so, we have surplus of things. That frugality leads us to never do without (we are the thrift store junkies, but we have the nicest, largest, CHEAPEST wardrobes around, I’d say) I could go on, but you probably get the point. She is very submissive to Dad, her hubby, whom she’s been married to for over 20 years. Aww…

*ahem*

Father/husbands should oversee the family well; and do so biblically, gently, and firmly. He must also realize that everyone has an opinion, and his opinion may not line up the wife’s or kids’.

Now, back to the story I was telling about the dress. If my dad would have said “I don’t like that pattern on you, it looks outdated…” It would have been a matter of personal preference, and hyper-patriarchy if he told me to obey immediately without protest. But since he directly said “I don’t like the cut of the top part and how it draws attention to your bust,” I knew right away what exactly was wrong- and that it wasn’t right. Since my dad noticed something I’d overlooked completely, I figured the other guys at church would probably notice, too. I didn’t want to “accidentally” ”entice” a dude when I knew I shouldn’t be even wearing something enticing. And, since the Bible tells us women to be modest and cover up what should be covered ,-and I knew I shouldn’t cause any brother in Christ to lose sight of Christ if I could help it- I decided to do what I knew was right. I changed my outfit.

So, was my dad a hyperpatriarch or a biblical patriarch?

You can’t expect to submit to your husband one day if you can’t submit to your dad now. It’s not always going to be that BIG thing. It will more than likely be a small thing.

A Standard For Encouraging and Dealing With Guys

I’d like to share with you some resources I just added to my library.

Preparing to Be a Helpmeet ~ Debi Pearl  Talks of types of guys, types of girls, and what each type should do to prepare for the guy she will most likely catch.

Answering the Guy Questions (hereafter refered to as “ATGQ”) by Leslie Ludy was an amazing book! It is a quick read, so this book is good for people who want to look at a topic and run off.

Also, “What Our Father Taught Us About Boys” (a CD by the Botkin sisters) is another helpful resource.

All three opened my eyes to how much girls and guys are alike- and how they are so very different, too.

 Boys are people too.  “This may sound funny,” as Anna Sophia said in the CD, “but it is true.”

 We often go from one extreme to the other when it comes to dealing with boys. There are boys I know who are very forward with me, and sometimes I walk away from a conversation wondering “Should I have said that?” and other times I walk away thinking “I wish I had said a lot more.” Other boys I have no reason to talk to, and after awhile, I just began to ignore them. These situations are both wrong. I want to apply some basic principles:

>Do dress nicely, modestly, and stylishly, but not FOR them. ATGQ talks of respecting their future wives and your future husband by keeping hidden what should be hidden. And remember, if there are many guys there, there are many future wives, too. Don’t expect anything until you are of marriagable age and the guy has asked for your hand through your dad!

>Don’t chatter mindlessly. Guys understand you more than you think. According to Preparing to Be A Helpmeet, they are always watching and listening; even if not for romantic purposes. They will know you by your words. Discontinue fillers, crude slang, and random chatter about yourself.

Don’t EVER manipulate. For example: Angela likes Kyle, but Kyle doesn’t think Angela would make a very good wife. He is not interested. But, Angela, seeing him ignore her is not acceptable. She wants him to notice her and sets up a date trap to get him alone with her in her car. This led to other things, and Kyle didn’t really want Angela in the first place. This is called defrauding. The girl was taking what was not hers, doing things she had no business doing, and initiating things when it was not her place.

This action is not only displeasing to God, but it reflects badly on you. Manipulative women are pushy, and once married, will push their husbands. Read Proverbs 7 for more about a wicked, manipulative woman.

Don’t ignore them. I have a knack for doing this, and it frustrates me! Even if guys are being pushy, greet them with a quiet smile, and if annoyed, let them or others do the talking so you don’t explode or pour mindless chatter on them. I was recently followed around almost everywhere by a certain guy. I’d be walking, then turn around and there he was. I’d feel goosebumps on my neck and he’d be watching me intently from several hundred yards away. When I finally bumped into him face to face, my mom was with me, and she was able to do the talking. Thank goodness for parents and the chance to apply the truths right away!

I hope you will consider these resources and add them to your library! They are priceless, and they could change your life.  Remember our highest goal is not to snag a gent, or to please the guys in our lives; it’s about becoming a woman who is worth “far above rubies”. (See Proverbs 31:10-31)

Oh Joy! Quotes and Notes!

~~Little Paragraphs and Deep Thoughts, Big Facts and Scrawly Notes That Churn ’Round In My Noggin~~

“Legalism is merely the futile attempt to do in our own strength what the Spirit of God means to accomplish on our own behalf.” ~ Leslie Ludy Set Apart Femininity

The form in which ideas are expressed affects what those ideas will be. (The MEDIUM is the METAPHOR) ~ Neil Postman Amusing Ourselves To Death

If you asked 2o good men today what they though was the highest of the virtues, 19 of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christains of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philosophical importance. The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not of primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian view of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  ~ CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

It is a sin to be dumb! ~ John Stonestreet- Summit lecture

A real woman is a woman who recognizes that she has been exquisitely and perfectly created by a loving God for a unique purpose. Out of geniune gratitude, awe and a desire to please her Maker, a real woman joyfully embraces her femininity and submits every aspect of her identy to God’s original and unique design for her…Unlike feminists, we know God’s design for women. This gives us the upper hand. Will we use it? ~ Elizabeth Botkin So Much More

America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within. ~ Josef Stalin (from the opening of the documentary, Agenda) And what’s happening in our world???

