Is IBLP a Cult? Yesssss…

I have been contemplating writing about my findings on the IBLP/ATI for quite some time. I’ve decided to share a few of the many links that I have found to be in support of what I’ve observed in the actions of IBLP folk around me. I’ve dealt with the shunning-like tendencies and the snobbery from these people since I’m not part of their “elite” group.  Bill Gothard defines grace incorrectly, so those who are gung-ho about his teachings do not know how to extend grace to others properly. Such snobbery is to be expected.

Yes, they are born again Christians with a passion for the gospel. They just have a bunch of man’s word in with God’s word. They aren’t a different religion- just think of them like independent, fundamental Baptists (“independence”, separation of church and state, KJV “onlyism”); Nazarenes (speaking in tongues, eternal salvation insecurity), and the Jesus-following, salvation through faith Catholics (We want Mary too!). They all still miss the doctrine boat by adding to or misinterpreting the Word of God.

But we’re not talking about IFB, Nazarenes, or faith based Catholics.

Please, dear reader, read a few of these links. You will not be sorry you did!

The tip of the iceberg-

http://donna-theviewfrommywindow.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-stand-against-iblp-being-real.html

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/02/carefully-scripted-lives-my-concerns-about-the-duggars.html

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2003/march/35.77.html

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2011/07/emotionalpurity/

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/04/exploited-innocence/#more

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/01/the-thing-about-purity/

http://watchmansbagpipes.blogspot.com/2011/08/bill-gothards-ati-textbook-examined.html (Specifically, grace being an “attitude”)

http://images.tameion.multiply.multiplycontent.com/journal/item/109?&show_interstitial=1&u=%2Fjournal%2Fitem (Cults)

http://www.mamasheartblog.com/2010/11/vision-forum-patriarchy-and-flds-oh-my-part-1/ (Read all the parts)

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/bill_gothard.htm

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/01/a-response-to-bill-gothard/#more

Where Are the Pants-Wearing Men?

We all know that fella who stalks your online profiles, or the guy who immediately walks up to you and starts a conversation the minute you walk in the door. The guy who sends you emails and asks you detailed questions about your life to the point of irritation. I had a super friendly, outgoing guy friend who has a girlfriend, yet always popped up in Gmail Chat right away as soon as my camera went green, wondering how I was, what I was doing, where I was going, whom I speaking to, and what I was writing about- even I was invisible! AAH!  I had to politely calm him down each day, and sometimes ignore him. He didn’t seem to go away. He just… stayed there. And I wanted him to go away.

But the guy we all desire never comes.

The Hero.

The one with many similar convictions, the same goals, the same ambitions in life, the like-minded spirit that just knows you were made for each other. That guy who has title of “your future husband.”

This past month I put away a Ludy book. It’s called “When Dreams Come True”. It details the hand of God working in Eric and Leslie’s lives before, during, and after their marriage. I found myself cynically asking God bitter questions at every page. “Why aren’t you working in my life like that?” “Why can’t I get married young?”  Before I could finish reading it, I threw the book with a mighty toss to the back of my closet and decided to read “Now and Not Yet” (a book on extended singleness).

All “God will exceed your expectations when it comes to love” books aside; my current ‘predicament’ has me wondering a big question.

Where are the men? 

Looking around me, I see many of them pursuing college degrees; careers; video games; women… but nothing really long term. What does a piece of paper called a degree make you qualified to do? I don’t mind doing college, I think it’s a good idea for both sexes to further education if they want. But why are young folks like us so short-term? Where’s the vision? Where’s the visionary?

It’s a lesson on contentment even if we strongly desire something better. It’s a lesson on patience, even if we don’t know WHAT or WHO we’re waiting for. Possibly, half of us aren’t waiting for anyone at all, or will be divorced at some point in life.

Just because we are “waiting and staying pure” does not mean God will give us a husband.

“I’m afraid of commitment. I don’t want to marry someone, find out they’re not really what I wanted and then get trapped. I mean, what if they end up cheating… and I’m stuck there?” worried David (24), a guy I talked with recently.

“I want to support the girl 100% before I get married,” said James (21), from a small northwestern town. “If I can’t support her for things she needs and wants, I will feel guilty. So why bother?”