The flood of rampant homosexuality will not ruin a nation. Why? Because rampant homosexuality is a sign that the nation is already ruined! ~ John Stonstreet Summit lecture

Godly womanhood, the very plance sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other type of woman: beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women. But seldom do we hear of godly women- or of a godly man either, for that matter. We believe women come nearer to fulfilling their God-given funtion in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife, than to be Miss America. It is a greater acheivement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old fashioned, than to be ultra modern, The world has enough womee who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs women who are pure. We need women, and men too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct. ~ Peter Marshall

When God’s Spirit is given His rightful place in a young woman’s life, He transforms her personality to reflect His beauty… He can overtake any kind of personality. . .You decrease, so that He might increase…~  Leslie Ludy The Lost Art of True Beauty      (This book was a great book for me. I tend towards shy, and for the first time, I realized I could go outside of myself- types are just types… but I recently went to http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp to take a personality test anyway. The test revealed my weaknesses and strengths. I am an INTJ – Which type are you?)

The Baha’i faith believes in one God, but there are many ways to seek/experience God. Minimize theological differences and work together for harmony of faiths, freeing slaves and seeking justice. Affirmative action. Socail Justice. Service to humanity is highest goal. Baha’i believes in one God in one person- unitarian theism- it’s roots are in Islam, but they also accept YAH, Jesus, and Brahma as the same person- these are just other names. ~Len Woods      (Is the new Zach Hunter “Be the Change” movement founded in Baha’i? Whether he knows it or not, unknowingly, yes. The affirmative action movement is combining various religions to do things in God’s name. Is there a way to do hard things the wrong way? Yes! Baha’i followers will be among those to whom God will say “Depart… I never knew you…” Pluralism is one of the worst of the false worldviews).

To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward event. The best informed man is not necessarily the wisest. The wise man will seek to acquire the best knowledge- to recognize the significance in the factual is wisdom. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer (He is a good writer, and I like his “Cost of Discipleship”, though his theology on salvation was messed up…)

“We live in a dictatorship of relativism… what people say and do becomes normal, but not right.” ~Scott Klusendorf.

“Waiting for Godot is the Humanist’s dream. It’s about two guys waiting for a friend who never comes. Notice what the friend’s name is… GODot.” John Stonestreet on Beckett plays. (Seriously, look them up. They are hopeless)

“For I seek not to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order I can understand, study, and learn. “

Ideas have history, they come from somewhere. Ideas have feet, they will go somewhere. Ideas have consequences: they will do something to you or for you. Doc Noebel

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out it has no meaning. Just as if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would have no meaning. ~ CS Lewis

In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair. The sin that believes in nothing cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, remains for nothing, and has nothing for which it will live for or die. ~Dorothy Sayers (Sounds like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World- a place so hedonist and so limited by… love)

This so-called tolerance is nothing but a huge indifference.  ~Alexis de Tocqueville

“We are all part of one. Intellect is error…” ~Bhagwhan Shree Rajneesh - (Haha If we are all part of ‘one’, how did we get away from that oneness into many religions? Just asking, Mr. Rajneesh)

Sloppy language makes sloppy thought possible. ~Michael Bauman

Be the first you, not the second me. Education is learning to think, indoctrination is teaching you how to think. ~Michael Bauman.

The probability of life originating from an accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a print shop. ~ Edwin Conklin

He that knows nothing will believe anything.

If God wants to use you, he wants to use the real you. Not the person you want to be. God doesn’t use imaginary people. He wants you to be who He made you. Christians should not feel guilty by this… they are fogiven. What we feel is conviction.  Rowan Gillson (IPS)

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Read as many books as you can- I often wander the aisles of the library and pull of non-fiction books, take them home, and read them completely. You’ll never know how much you can know until you start to learn.

Stay At Home Daughter

Part One

  People won’t like the fact you are going to live at home until you marry.

Fact.

Expect their disapproval, but don’t be discouraged by it.

Prepare answers!

  There’s a passel of myths swirling around the church community and abroad, tricking people into thinking our time at home is a time of… laziness. Unless a stay at home daughter is making no contributions to the family household whatsoever, this daughter is not wasting her time at all. People at church grill me almost every week because, well, I’m weird. And weird (to them) means sheltered, narrow-minded, stupid, and maybe even lazy. Some of the questions I’m asked are:

  “Don’t you want to have a life?” “Do you feel like your parents are forcing this on you?” “What about college? Do you mean you aren’t going away?” “Maybe you’re just afraid of the real world.” “Why not move out and get an apartment when you’re graduated?” “What if you’re dad and mom die?” “Maybe your parents are making you do this because they know you’re not ready and are naïve?” “How can you say you like living at home?” “Don’t you want to learn life skills?” “You won’t know what’s new in technology and in the culture if you’re not in it!” “What? You’re graduated/graduating?” “What about socialization?!”

  I’d like to attempt to destroy these myths and give you an idea of how to go about answering similar questions that may be asked of you.

  “Don’t you want to have a life?”

I usually laugh, because I find this question forthright and hilarious. I ask them to define “life” and what “life” entails. Remember: the battle over ideas is a battle over the definition of words- when words lose their meaning, people lose their lives (and debates). Life, to them, is a fun-filled, outing based, social time where a girl spends her single time growing socially, shirking her duties at home. “Life” means that I should not be ‘stuck’ inside a house all day. “Life” is all about me!

  Life, in God’s definition is serving others, learning all I can before some guy steals me from my mom and dad , and getting a grasp on reality: LIFE is not about FUN, is not FAIR, or is of things FRIVOLOUS, nor is it based on crammed social agendas! My mom told me recently that life is not about the next great thing to look forward to: it’s about looking forward to the next thing God tells you to do. How true.

 “Do you feel like your parents are forcing you to do this?”

Not at all. My dad is really one who says “Whatever you do is fine, honey,” in most situations. He would not force me to do anything- unless it is something that I would benefit from, like sticking out a class at a co-op, or when I was younger eating all my veggies. My mom likes loves to see me carry out my convictions and obey the Holy Spirit. She is full of guidance, and is definitely one of my best friends; but I came to discover the idea of Stay at Home Daughterhood by myself, through reading.

 After being at home for so long, they assume your parents have an attachment problem and will not let you go! You can help this by one verbal move; but it is hard to make someone change their mind about you.

Simply speak of your commitments as your own. Don’t say “My dad wants me to wear skirts.” “My mom doesn’t want me to go to this activity.” Make your commitments your own. “I prefer skirts, they are more modest.” “That activity would not benefit me.” This will erase the idea of “bondage” into parents passing on convictions, or a ”teach them to your children” outlook, or even “indoctrination”. Proving the commitments are accepted and fine by your book doesn’t make your parents look like captors.

Suggested resource list-(do in order )

1. Read: So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Listen to the CD by these girls: Strength and Dignity for Daughters

Watch: Return of The Daughters

2. Joyfully at Home by Jasmine Baucham (I really like this book, I apparently have a lot in common with Jasmine, so it really really hit home for me)

Watch: Dominion Oriented Daughters (Geoffrey Botkin)

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I, again, ask those who are leaving book-long comments meant to stir up rabble rousers for the convention to S-T-O-P.

This is our family’s final year @ Midwest Homeschool Convention (unless they invite Ken Ham next year and allow AiG to display in the exhibition hall…). I’m excited to be going (though bittersweet, because of the grim events happening concerning AiG). I will be posting pictures and notes over the weekend, so be sure to check back!

Fly Around The Room Like A Bird and Spray Paint The Moon Green…

Augustine’s view of God was like that- or so Pelagius thought. God can make the rules- but since he’s God, he can keep the rules. We can’t. We’re ‘massa perditions’- lumps of sin.

If I told you to fly around like a bird, it would be very funny and you’d think me to be halfway to the nut house. But, if a professor at college told you to do these things, and said you’d fail if you were unable, you’d probably get frustrated and leave. Nobody could spray paint the moon green- much less fly around the room like a bird…

  Recently, I delved into the Augustine vs. Pelagius matter (what? My library doesn’t have Pelagius???), and I’m quite… entertained by it. People have argued this for centuries, and if you’re not familiar with the issue, and you’d like a brief summary of the argument, pay attention to this dialogue:

  Augustine: Hey God, since you’re up there as a known fact, how about you make up some rules. Only, since you’re God, you make sure you keep them- cuz we sure can’t…it’s impossible!”

  Pelagius: Hey buddy- are you saying that God would make laws He knows you can’t keep? And punishes you for not keeping them? What’s up with that??? Is that even right?

Augustine: Of course, that’s exactly right.

(bold- adapted from dear old Dr. Bauman)

 This ages old argument intrigues me. Filius Dei vs. Massa Perditions (Children of God vs. Lumps of Sin)

  There are too many different sides to each story…

This battle is one not over God’s nature, but I believe it’s over human nature.

Ah well, to elaborate on this topic would take fifty lifetimes. I’d encourage you to get lost in this matter, too. Read the books. Study the people. Conclude for yourself…

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  During my break, so much GOOD happened! But, I doubted a lot for several weeks. I felt like doing nothing, I felt very sick, and bad news kept coming. There was good news, though. An answer… but more on that later.

   “Winter… what a pretty word for such a long, dreary time…”

  We thought it was over, the feet of snow that had piled up around us was melted, the field were flooding, the air was warm- if you’d call 35 degrees warm!

  Then the temperatures plunged below the 20 degree mark, and took my high spirits with it. The snow came again, ice too. The ice came around my heart and tempted me to become bitter at, well, everything. The woman I thought was going to be a nice lady to talk to and learn from ended up just being nosy and jealous because she wanted to know what it was like being a “sheltered” homeschooler- and wondering why I was so good when her foster daughter was so bad. 

The women at church talked of meeting once a month for lunch, {exciting prospect}, but I learned they only met to discuss “Christian” romance novels {Will Levi Miller catch Susanne Zook? Find out now in this cut and dried yet excitingly distracting new Amish romance!!}. My chair was taken away at choir and I was moved to an area far away from the action. The news came I wasn’t going to the internship came that Tuesday. I was not asked (once again) to be in the church’s Resurrection Sunday drama. I sat alone every Sunday in Sunday school. Nobody talked to me, people purposed to leave me out. To rub it in, a lady told me to “bloom where I was planted”. What if I haven’t been planted? Or, if I have… what if I’m not getting a chance for sun, water, and Miracle Gro? Maybe I’m wilting?

 I re-read Contentment by Lydia Brownback over two nights, reading the verses and soaking up the thoughts. It blessed me, and had me asking questions about my life. Your comments, dear readers, also helped to motivate me to seek God’s will. 

 I decided to wholeheartedly see what God had in store for me. I decided to try my hand at being patient and waiting for my time to serve.

  It seemed God blessed me for that decision. On a night where once again, I felt like crying my eyes out and blaming Him for everything, I heard a whisper in my ear: “Trust me.”

  So I did.