“Women are scary. They are either boring or loose it seems. I want someone worth going after. They don’t know how to keep their mouth shut or won’t speak up at all.”  Nate (26).

Commitment and security aside, I’m going to pick up on Nate’s comment, and say: yes. We need to stop worrying about what people think of us and SHUT UP (people are less likely to enjoy your company when you won’t be quiet). We need to stop wondering what we’ll look like if we say what’s on our mind. Just say it, quiet ones! We do go to extremes far too often.

I came across this Dockers ad the other day that made my heart go WOOHOO!

Unfortunately, most pants-wearing men look like…

(So manly?)

Let’s encourage men to wear the pants. Stop over-talking and pointing at yourself, boisterous maidens. Start speaking up and sharing your internal thoughts, shy girls! Let guys be chivalrous, encourage them to be strong. I see so many women snap “I got it” when a guy runs to open a door. Let them open it! At my church, it seems there is a weekly joke about women being better than men. I don’t laugh. Call me pious. Call me prude. But I don’t like to see men being degraded so women can be praised, worshiped and declared better. I want to honor the guys in my life by not laughing at jokes that make them into fools. I laugh at appropriate jokes. (Come on, ya’ll, I like to laugh when it’s fitting!)

I don’t hide from guys. I try to be cordial (not manipulatively so) and friendly. Sometimes guys send me sudden back off signals when I say too much (even if I’m just being polite by asking a general question). Learn how to take a hint, no matter what your motives are. If they think you’re pushy, BACK OFF.

I don’t agree with other girls when they start nagging guys to change their shirts (unless they smell or genuinely look horrible). I don’t act daring to get all the guys’ attention. The neighbor girl, who didn’t even know my brother well, came slinking over to the fence just last week and called “Hey, if you don’t come inside my house, I’m gonna think you don’t love me anymore…”  It was a foolish gesture, seeing she did not know my brother (who is 14) and she is probably…11. Proverbs 7, anyone?

Shut thy brazen lips, ladies!

The importance of speaking with selflessness.

It is so easy to be judgmental of guys around us. We expect them to be polite, funny, pleasant, and even heroic.  I tend to label some young men as “jerks” quite easily. Just the other night I had a joint Skype session with a friend and her brother. Her brother would not speak up much. I told my mom later “He’s kind of a jerk.” Now I wonder if he’s shy around girls.

But, what exactly does our reaction reveal that we are really wanting out of a guy? Hmmm?

When someone doesn’t measure up to our presupposed ideas, we view them differently, and it’s not even their fault.

He didn’t even smile at me… JERK! 

Whoa! Go easy on the guys, ladies.

Today, a lot of guys have been reduced to sports-loving, porn watching, egotistical mirror watchers- and the average Joe isn’t quite a charming guy. I am NOT saying all guys you meet will be like this, but the majority of them are. You can’t change guys. But you CAN encourage them to reach a higher standard.

I enjoy reading sites like http://artofmanliness.com/ and http://manspeak.wordpress.com/category/manly-men-of-history/ because it encourages me that some guys out there really ARE gentlemen to some degree. And every follower of Christ has the potential to be a hero. Don’t discourage! There are still men who wear the pants!

(Quoted guys’ names changed, ages and quotes remain genuine)

Coming in June…

One Single Expectation

~a 30-page E-book on the single life, expectations, changes, and life purpose~

now, an excerpt

   There’s no limit to what you can do, or so you’ve been told. You can be an astronaut, a lawyer, a teacher, a pastor, a farmer, the next American Idol, Miss America, the president of the school board (or, while we’re dreaming really big, the President of the US). How does one acheive this?

Dream big.

Walt Disney himself told us if we could dream it, we could most certainly do it. Another common quote is “make your dreams your expectations” – or in other words, whatever you think of doing when you gaze off into space… strive for it.

Signs of this thinking are everywhere, especially on social media sites like Pinterest. It seems every unmarried girl has a wedding pin-board… even the 14 year olds. Obviously, they’re dreaming big! There is nothing wrong with desiring some kind of marital relationship in the future, but all too often the wedding boards end up with more pins than all the rest of the boards put together. These girls desire a perfect wedding day and have come to expect Mr. Whoever They End Up With to know exactly how to carry out the “required” details of their day.