I woke up that morning and to my utter amazement, I felt… joy. For the first time since that awful week full of bad news for me, I actually felt remotely happy. I sprang out of bed and leapt around my room listening to the Getty’s, over to my window to throw open the curtains wide. A view like none other greeted me. Overnight, the snow and ice had all melted, and there, sitting on the roof of the neighbor’s house were two robins! Spring was on its way! It was an exhilarating sight. The goldfinches and doves had returned as well. A few days after that, the doves began to coo- a glorious sign of spring. SPRING!! I haven’t heard that wonderful sound since September… ah!

  My thirst for books struck anew- if that is possible. More, more, more, MORE! I’ve re-read my whole collection in a matter of nearly 2 weeks. Hungry to learn. Hungry for more… I’ve checked out every single book at the library on the Russian communist revolt of 1917-1991. I want to learn! I’m going to study every single major event in history this summer.

  It seemed encouragement and hope was popping up around the corner- little girls at AWANA hugged me and told me they loved me, and that God loved me too. A little deaf girl hung on my arm, smiling up at me with an unparalleled cuteness. I signed “I Love You” to her, and she signed back “I love you more more more.”

  There were spectacular sunsets to behold, wonderful songs to be written, verses to commit to memory. There were friends to meet, Sparks to lead, and fellowships to attend. God kept me busy, indeed. He gave me so much more than He’s ever taken away! Has God ever really taken anything away from me other than my sin? I wondered. Every good gift comes from above…all things work together for good…

Even when things happened that were bad to me, I realized- nothing is bad if it means I get to grow closer to the King of Kings. Really think about that name… King OF Kings. He wants me? Why would He want me- or even want to do good for me? I wondered what the “good” was.

 The day or so after the news came about the internship; a song touched my heart- one that I had never heard before. It’s called “A Greater Yes.” After listening to that song, I wondered, “What’s the greater yes to all this? It seems so fragmented, it doesn’t make sense… I’m confused!!” Everything was seemingly working together for Iowa… but now what?

   The answer came a few days later:

“Dear Laura,

“We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted to attend our worldview camp in Wisconsin…”

This August, God is calling me to Summit once again. All that working together for what seemed like that opportunity for interning was working for Summit.

That’s not all…

For the past several years, I’ve asked to teach Jr. Church and at VBS, but when I was 13, I was told I had to be16. When I was 16, I was told 18. This past week, I was given not only one but THREE teaching jobs. I am teaching at VBS in July, Jr. Church during the month of July, and JR. Jr. church in November. These jobs would not have been possible if I were in Iowa…

I’ve worked on my book, getting it into a more organized format. But, I only write about 5-6,000 words about a topic and can’t think of anything more to say! Not sure what I’ll do about that. I seem to have idea bursts that go away after 20 minutes of typing.

  I’ve been reading, studying, and analyzing my collection of Clive Staples Lewis- taking notes, reading critiques online. I highly recommend the Weight of Glory. [A good order to read CS Lewis in is:  Mere Christianity, Abolition of Man, Problem of Pain, Screwtape Letters, Miracles, and Weight of Glory. After that, I’d have to say any order, because they do not expound or require prerequisites].

  I’d also like to order as many DVDS and CDs from Vision Forum as I can! I am almost being overtaken by this hunger to LEARN!!!!!! I want to especially buy the Homestead Blessings series- if any of you have a set or one DVD, pretty pwease tell me about it. Or, recommend a CD or a book- if you’d like.

 Now I close this {really long} return post by saying~ I’m back! And I shan’t leave you again… until August. Oh, and this year, you can send me mail/letters and packages [hopefully full of letters, Twizzlers and Cheezits] while I’m at camp- address and details to come later. I love mail- and getting a lot of mail at camp would be so wonderful! Really, it would. I’m serious. {not to hint or anything}

PS~ I’m going to be at Midwest Homeschool Convention, and am planning on meeting up with a Bright Lights leader I met through blogging- Allison. If anyone else from bloggy-land will be there, please let me know- I’d love to meet you. Don’t think you’ll just run into me eventually- cuz this conference is HUGE (rumored to be 18,000 people there this year). The place is enormous- it takes about 30-45 minutes to get through the main halls from one back corner to kitty front corner. 

  Yahoo! I feel as though I could cram my brain with just about anything!

{insert a very happy, contented sigh right here}

It feels good to press that publish button again…

In the announcer-voiced words of my radio dad:

*We now return to our regularly scheduled programming*

Pressure To Be “Smart” and “Successful”

A good education [through books, documentary, magazines, sermons, teachers, elders, and the like] provokes thought.

The teachers don’t think for you.

They don’t shove watered down indoctrination down your throat.

They let you do the thinking.

They let you decide for yourself what conclusion makes sense.

If you’re not asking good questions, you’re not thinking. If you’re not thinking, you’re not getting educated.

It’s that simple.

Colleges really don’t care if you exit their campus  with knowledge. They want your money and your heart sitting obediently in their laps. Universities divide and conquer by belittling, student “organizations” and the coveted A… which is only placed on the papers that spit back what your professor told you.

Colleges are out to indoctrinate you- they aren’t big promoters of free thinking and speech. Look at all the colleges that have hate speech codes! The college campus is a dictatorship of relativism, a horrible dominion or atheism, with a whatever floats your boat, goes. {exception: Christianity} You won’t find the dean very sympathetic to your complaints of low grades on biology papers. They won’t tolerate your ‘intolerance’ (which, by the way,  is intolerance).

The University was once a pinnacle point to be if you wanted to become a thinker… a free thinker… but now, they are places for liberals to produce minions,  the young to learn Communist doctrine, and a haven evolution studies.  If you think about the whole open-minded, tolerant issue, they are the ones that are narrow minded and intolerant!

Because we hold college so high on our list of great things to do, success becomes synonymous with a piece of parchment with words that mean “Sue Public is educated.”

Let me tell you about some people who didn’t attend university, but became great leaders, thinkers, and speakers. Some of these people have character that is amiable, people I’d like to be like…

Abraham Lincoln~ Even though he started the whole tax thing, the admirable Mr. Lincoln’s fight against slavery and steadfast faith in God is what got him to the Civil War Presidency.  Not a degree. President Lincoln was a first rate speech giver, though quiet and thoughtful by nature.  This man self taught himself trigonometry and algebra, and simply read books to become a lawyer. That’s thinking.

Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin~ Homeschooled authors of So Much More, co-stars of Return of the Daughters and Homeschool Dropouts did not attend college.

Andrew Jackson~  This US president was homeschooled and taught himself law, made it to congress, and was a judge.

Ben Franklin ~ A little eccentric in his style, Ben Franklin never went to school! His mother and father taught him, later on he learned through discussion with the people in his city.

Christopher Columbus~ Be thankful that this guy had the initiative to studiy maps and geography, figures and languages, because without that, he might not ever had made it the “Indies”. Perhaps we would be European? Though he didn’t discover America, as the fable tells us, he did discover the fact of another continent.

Henry Ford~ He didn’t invent the car, but he did invent the assembly line. This man who grew up just miles from my house didn’t even think to go to college, and studied human actions and time saving qualities until he came up with the assembly line!

Joyce C Hall~ Started Hallmark Cards after spending his time working odd jobs to supplement the family’s income. His faith in God propelled him to step out in faith selling cards… and eventually he started the business. He never went to college, but studied some business on the side

Rachael Ray ~ Though she annoys me to kingdom come, it is amazing that she never went to college, attended culinary school, or took a formal cooking class. She taught herself.

Sarah Mally~ Founded Bright Lights, a discipleship group for girls; leads Strong in the Lord Conferences; and wrote a book. Never went to college, and the same with her brother and sister, whom she wrote another book with.

Thomas Edison~  This guy was homeschooled, and worked on the railroad at age 12. Studied subjects that interested him, which developed into the invention of the movie camera, lightbulb, and others.

There are so many more degree-less people out there who are just as smart (or smarter) than those with degrees!

Going off to college is actually not Biblical. Sure, young adults back in the day went to a group learning session or two a week, but it didn’t require them learning away from home and living at the school. They came and went and weren’t required to believe everything that their teachers did. The teachers were elders who were wise, skilled, and old: with lots of experience behind them. This is the best kind of teaching! If they wanted to learn specifics, they did live with a relaitve or dear friend who knew a lot about the subject at hand.  Don’t leave your father’s house to go live in a place full of deceivers and mockers. Why should a Christian girl purposely immerse herself with these kind of people?

There are alternatives to going to live on a college campus. Here are some things that help you gain knowledge the right way!

1. College Plus ~ a system that I am planning to do once I graduate this spring. This is an online course through Thomas Edison State and Bryan Colleges. Using CLEP tests and distance learning, you stay at home and work through your own pace. I’ve heard of some people who get their degree by age 15, 16 or before they graduate! When I first heard that, I was shocked, thinking “But they are too young!”

That is the wrong kind of thinking. Just because you’re 18 it doesn’t make you magically ready for higher learning! That is the Darwinian view that “young can’t understand because they haven’t evolved…so we need different levels- segregated by knowledge…” or the Communist view of “divide and weaken, then conquer…” (This is why churches have 5th grade Sunday school, 4th grade Sunday school… break up the family, weaken the church) Age doesn’t equal smarts!

2. Ask to have an elder, wise person to write down things that they wished they’d known at your age. This is very helpful. There are a lot of older ladies at my church who randomly give me great (and I mean GREAT) advice! Our church has a mentoring ministry for older to teach the younger. Though I think parents should teach the topics, I think it’s nice for those who have families who won’t teach their kids. Some topics our church covers are: canning, sewing/mending, knitting/crocheting, mechanics, gardening, cooking/baking, home repair, etc.

3. Start a home journal with recipes, ideas for cleaning and design, notes to self in the future… focus on your home!

4. Do an internship! I’ve applied to go intern with the Mally family in Cedar Rapids IA this summer. If I am accepted, (which I am praying fervently that I am!!), I will gain experience in running a business, organizing conferences, leading ministry effectively and efficiently, and other little things like sharpening my initiative (living away from parent’s reminders to do my laundry, haha), improving budgeting, and smart grocery shopping. I will be living away from home, but it is with a very strong Christian family who will support what my parents have taught me and strengthen my walk with God, not tear down or mock. This is ideal! I have several friends who are going to internships this summer. A few are going to intern at the Michigan capitol as assistants to state house reps, one is going to the Associated Press for a photography course, one is going to work with a designer, one is going to live at his friend’s farm and learn farming all summer, and another is going to a local photography business and still living with his parents. There are so many internship opportunities out there, and the best news is, many of them are free or of little cost!

5. Read. Read. Read some more. Read again and again and again. Don’t’ just read anything. Read something that’s got something profitable in it. Then read it again. And again. Until you know the book so well you could explain the whole gist of it to another person. I re-read all of my hundreds of books at least three times through the whole year. (If I get accepted for that internship, I may haul a bunch out with me) I am always carrying a good book around with me. I started a book blog for that purpose:

6. Community college- You stay at home and attend classes during the day or evening. Most of the graduates from my church attend a community college, and it works well. The only downside is, you may have a prof who thinks you’re stupid because your faith. Since you are near to your parents and church, you’ll be able to go home and discuss possible rebuttals – easy!