We gain unhealthy expectations by dreaming about marriage (After all, most people get married, don’t they? My mom got married… like mother like daughter… What if I’m going to meet Mr. Right when I staff camp this summer? I should start saving money right now!). It’s not wrong to desire marriage, but to “make your dreams your expectations” is to end up with a lot of broken, lonely nights. Your expectations aren’t God given! Your desires are.

Desires and dreams and expectations. Oh my. How does one sort out this mess of words?

The difference between the three can be found in the separate ways they can be acheived. Desires are the things God places in you that He will someday fulfill in HIS time, HIS ways, and HIS purpose (catch that? Not YOURS)…

Time Wasting

How much time do we waste daydreaming? Listening to music while pulling on our hair? Walking around nowhere, thinking useless thoughts? Thinking dumb things? Writing worthless stories? Buying clothes that don’t even fit properly?

I sat and thought how much stupid, wasted time I’ve had in the past 18 years and 11 months of my existence. I’m going to be so embarassed on Judgment Day. Someone is keeping score of all the hours you’ve spent lying on your bed staring off into space listening to Adam Lambert with a pink lemonade in your hand. Someone sees every time you roll your eyes to your brother. Someone is keeping track. And He doesn’t want to hear: “Split ends are fun to split!” when he asks you why you didn’t brush your teeth so you could be on time for your meeting. You’re going to wish you had more focus.

How much time have you wasted lately? O.O

The last four or five Set Apart Girl magazines have had some excellent articles on time wasters. Not all of them were relevant to me, but many of them I found to be very encouraging. Go read them. Now. It’s a time well spent.

Thank You For Your Patience!

I’m trying to focus on college studies and my ebook! Hopefully very soon I will have an ebook on singleness for you to buy!

Thank you for your patience!

A Poll and a Break

I’m in the process of publishing an ebook on singleness and callings, hitting the books hard for college credit, and planning for VBS decorations and a drama I’m in charge of. Among some other exciting events I may or may not share with you.

So, I’ll be on blogging hiatus for this blog for the next two weeks as I find this to be necessary.

I will, however, try to crank out pictures and such on my other blog.

In the meantime, take this poll…

Salt Lake City, Utah

See pictures and (brief) thoughts from my recent trip to Salt Lake City, Utah at this link…

http://lauralea-photography.blogspot.com/2012/05/salt-lake-city-utah.html

 

The Hokey Pokey is the Root of All Evil: Finally Continued

Today we look briefly (and perhaps shallow-ly) at the rise of the celebrity and it’s relation to the Great Awakening.

I can’t begin to count the amount of Christians who condemn Hollywood for bringing the problem of celebrity and sensationalism to the youth of the church.  It’s not exactly the sole problem of Hollywood. While it certainly springs from Tinseltown today, yesterday is started in the Great Awakening.

Let’s think of the 1800′s:

Preachers coming in from hundreds of miles away didn’t arrive in a few weeks. They often sent along publicists to put up signs, billboards, and posters announcing the coming of the great preacher. As months turned to weeks and weeks to days, the popularity of the preacher became so great that the townspeople only talked about getting to meet this famous person and hear him, shake his hand, etc.

Of course, the preacher did his best to live up to the expectations of the people, who came out to see him speak. He told wild stories of his adventures for shock, built up the audience’s emotions with intense re-tellings of the things he’d seen. This lead to sensationalism, high emotions, and a group of followers that began to think and act on the preacher’s every word.

If you study any book on the Great Awakening, you will quickly find eight or so preachers who used emotional and sensational tactics to bring in the numbers. You may read more here and here.

Giveaway Winners Announced!

I am so glad everyone entered the giveaways this past week! I am blessed by your readership and was encouraged to see your responses to all the posts! I just drew names from Random.org, and here they are (please note that winning one giveaway doesn’t disqualify you from winning others)

Lost Art of True Beauty: Becca

It’s Not That Complicated: LindseyMarie

Choosing Gratitude: Devin

Scarf: Devin

Prodigal God: Melinda

Now And Not Yet: Allison

Tea: Melinda

Hair Stuff: Allison

I will be emailing the winners very soon!

Have a lovely day

Let The Colorado Adventures Begin!

For the curious, I’ve begun 1 of 3 posts of pictures from my stateside-trotting adventures here.