7. Ellerslie School of Honor ~ This is like a Christian college without being a real college. There is no writing, math, or geography or whatever else ‘real colleges’ teach. Eric and Leslie Ludy teach you about living the Christian life and remaining set apart- it lasts for an entire semseter. I’d like to go here someday!

8. Summit Semester/Oxford ~ Study in Oxford or in CO, but this is a more academic semester for serious student who want to think. I know a couple people who’ve done this, and they said they started out asking a couple of questions every day- and left asking hundreds every day. It really got them thinking! Plus, the teachers often won’t give you straight answers, they direct you to a pile of books to bring yourself to a conclusion.

9. Rivendell Sanctuary~ This is relatively new, so you may want to check out their website. This is a basics course, and there are opportunities to study abroad. I’ve heard it’s like Summit Semester… only in Minnesota (no mountains?! oh man…)

10 Attend a lot of conferences throughout the year. Homeschooling conferences usually don’t care if you’re a graduate, and you can learn a lot about teaching kids just by sitting in on some of the parent’s sessions. I’ve always loved going to conferences, and this year, I’m going to Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincy.

11. Other online courses, like Vision Forum’s occasional writing courses. I didn’t participate in Mrs. Morecraft’s writing course, but I heard it was excellent!

12. DVDs~ Order as many DVD documentaries as you can, watch them all and take notes. Start with Answers in Genesis, then check out Vision Forum

13. CD’s Order as many CDs as you can. Tomorrow’s Forefathers has several great ones, as does Vision Forum. Listen to sermons and lectures online (a favorite pastime, I’ve learned so much!)

14. Read three or four different translations of the Bible together. See which one is most correct. The NIV Bible is actually no different than the Jehovah’s Witness Bible. The NIV just has footnotes. ESV, NKJV, KJV, and God’s Word Translation are good to compare. Write down the differences and see what changes have been made. You’ll never know when you’ll need to argue against some faulty idea.

15. Take advantage of any class your church may offer. Bible study? Attend it if you can! Nutrition or cooking? Go! Women’s prayer and fellowship? Give it a try! Don’t grow weary in going, even you think you may not learn anything. If possible, start a singles women group and discuss the book Sacred Singleness. Encourage others to overcome their false view of marriage and singleness, and serve together in your community. Make a quilt and send it to a missionary in Sudan or another refugee-filled place. I remember doing this with some friends before I knew what Sudan Christians were facing. Do something that counts!

There are a lot more options out there!

Read… and you will be educated…

More Thoughts on Your Body, Health, and Abilities

Accepting God’s design for you 

…is impossible…

…is hard…

…is not easy…

…will be hard, but very possible.

Don’t stand in the mirror and say “I love my _____” until you’re blue in the face, because it does nada. Well, strike that. You’ll end up with laryngitis, because you’ll have to say it a long time before you believe it. If you ever believe it…

Remember when I shared the statistic “Only 2% of women think they are beautiful” ? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: WHY DON”T YOU FEEL GORGEOUS WHEN YOU CAN BUY BOTOX/LIPSTICK/TUMMY COMPRESSORS/[random beauty product]?

The answer I gave you was MEDIA.

But now I’m going to get on with the problem of comparing yourself to others. I’m not going to lie… I do this myself sometimes. I used to do this nearly everytime I met someone who looked somewhat smaller than me and wonder “Is she thinner than I am? Dang it!” I’m still learning to accept God’s design for me, but I thought I’d share what I do know…

Life is NOT a competition! If somebody’s skinnier than you, so what! Either they are sinfully anorexic or God made them to be that way! If your friends can run faster and farther than you, God didn’t make you to run like them. I think if we all were 5’7″ 110 pounds, brown hair, green eyes, with the same athletic abilties, life would be very BOOORRRIIIIIINNNGG. God made variety and diversity…

Your worth is not in your ability/looks. You do not have to perform well to be valuable. Just being yourself (‘being yourself’ as in your own genuine talent) is acceptable to God. Do try to look or act like somebody else. I’ve noticed in ballet class some younger girls will start copying the older ones in the motions. Since we elder ones have been dancing longer, we know the steps well and add our own ‘flair’ to them (such as a head tilt or a flick of the wrist). I believe trying to be just like somebody else is wrong (unless you’re playing Simon Says, and life ain’t a game of Simon Says!!!).

God made man and woman and said  “It’s very good!” (Until the sin nature came into play… ) By good, I think He meant “I like this” or, “Hey, I’m pleased with how this turned out and don’t want to change anything about it!” Well, if your waist is 36 inches around, know that God doesn’t want you any other way! If you’re too short for basketball, know that God made you short for a reason. I’m learning to rejoice that I am the way I am. I find myself happier and more content when I am rejoicing.

If you’re thinking you want to lose weight, ask yourself “Do I really need to?” Seriously… if you’re at a healthy weight, don’t try to diet. But if you really think it’s time to change a few habits and shed some pounds, the key is self control. Also, look at the sodium on packaging. Try to keep your main dish to 500 mg. or less of sodium, eat lower sodium food, and don’t salt your food. We started doing this three years ago and I dropped three sizes. (I was heading towards chubby and actually lost 20 pounds of pure water weight!) You’ll realize how bloated you used to be and think “Man did I really eat that stuff?” BIG PS: It won’t be easy for a while, you’ll crave salt like MAD!

Your size is just a number. I have a little trouble with this one! I find it hard to buy a pair of jeans if the size is bigger! Even though I know brands vary in their sizing, I often will not buy a larger size. I am learning to let it go and just buy things that are modest, nice, and feminine. This is a toughy, but you must realize your size is just a number.

Knowing God has designed me to be the way I am is sometimes hard for me to accept. Chances are, it’s hard for you, too!

What are your thoughts on these thoughts? I’m sure you have something to say!

Desires, Choices, and Young Men

Do you have a “husband list?” I do! ” The Husband List” is the term I use for the ever growing list of character qualities, physical abilities, and so on I desire in a husband. As of this month, the list is in the 300′s. (Dear future hubby I have yet to meet: NO PRESSURE!)

Most of us want a classic gentleman. We desire an honest, hardworking lad who is strong of mind and body. Someone who is forgiving and full of love. A man who won’t compromise and stands alone. A guy who is intelligent and funny. Someone who will never let us feel lonely again.

I was thinking last night about how often God places desires in our heart. I can honestly say most, if not all, of the list is a manifestation of the desires God has placed in my heart.  I know God has placed these desires in my heart to be a wife and mother someday. The more I thought about this, I realized God places those desires in our hearts to draw us closer to Himself.  No man on earth could possibly fulfill every single want and need we have. He may pass “The Husband List” test, but we all understand there’s quite a few things a man cannot do. Man cannot solve every problem that comes up. Men do not know the future. Men fail. Men lie. Men are sinful. In fact, all humans have a sinful nature- and none of us can change the fact.

So what’s with these desires? I don’t think we come up with them ourselves. because we’re supposed to look for a man with character like Jesus! God’s Son!

God cannot fail us. He is our true Prince Charming. He places these desires for a true Prince to bring us closer to Him. As young women, our deepest desire is to be married someday. I’d like to encourage you to run into your true Prince Charming’s arms. He is the Gentleman of your dreams. He can fulfill every longing and need if we just trust Him. He is enough to satisfy- no doubt about it. I believe if we learn to love Christ first- our intense desire for earthly romance will become more controllable. If we do not have Christ first, we will be unhappy. We know that much is true. So, when we settle for less by dating around and not waiting for God’s best, we will feel unfulfilled and unhappy. I thought about what would happen if you did marry ‘the right one’ God had shown you, but Christ is not your first love. Your husband is. Would you be happy? I honestly don’t think so. When God puts a longing in your heart, it is with purpose. When you stray from it, and don’t run to Him first for fulfillment, I can’t imagine being content.

Are there godly men out there? Yes, I can name some. But, are there perfect men out there? No. Don’t bother thinking there are and stop pursuing them. It is an illusion that is portrayed in every Hollywood romance. The real world is full men who err, who sin. Not that all men are bad, but they are simply bad by nature. As I thought through this, I also realized that your husband should understand that Christ is first in your life. And that should build you up together.

But we too often allow our desires to overtake us. Wild thoughts turn into emotions, and we start doing things we shouldn’t. Acting on the Spirit’s leading, parent’s direction, and experiences prior, we make wiser choices. Our parents know what is good for us, we know from common sense and past good or bad situations what we should and shouldn’t do. Ultimately, the Holy Spirit is working for good in our lives to the glory of God. But choosing to act on emotions, which change by the hour, our choices go skiing downhill.

Manipulation begins when we act on how we feel. Young women like to start things. They initiate conversations, friendships, clubs, and fun outings. They intiate studies of the Word of God. There’s nothing wrong with getting things started. Women have an influence on men that most of us do not realize. Women help men lead well, but they can help men lead badly. When we stop letting men lead, and begin to initiate and lord over them, it is safe to say that this is manipulation and going against God’s design.

The thing we should never initiate is a romantic relationship with a guy. When we like a guy, that attraction overtakes common sense. We find ourselves seeking out this man, ways to be near him, know him, know about him, and know his family. Our thoughts turn more towards him instead of Christ: these thoughts are based on emotion. Our emotions are strong, unpredictable, and contrasting. The more I think about manipulation, the more dangerous it seems! How can we make decisions based on our feelings? Feelings come from the heart, which is basically sinful. Jeremiah 17:9~ The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it? Our heart cannot be fixed to be perfect, and make all the right choices. We cannot trust our emotions. But we can trust the Holy Spirit. When we draw closer to him, we make better choices, big decisions become easier, and we tend to hesitate less. Boys do appreciate when we stand back and let them do the intiating. Manipulation is wrong, dishonest, and demeaning. Please, please, please don’t get impatient and give in!

We must use self-control when dealing with everyone: including guys. I know of a time when my dad (who does things like most men: the hard way) was called inside to eat dinner. Our family is unusual: we eat around the table, as a family, every night. Sometimes one of us is visiting a friend’s, at work, or in this case, a little late. We had been waiting, sitting at the table for a few minutes, and my dad came in from the yard. He took his time washing his hands in the bathroom. Then, he went the opposite direction from the dining room and headed into the living room. He started shutting all the curtains, checking the thermostat, etc. As a hungry girl staring at delicious-smelling food, my first instinct was to yell at my dad. Sometimes I do, but this particular time I didn’t. That’s self control- something I still have to work at. But how can we apply self control to our friendships with guys when we can’t excersise it at home? Our parents may be a little backwards according to us, but that’s how they work. You can’t change them and shouldn’t try to, no matter how much you want to. That’s the way it is with young men. Don’t try to go after them and tell them every little thing you like and dislike about them. Apply self-control.

Our ‘Husband Lists’ should not be determined by culture. We’ve all seen the downhill trek that society has been making for the last 75 years. Societies are shaky, they come and go, and are determined by humans. (Back to our sinful nature!) The standards we have should be higher. Way higher. Expectations have hit all time lows- and I don’t expect them to rise anytime soon. With low expectations on us girls, people just expect us to get married to the first moral-but-mediocre dude who asks. Higher standards will look crazy to those around us. Even my Christian friends think I’m crazy when I tell them about my ideas concerning love. They laugh because of high standards. They laugh becasue they’ve never heard of such a thing called courtship. They laugh because they aren’t sure how to respond to a person actually applying God’s Word to all of their life, not just part of it.

But that’s fine by me. I don’t want their approval. I don’t need it! All I want is the smile of Christ and a still small voice saying “Well done.”

Since I am only 16  and single, and have a long way to go in maturing in Christ, these are just thoughts. But really, I have never felt so happy and content since I stopped looking for the one and starting looking to the One. It’s amazing! Pursue Him, He is enough! We do need to have a plan, however. If we don’t- we won’t go anywhere. That plan must be in God’s will. That plan must be seeking to please Him, not gain money and material things for ourselves. Simply act in obedience to the Holy Spirit, and God will show you what you’re going to do next. If your life goal is contrary to that, and getting married is top priority, you’re making a wrong decision.

Don’t look. Prepare. Build Jesus into your life, don’t try to fit Him in here and there. Everything you do should be with His approval. If not, don’t do it.

:: Friends ::

Tuesday was the final meeting at the bible study group I lead before we break for the summer. I decided to talk about friends, as many young ladies are not careful with their choice of friends. Here are some of the points from the lesson:

What makes a good friend?

Proverbs 17:17 ~ A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

A friend will love you when you’re having a “grouchy day” or aren’t feeling well. They will stick with you through anything and will remain loyal. If they simply walk off when you’re having trouble, they aren’t the right type of friends.

Proverbs 27:10a~Do not forsake your friend.

Some choices to make when making friends:

Choose to grow spiritually together. It’s great to have Christian friends! We have an extra special bond with them: we share more than this world in common! I have a friend who shares prayer requests with me, and I share some of my requests with her. Then, we’ll update each other in the weeks following. When you have a friend who shares a passion for God, it edifies both of you.  

Proverbs 27:17~ As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

When iron is whetted against iron, sparks fly as both are turned from blunt to sharp. We should try to keep our friends sharp both spiritually and physically.

Choose to be yourself. Don’t be one person with your first friend, another way with the second, then yet another way with your third friend.  Who you are at home is who you should be with your friends. Life is so easy when you just be yourself.

Choose to be loyal. Don’t flip back and forth between friends. If you can’t make up your mind on who’s your best friend, then make all of your friends equal. Never ignore your friend- especially if you are in a place where you have many friends. Invite all of your friends to sit with you at a dinner, stand with you when you talk to others, and walk around with you. If some of your friends are jealous of you hanging with one person at church, try not to sit your friends. Sit with your parents to avoid showing favorites.

With all kinds of relationships, including friendship, there are going to be minor and major problems, fights, and a time of saying goodbye.  Trouble usually starts with a disagreement about what to do, where to go, how to do it, or something you or she did and the other doesn’t like.

Don’t act as if nothing happened. You must acknowledge the fact that one of your erred. If you know it’s you who was wrong, admit it humbly. Ask forgiveness and make it a point to do right. However, if your friend accuses you of something and you know what you did was Biblically right, ask your parents for direction. If it’s just a petty disagreement about silly things like what to eat, it’s better just defer and don’t be petty along with her. Always be careful with friends who disagree with you. They may end up disagreeing later about bigger issues. Sometimes they are small, and you can live with that. But bigger things, like smoking and partying may be a sign that your friend is the wrong type of friend.

If there’s been a misunderstanding, try as best as possible to keep it between you and her. If others notice a problem and ask what’s happening, say something to the effect of: “There’s been a problem, and we’re working on it.” If they press for details, it would be wise to tell them some details in a way that doesn’t detract from your friend’s testimony. Simply explain things in a polite way and that you’re working things through as best to your abilities. Don’t point out her bad points in the issue. (“She told me that I was a loser!”) That only shows how immature you really are.

Don’t just ‘fall’ into friendships. Pick your friends wisely: after getting acquainted, pray about it and ask your parents for direction. Your friends should have many good qualities – not lots of bad qualities. Don’t be too particular, though, because nobody is perfect. Just be aware that some people are out to tear you down, and ruin your testimony. It’s hard to deal with these kinds of people. Because I don’t know your situation, if you are having problems with these friends whose life goal seems to be to ruin your life, you need to talk to your parents. They are your no. 1 resource for advice and encouragement (after the Bible )

Some facts about friends:

It is better to have an acquaintance who is the right type of friend than a best friend who is the wrong type.

As long as you get along well and have similar beliefs, just about anybody could your friend. (Don’t scratch off those older folks. They are so wise!)

You’re actually about 5 to 10 people away from being friends with everybody. (You know someone, who knows someone else, etc, after you repeat this five to ten times, the last “known someone” should know you. Make sense? It’s true)

The best secret to have is the secret of keeping no secrets.

When I lead the study, I try to include an activity, and this meeting’s activity was ‘friendship duos.’ I made a list of some famous pairs (Adam/Eve; Currier/Ives, Bert/Ernie, etc)  When you stick around a girl for a while, you become recognized as their friend. You both become associated with one another, like when you hear the name Beauty, you think of the Beast. Their reputation becomes your reputation. You need to pay attention and make sure the association you have with a girl is a good one. They think of your name and then think of your friend’s.  Are you a good reflection of her?